Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Decency? Sorry, I Have No Sense of That

Brender
1. "All right! All right! I'm sorry I voted for Prop 8! Please stop protesting me!"

2. "I see, and what other things did Mr. Jackson make you do at the Neverland sleepover, all those years ago."

3. What happens in Shanghai stays in Shanghai... because the government butchers the witnesses and sells their organs in Europe.

4. Many critics thought the Red Chinese adaptation of Hair! lacked the free spirited spontaneity of the original.

5. "So, see anything you like?"

Best of Kaptain Krude
"Faster! Faster, you dogs! We'll never catch those Americans and their damned particle accelerators at this rate! Hup two three four!"

Best of Jack Reacher
Although named the same, the Chinese Stimulus Package of 2008 doesn't look anything like ours.

Best of MattKostume
If Lt. Sulu was made Captain...

Best of sonicfrog
French military expert Lt. Fifi LeMond instructs the U.N. Peace-keeper cadets the proper techniques for surrender.

Best of Submariner
Dag-nabbit! Won't the dad-burned New York Times EVER quit runnin' Abu Ghraib photos?

Best of Seoulman (R)
if it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, sounds like a duck, it is probably just Chinese soldiers training

Best of Seoulman (R)
In Gitmo, the NYT calls this torture, in China they call it Wednesday

Best of MattKostume
Dr. Hwang refused to release the platoon until the last of them was house-broken.

Best of Rodney Dill
"Arright... who say 'AFRAC!'"

Best of molson
Why mono-gender sex education doesn't work.

57 comments:

metalgarth said...

ling around the losie, pocket full of posie....

Anonymous said...

Cantonese Circle of Jerks

Kaptain Krude said...

"Faster! Faster, you dogs! We'll never catch those Americans and their damned particle accelerators at this rate! Hup two three four!"

Kaptain Krude said...

"Man, this is the weirdest fraternity pledging I've ever had to do."

Kaptain Krude said...

"Sorry, we were too busy doing this to be bombing Pearl Harbor. Why don't you go interrogate those Germans over there? I didn't see them at all that day!" The Huffington Post's readers' collective heads all a-splode.


wv: phings - you do the math

dub said...

Duck.... Duck.... Duck.... Duck.... Duck.... Dick!

MattKostume said...

File Irand.

aj said...

FOX decides to clean up their Fall lineup with the new sitcom "Asian Sex Slaves...From Asia!"

MattKostume said...

Beats me, Col. Chang. Even with their clothes off they STILL all look the same.

MattKostume said...

"I'll ask you one more time... WHO ate the secret microchip?? Col. Chang, MORE laxative!!!"

MattKostume said...

Thai Massage: UR DOING IT WRONG.

aj said...

"Th John McCain Triology: Payback's a Bitch" reaches #1 in the box office for 3 weeks in a row.

MattKostume said...

Major Cho was disappointed with Dr. Changs Ladyboy experiment. They still looked more boy than lady.

aj said...

Free Tibet becomes a bit too free.

MattKostume said...

No. No. NO. I just wanted guys NAMED "Wang" to hop around in a circle.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Chinese concentration camp officials pee'd in their pants with laughter at the hubbub over the Abu Ghraib prison scandal. After all, they thought they'd perfected torture techniques over 3000 years; but begrudingly admitted that using FEMALE soldiers and cheerleader pyramids was truly inspired.

aj said...

As you see Mr. Hung Lo, with our new wind resistant uniforms, food deilvery times will be reduced by 10%.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Though increasingly difficult to get into the Guinness Book, with millions of hungry desperate citizens at his disposal, Kim Jong-Il knew he could easily break the world's Same Sex Daisy Chain record. "Okay, take 5... Boiled Grass for Everyone!"

MattKostume said...

Our "Dear Leader" ordered THIS? That's just Kim Jong SICK!!

MattKostume said...

To maintain his modesty, Corporal Chang was sure to wear his wristwatch.

MattKostume said...

Zigfierd's Forries.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Japanese automotive success comes at a price - "Hokay, the next step in our corporate indoctrination program is a bit tricky... Seargent, where's that big jar of Vaserine? Cue the I Onry Have Eyes for You music."

MattKostume said...

Dr. Hwang has his labworkers lift display their armpits to prove he is not running a "sweatshop".

Ok, that was bad.

MattKostume said...

Ghey Feng Shui.

MattKostume said...

Apparently, "Tai Chi" is Mandarin for "circle jerk".

MattKostume said...

Tae Kwon Do??? That's down the hall. This is Ghey Kwon Do.

MattKostume said...

Dr. Klan is building a naked fighting force of extraordinary magnitude. We forge our spirits in nudity. He has our gratitude.

Jack Reacher said...

The reason New employee orientation in San Francisco takes all day.

Jack Reacher said...

Although named the same, the Chinese Stimulus Package of 2008 doesn't look anything like ours.

MattKostume said...

Birth of the Wang Dynasty.

MattKostume said...

Morning calisthenics at Frisco's Chinatown YMCA.

mega said...

ORA
We always squat-walk to the right...always to the right, never to the left.

mattKostume said...

Inmates of GuantonHomo Bay

MattKostume said...

If Lt. Sulu was made Captain...

MattKostume said...

George Takei's wildest dream.

MattKostume said...

Scenes from the "alternative lifestyle universe" episode directed by George Takei.

MattKostume said...

George Takei as Bones McCoy in Ghey Trek VII: The Next Penetration.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Musical Chairs, captured prisoner style... "When the music stops, comrades, you MUST grab a seat."

WordVerify: terist - Another Shrub mangle-ism, like nukulur

Achilles said...

George Takei's wedding reception was a subdued affair.

sonicfrog said...

French military expert Lt. Fifi LeMond instructs the U.N. Peace-keeper cadets the proper techniques for surrender.

Submariner said...

Dag-nabbit! Won't the dad-burned New York Times EVER quit runnin' Abu Ghraib photos?

flyovercountry said...

Why Japan has no army.

Rodney Dill said...

'duck... duck... duck...' Everyone waited in anticipation for the dreaded 'goose'

Seoulman (R) said...

How do you build an army like Korea?

Seoulman (R) said...

Sensitivity training was always for fun when there were no stupid women around.

Seoulman (R) said...

if it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, sounds like a duck, it is probably just Chinese soldiers training

Seoulman (R) said...

Gay soldier in uniform: you know after eating 20 Chinese I am still hungry

Seoulman (R) said...

In Gitmo, the NYT calls this torture, in China they call it Wednesday

flyovercountry said...

"Hey you, tuna can, yeah you, the one with the tuna can shaped penis. You are out of here. Report back to KP duty."

The first of many disappointments in Hung Small's military life.

Matt Kostume said...

*THIS* is what that poseur-ass tattoo on your ankle translates to.

MattKostume said...

Dr. Hwang refused to release the platoon until the last of them was potty-trained.

Matt Kostume said...

Dr. Hwang refused to release the platoon until the last of them was house-broken.

Thats what I meant to say, anyway...

Rodney Dill said...

"Arright... who say 'AFRAC!'"

Rodney Dill said...

Abu Ghraib... the musical.

molson said...

Why mono-gender sex education doesn't work.

Submariner said...

EGG ROLL; UR DOIN IT RONG

Submariner said...

OK, boys, now "pack it in."