Monday, October 13, 2008

And You Thought United Sucked

Gorak


1. One of the many new "Green Jobs" you can look forward to under the Obama Administration.

2. Your Democratic Party reminds you. There *are* alternatives to drilling in ANWR.

3. "You must lower the carbon footprint of Comrade Obama's airplane! Push! Comrades! Push!"

4. Wait until the passengers find out the whole thing was a ruse so the pilot could score with a flight attendant, then they'll really get pissed.

5. It all worked out in the end. The plane returned to the terminal. Kirstie Ally got off. And the plane was able to get off the ground.

Very Brady Best of mpur
OK, now pop the clutch!

Best of Seoulman (R)
It's no fun playing hide and go seek at the airport when everyone has the same hiding place.

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Thanks to fine print on the Passenger's Bill of Rights recently adopted by the airline industry, next time a plane's stuck on a taxiway for more than 59 minutes, passengers will be allowed to volunteer to push it back to the terminal.

Best of The Man
Thank you for flying Glorious North Korean Airlines.

Best of Jack Reacher
The ironic part; Their luggage is on a plane being pushed to a different terminal.

Best of Whacko
"On Southwest Airlines, we don't charge you extra to taxi the plane to the gate like other airlines."

Best of mega
Hey, it beats building roads and bridges. Everybody on my block's been assigned to build roads and bridges.

Best of molson
I don't care if Al Gore's carbon foot print is huge. He's better than you so shut your pie holes and keep pushing.

Best of flyovercountry
One passenger/pusher to another,"Wouldn't it be easier to bring the gas to the plane?"

Best of Army of Dad
Hey! Who is the smart @ss in the cockpit tapping the breaks!?

30 comments:

Seoulman (R) said...

do we get peanuts after this? Maybe even a full can of coke?

Seoulman (R) said...

Many hands make light work, my ass!

Seoulman (R) said...

I am a proud member of the "My Ill Thigh" Club

Seoulman (R) said...

It's no fun playing hide and go seek at the airport when everyone has the same hiding place.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Thanks to fine print on the Passenger's Bill of Rights recently adopted by the airline industry, next time a plane's stuck on a taxiway for more than 59 minutes, passengers will be allowed to volunteer to push it back to the terminal.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Unions weren't thrilled with the new Walk of Shame fuel conservation rule - Whenever a pilot falls asleep and overshoots his destination, the entire flight crew must help push the plane back.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Excellent metaphor for the effect pork-laden bills passed by Congressional spendthrifts have on the nation. (also applies to their approach to tax "simplification")

mpur said...

OK, now pop the clutch!

The Man said...

At least your not the guy who has to carry all the luggage.

Jack Reacher said...

Man in red shirt "Well, I DID win the coin toss. Now quit bitching and start pushing."

The Man said...

Thank you for flying Glorious North Korean Airlines.

Jack Reacher said...

The ironic thing; Their luggage is on a plane being pushed to a different terminal.

Jack Reacher said...

Pilot to flight attendant, after premature landing: "Sorry, that's, uh, never happened to me before."

Passionate Conservative said...

this overbooking stuff is getting waaaaay out of control.

Army of Dad said...

The new fee structure heralded by American had a really low starting point for service.

Army of Dad said...

The chinese faked their spacewalk and then released a video of their new supersonic passenger jet.

Army of Mom said...

Pilot to passengers:

*crack of the microphone* We'd like to thank you for flying Sucky Douchebag Airlines. We know you have a choice *stifling a laugh* when you're flying and would like to thank you for choosing us. Feel free to thank the ground crew for getting us back to the terminal safely. Again, thank you for flying SDA.

Whacko said...

"On Southwest Airlines, we don't charge you extra to taxi the plane to the gate like other airlines."

mega said...

Hey, it beats building roads and bridges. Everybody on my block's been assigned to build roads and bridges.

molson said...

Peak oil? Who's laughing now bitches?

molson said...

OK. Only 599 miles to go. Now really put your backs into it you maggots!

molson said...

I don't care if Al Gore's carbon foot print is huge. He's better than you so shut your pie holes and keep pushing.

prince of leaves said...

After the fence was finally built, only illegal aliens with the strongest of grips could get over the border.

mega said...

"Ebay: jet for sale. Shipping not included. Pilot not provided." Palin's gambit made great PR, but for the buyer and his friends, it was a friekin' hassle.

flyovercountry said...

One passenger/pusher to another,"Wouldn't it be easier to bring the gas to the plane?"

Double the U said...

They still charge for extra baggage and for a drink of water.

Army of Dad said...

On SDA airlines you can get an STD when you join the 20 foot high club.

Army of Dad said...

Hey! Who is the smart @ss in the cockpit tapping the breaks!?

Kaptain Krude said...

"Watch the pothole! To the right! The right! No, your other right, you idiots!" Sometimes power went directly to Larry's head.

Whacko said...

Another jet chartered by the Flat Earth Society streaks into the skies.