Saturday, October 11, 2008

The First Step Down That Long Road That Ends On a Mexican Forklift


1. One day, little Mikey Moore would have revenge on the capitalist pig running dog Good Humor man. One day.

2. "Thanks, son. Y'all just cured my pedophilia."

3. "Rosie? That's an unusual name for a little boy."

4. "Would this kid even fit in my crawlspace?" the Good Humor Man wondered.

5. ORA: "So, Josh, still astroturfing Discarded Lies?"

Best of Jack Reacher
Good Humor man thought bubble: "That reminds me; there's a special on Discovery tonight about piranhas, and how they pick the bones clean."

Best of molson
Hey Good Humor Man... Do these tighty whities make me look fat? Wait. Before you answer get me another chocolate eclair.

Best of divine miss m
If it's okay for a bartender to cut off an obviously intoxicated drinker, shouldn't it be okay for an ice cream man to cut off an obviously fat kid?

Best of Army of Dad
A typical fat kid bitterly clings to his popsicle stick.

Best of attmay
Hey kid, auditions for the Michelin commercial are a couple blocks down the road.

Best of Seoulman (R)
The cousin Ben and Jerry don't talk about.

26 comments:

Jack Reacher said...

While the welcome mat is out for most kids, little Timmy gets the Purge Rug. wv: jubba

Jack Reacher said...

Good Humor man thought bubble: "That reminds me; there's a special on Discovery tonight about piranhas, and how they pick the bones clean."

Jack Reacher said...

"I appreciate your business, Son, but for the last time, we don't have beef or pork. Just ice cream."

Jack Reacher said...

Walter Monegan, former Alaska public safety commissioner, settles into his new job.

mpur said...

Who knew little Mikey Moore would grow up to be a fat lying bastard?

Carpe Phlogiston said...

After the Shrub reauthorized the draft and the DoD lowered standards, quota-desperate Army recruiters were finally free to tap a promising pool of candidates.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Democrats - group opposed to the Republican dream of a kingdom where 25 rich guys rule and 350 million commoners eat cake - come up with a creative strategy to turn America into their utopian 3rd world country: subvert the already defective election process by bribing "dwarfs" to sign registration forms.

molson said...

Hey Good Humor Man... Do these tighty whities make me look fat? Wait. Before you answer get me another chocolate eclair.

divine miss m said...

If it's okay for a bartender to cut off an obviously intoxicated drinker, shouldn't it be okay for an ice cream man to cut off an obviously fat kid?

Army of Dad said...

Well at least his mommy put a towl down for the drips.

Army of Dad said...

Barney Frank would often pay the good humor man to just park on the street in front of his house.

No we know why.

Army of Dad said...

This is why Ted Kennedy couldn't save Mary Jo Kopeckny. He missed his swim lessons when the ice cream truck drove by the pool.

Army of Dad said...

A typical fat kid bitterly clings to his popsicle stick.

Army of Dad said...

If Kim Jong Il and MIchael Moore had a baby it woudl look like this.

Army of Dad said...

Giant fat androgynous kid.

ATDHE

Army of Dad said...

Oompa loompa doopity do, why are we even trying to get through to you?

Army of Dad said...

lolfatkids.com didn't get the same interest as lolcats.

attmay said...

Hey kid, auditions for the Michelin commercial are a couple blocks down the road.

Submariner said...

Dammit, Tubby; can't you read? Yer supposed ta be in a GOOD humor when I come around...

Submariner said...

OK, Russell; I have thirteen more for you since your mommy put down the extra towel in her bedroom for dribbles... uhhhhh; watch the truck, ok?

Submariner said...

GH Man's thought bubble; "This kid reminds me - I need to stop and get a few pounds of bacon for the men's club breakfast on Saturday..."

Seoulman (R) said...

Hey, it's diet ice cream. 5 more of these and I will be as skinny as a pencil.

Seoulman (R) said...

Mommy look, my two favorite flavors: nose candy and paste.

Seoulman (R) said...

The cousin Ben and Jerry don't talk about.

Seoulman (R) said...

Watch Mommy. I can do magic. I can eat a red popsicle and get yellow in the front and brown in the back

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Hurry up kid, I've gotta be at the horsetrack in half an hour. GoodHumor's got the pole position and she looks like a winner!

-or-

Thornton built the animatronic kid out of foam rubber and two beach balls. Darned if it didn't attract the neighborhood rugrats better than a goose decoy in a wetlands flyway during the height of autumn migration.