Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Dad?


1. "Lemmiwinks, I don't think we're at the Folsom Street Fair any more."

2. None of the Tokyo Police were interested in hearing how Trig Palin was not really Sarah's baby, and Andrew Sullivan was hauled away to jail, where he he had a jolly good time indeed!

3. The exact moment the 'Verizon Network' ads jumped the shark.

4. "I happen to be on my way to teach kindergarten sex ed. Now, stand aside, or I shall report you to the Obama Education Kommissarr."

5. "What's wrong with you right-wing Theocrats. The human wang is a beautiful thing!"

Best of Seoulman (R)
"Walking around naked in public, odd, we Japanese don't have a word for that fetish. I thought we had a word for all of them.

Best of Seoulman (R)
"You know officer, the funniest thing happened...What? Where do the goat, latex gloves and Tina Yothers come in? That's not important... Anyway

Best of The Man
With the death of John Connor, the Terminators just really let themselves go.

Best of flyovercountry
While Chinatown is very popular in San Francisco, San Franciscotown is not very popular in Beijing.

Best of Army of Dad
Oh big American boyfriend.

Best of jj
Nancy Pelosi, during the SanFran GayPride Parade, gets drunk, loses her wig, and meets constituents.

Best of Dub
After their unfortunate run in with Peter North last month, the Tokyo police have wisely decided to use shields in these kinds of events now.

Best of mpur
The Japanese have the strangest porn.

Best of prince of leaves
What are the odds, I have that same flabby ass!

Best of GregMan
Another one of the Obamessiah's extramarital affairs gets sent abroad to keep silent.

Best of steve o
Is there a problem, officer?

Best of mega
The details of Commodore Perry's 19th century mission have never been known. Suffice to say, he used a variety of techniques to humiliate, enrage, and ultimately cause the submission of his Japanese hosts. One one journal entry of Perry's relates: "Met with Lord Tokugawa today. Came to Nagasaki naked. Alowed my giant caucasian penis to swing violently from side to side. Looked hungrily upon their women while this was transpiring, it causing some swelling in my man-meat, which caused them fear and trepidation. The bulging, swinging organ frieghtened them and establihed that I was the new shogun in town. This succeeded at getting Tokyo Bay open to commerce at last."

53 comments:

Seoulman (R) said...

"rook, it like Godzirra hanging off mountain."

*with apologies to my Asian friends :)

Seoulman (R) said...

"Walking around naked in public, odd, we Japanese don't have a word for that fetish. I thought we had a word for all of them.

Seoulman (R) said...

I have that same outfit only 5 sizes smaller.

Seoulman (R) said...

The Japanese street theater community was unimpressed with Robby's impression of Bill Clinton.

Seoulman (R) said...

Man, the things white people have to do in Japan to be noticed.

Seoulman (R) said...

"You know officer, the funniest thing happened...What? Where do the goat, latex gloves and Tina Yothers come in? That's not important... Anyway

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Dumbest drinking dare ever?: Chief Petty Officer Stark bet he could streak through [insert correct asian city here] and make it back to the USS Blowhole before it sailed. He is currently listed as AWOL and USCINCPAC refuses comment.

Kaptain Krude said...

"Sir, we humbry ask you to put your hands up and submit to awwest. And put some pants on, you making us all feel vewwy inadequate."

mpur said...

I can tell you right now, he's too fat for dub.

andthenblammo! said...

"Sorry, you're the first American
we've met since the Obama tax rates went into effect. We weren't prepared for the consequences!"

The Man said...

With the death of John Connor, the Terminators just really let themselves go.

flyovercountry said...

(In English) Sir, don't look now, but there is a police officer behind you with an ASP that is about to take you out.

(In Japanese) I told you Sarge, they never look, they think they are so smart.

flyovercountry said...

While China town is very popular in San Francisco, San Francisco town is not very popular in Beijing.

sonicfrog said...

Pardon me sir, do you have any Grey Poupon?

Army of Dad said...

Dub visits Tokyo.

Army of Dad said...

Oh big American boyfriend.

