1. "It's about how society oppresses the human spirit through repressive age of consent laws. Does it make you feel... tingly, Billy?"
2. "Yeah, we know it looks like random crap a four year old could make, but if you stand next to it and say, 'Aah' a lot, your idiot art-fag friends will think you sophisticated."
3. "Sorry kids, most of our furniture was redistributed to people on welfare. Also, we only get to eat every other day now. It's the Change we've been waiting for."
4. "Now, the next room is devoted to something called 'Performance Art,' and you'll also find out why we made you wear cardboard toilets on your head."
5. "This artist is one of my favorites, kids. She expresses her repressed rage through the medium of her own menses and excrement."
6. "If you like this, kids, wait 'til you see the Mapplethorpe exhibit!"
Best of Seoulman (R)
See what happens when you forget your ritalin Billy? You make crap like this
Best of Jack Reacher
Timmy found the dead spider in the corner more interesting and, truthfully, more aesthetic.
Best of Rodney Dill
"It's called art, you're supposed to discuss what you see. I see a rectum Billy... do you know what a rectum is?"