Sunday, October 26, 2008

OHAI



1. The hills are alive -- and they're eating the cows!

2. Unfortunately, Bessie's tunnel to freedom led straight into the Tyrannosaurus paddock at Jurassic Park.

3. The one day, a wandering cow fell into their tunnel network. Colonel Hogan and all the others were executed the next day.

4. After weeks of brainwashing by the KGB, the mob, and the Bush family, Bossie ducks behind the grassy knoll and waits patiently for JFK's motorcade.

5. "OMG! What is Joe doing to that Holstein?"

Far Side Puntastic Best of prince of leaves
Cowspies.

Best of mega
PETA faced a moral dilemma. Cosmetic ear surgery to get the "Obama Look" was a huge fad for the Left, but was it OK to do it to animals?

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
After eating a ton of jimson weed, Bessie was so toasted she couldn't resist playing Peek-a-Moo with Mr. Green Jeans until the cows came home, so to speak.

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Rumors that a clandestine experiment cloned a panthercow was met with derision, until a pride of heiffers began stalking and pouncing on dairymen

Best of Seoulman (R)
Do you know where the farmer touched me? I am so ashamed. I can't ever go back in that barn.

Best of Army of Dad
Great cheese comes from hiding cows.

Best of Rodney Dill
Another victim of the La Brea Cow Pits.

Best of GregMan
ORA: How Not To Be Seen, cow version.

Best of mpur
Dude, that is the strangest looking mushroom ever.

Best of Army of Mom
Cowroy was here.

51 comments:

mega said...

ACORN: "No problem, dude. Give him a registration card!"

...

Sally had been moved from her farm in Pennsylvania to a field in Ohio, where it was felt her vote would do more good for Obama.

prince of leaves said...

Cowspies.

prince of leaves said...

ORA: Yet another reason why children shouldn't be allowed to play with cziltang brones.

prince of leaves said...

"Oh, it's YOU, Bessie! I thought for a moment it was that Obama guy coming back to campaign some more."

mega said...

By 2017, with the DOW stuck below 250, New York City reverted to a primitive, agricultural region.

mega said...

PETA faced a moral dilemma. Cosmetic ear surgery to get the "Obama Look" was a huge fad for the Left, but was it OK to do it to animals?

mega said...

PETA faced a moral dilemma. Cosmetic ear surgery to get the "Obama Look" was a huge fad for the Left, but was it OK to do it to animals?

Carpe Phlogiston said...

After eating a ton of jimson weed, Bessie was so toasted she couldn't resist playing Peek-a-Moo with Mr. Green Jeans until the cows came how, so to speak.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Something Fat, this way comes!
Halloween approacheth. Dub spends nights tossing and turning, troubled by VtheK plumper pranks. Vivid nightsows begin with an apparition rising from the ground - "Hello, dub... I'm the ghost of Thursday future."

word verify was too COWincidental - cheeZer

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Erratum

After eating a ton of jimson weed, Bessie was so toasted she couldn't resist playing Peek-a-Moo with Mr. Green Jeans until the cows came home, so to speak.

Jack Reacher said...

"A little help here, please."

DoubleU said...

Shhhhhh! Cowbama will hear you.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Rumors that a clandestine experiment cloned a panthercow was met with derision, until a pride of heiffers began stalking and pouncing on dairymen, dragging them into the tumbleweeds down by the crick.

Seoulman (R) said...

The only creature alive who hasn't heard of Ron Paul

Seoulman (R) said...

Do you know where the farmer touched me? I am so ashamed. I can't ever go back in that barn.

Seoulman (R) said...

due to some unexpected genetic side effects, Joe Biden's hair plugs took on a life of their own.

Seoulman (R) said...

New Sharia regulations insisted that "well endowed" male cattle, must remain hidden behind hills, known by the locals as a bull-qa

molson said...

With legions of ACORN political canvassers scouring the countryside for imaginary voters, cows became justifiably nervous. Sheep completely disappeared from sight.

Jay Guevara said...

Obama's real mom secretly looked on in pride, wishing only she could publicly acknowledge her son.

flyovercountry said...

Bessy looked at Farmer Brown warily, she had just about had enough with the "hands in the bucket of ice before milking" gag.

Rodney Dill said...

That ain't no holstein, looks like only half-a-stein to me.

flyovercountry said...

Eight years worth of hay-check
Eight years worth of water-check
A hole big enough to hide in-check

OK, I'm ready for an Obama presidency.

Silhouette said...

"We planted fifty head of cows, so we expect a bumper crop of calves come spring. Come along and I'll show you where we planted the bird seed. We're hoping they're turkeys." - US Attorneys, fired by Bush, try a hand at farming.

Army of Dad said...

Great cheese comes from hiding cows.

Army of Dad said...

I CAN HAZ BATHROBE?

Army of Dad said...

Peeping Bessy.

Rodney Dill said...

Another victim of the La Brea Cow Pits.

GregMan said...

ORA: How Not To Be Seen, cow version.

GregMan said...

After the Obamessiah collectivized Amerikkkan agriculture using Stalin's plans, the village Kulaks tried hiding their cows, but the village commissars found them anyway.

GregMan said...

Hearing that the Dirty Jobs crew is in town again, Bessy hides for her life, having had quite enough of Mike Rowe's arm up her butt.

GregMan said...

Man, that is one ugly groundhog.

GregMan said...

Michelle Obama, The Enumclaw Years.

Dub said...

I CAN HAZ THURZDAY BABE ROLE?

shoechick said...

Peek-a-moo.

mpur said...

Dude, that is the strangest looking mushroom ever.

Army of Mom said...

Cowroy was here.

Army of Mom said...

What a hoochie mama cow sees when a heifer goes down on her.

*I'm so going to hell for this one*

Army of Mom said...

*Jedi mind trick*

This is not the cow you're looking for.

Army of Mom said...

How to tell when the farmer's daughter does the tagging: she gives the heifers matching earrings.

Army of Mom said...

EAT MOR CHIKN

Army of Mom said...

I CAN HAZ CUD

Army of Mom said...

Subby, your prom date is here.

Army of Mom said...

Now, everyone, remove your Dub goggles and you'll see a shapely lass with comehither eyes.

Army of Mom said...

Udderly adorable.

Army of Dad said...

Squeal like a pig boy!

Army of Mom said...

Needs more cowbell.

Army of Mom said...

After Bessie was replaced by a lemur in Madagascar, she was never the same.

Sometimes in the pastures of North Texas, you could hear her singing:

I live to mooooooooooove it, moooooooooove it.

Army of Mom said...

Bessie gets ready to show off her new dance move: cow hands!

Army of Mom said...

Get your slimy cowhands off of me! I'm not that kind of heifer.

Army of Mom said...

Slightly off topic, but when I was in college, I had a roomie from Jonesboro, Arkansas, who had an ancient car called a Zephyr and she nicknamed it the heifer. So, she'd say: Let's all go jump in the heifer and head to the liquor store (or something similiar.) It was always funny when we had guests and they didn't know what "the heifer" was. LOL

Dub said...

Ow to speak Enumclaw: Prom Date