Army of Dad said...

Fat man run very fast and then go "splash"!

Army of Dad said...

Get the broken grass, that will srow him down.

jj said...

Nancy Pelosi, during the SanFran GayPride Parade, gets drunk, loses her wig, and meets constituents.

Dub said...

After their unfortunate run in with Peter North last month, the Tokyo police have wisely decided to use shields in these kinds of events now.

Kaptain Krude said...

"What's the problem, officers? I'm just taking my pet rooster out for a walk *snicker*."

Anonymous said...

The last Republican heads to Japan to find work.....

Anonymous said...

Look, Bill Clinton woke up and though he was still in Washington.

Anonymous said...

Can anyone help me find my cigar? Officer: "look Monica ran away".

Son Of The Godfather said...

This season, on "Heroes"...
*snicker*
"Oh my gosh, Burt... you're..."
*snicker*
"INVISIBLE!"

mpur said...

The Japanese have the strangest porn.

molson said...

Screw you Taichō. I'm not gonna search him for ID.

prince of leaves said...

Given the honor and prestige attending the sport, it was all too tragically common for sumo wrestlers who didn't make the cut to go on angry rampages ending in "suicide by cop".

prince of leaves said...

What are the odds, I have that same flabby ass!

prince of leaves said...

Cop over nudie's right shoulder to the cop to his left: "Great heavens, Koichi, you are right...it IS Hillary Clinton!"

robert said...

Say, officer, is that an electric prod you got there?

Rook! The gargantuan American penis!

Original pic comment: "another Brit behaving badly abroad"... so when did Sully make it to Tokyo?

prince of leaves said...

"I'm white...why ELSE would people call me 'Wang'?"

Jack Reacher said...

"That's right, boys; get a look at the REAL San Francisco Treat."

Jack Reacher said...

Another photo that won't be making the recruiting posters for the Tokyo PD.

Whacko said...

It had come to this. The only way Phil could get an erection was to get tasered and this was the only way Phil could get tasered.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Facing stiff competition from crazy Japanese Game shows, Howie Mandel goes to extraordinary lengths to promote "Deal or No Deal Tokyo". He could've avoided arrest had he not forgotten to carry the trademark silver attache case.

Army of Dad said...

David Duchovny has really let himself go.

Army of Dad said...

Have you heard the good news about Ron Paul?

Army of Dad said...

Finally American responds for Chinpokomon.

GregMan said...

This is not the naked old man I knew.

GregMan said...

Another one of the Obamessiah's extramarital affairs gets sent abroad to keep silent.

GregMan said...

President Obamessiah selects Bruce Rodstroker of San Francisco as his new ambassador to Japan. Hilarity ensues.

GregMan said...

The only problem with getting gang-banged by a bunch of Asians is that half an hour later you want to get gang-banged again. Andrew, however, was willing to chance it.

Army of Mom said...

Where will you be when your laxative kicks in?

Army of Mom said...

mpur, your prom date is here. Oh, and look, he must be in the military because he's standing at attention!

Army of Mom said...

Policeman thought bubble: I knew it was cold, but damn.

Army of Mom said...

Look, mpur. I told you shrinkage was real.

Army of Mom said...

Look, kids, pin the tail on the asshole!

Army of Mom said...

God, let's hope hes a grower, cuz he sure ain't a shower!

steve o said...

Is there a problem, officer?

Rodney Dill said...

Bend... and Snap.

mega said...

The details of Commodore Perry's 19th century mission have never been known. Suffice to say, he used a variety of techniques to humiliate, enrage, and ultimately cause the submission of his Japanese hosts. One one journal entry of Perry's relates: "Met with Lord Tokugawa today. Came to Nagasaki naked. Alowed my giant caucasian penis to swing violently from side to side. Looked hungrily upon their women while this was transpiring, it causing some swelling in my man-meat, which caused them fear and trepidation. The bulging, swinging organ frieghtened them and establihed that I was the new shogun in town. This succeeded at getting Tokyo Bay open to commerce at last."

Rodney Dill said...

Serenity Now!