Tuesday, October 21, 2008

1213852


1. After rising to power through a combination of corrupt politics and community organizing, the new mayor of Springfield followed the example of dictators everywhere, and put his name on everything.

2. The suits are provided to observant Muslim suspects, at taxpayers expense. It has something to do with cops being called "pigs."

3. Decontaminating the squad cars after Folsom Street Fair was a thankless task.

4. The new unit deals with juvenile offenders who are both spoiled rotten and dyslexic.

5. "... White House Press Secretary Keith Olbermann denied that any American cities had been the target of anthrax outbreaks, and blamed 'divisive, counter-revolutionary forces' for spreading the rumors on the eve of a historic summit with Iranian President Achmadinejad..."

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Controlling Bart Simpson was getting costly. First, Police Chief Clancy Wiggum had to create a special BART squad. Then, officers demanded hazmat suits because of Bart's post-pubescent body odor and flatulence problems.

Best of Rodney Dill
The FART POLICE have new containment procedures.

Best of mpur
Bart Man, the mascot for the Bart Police was not as well received as had been hoped.

Best of metalgarth
Just another day in the life of "Drunky Wunky", the Teletubbie that PBS doesn't want you to know about.

Best of Seoulman (R)
Minutes later, investigators discovered that the strange white powder on the trunk of the car was powdered sugar from an old doughnut

Best of jj
SanFran hazmat suit: Trap door in back.

Best of Dub
Based on the odd hump on this persons back, there is a 50/50 chance that my gramma is the one in the suit.

Best of Son Of The Godfather
Bay Area common dialogue:
"Sir, do you have anything in your pocket that may stick me or cause me injury?"
"Oh yeth, YETH!"

Best of Uchuck the Tuchuck
"Up against the car, Bubble Boy!"

21 comments:

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Controlling Bart Simpson was getting costly. First, Police Chief Clancy Wiggum had to create a special BART squad. Then, officers demanded hazmat suits because of Bart's post-pubescent body odor and flatulence problems.

Rodney Dill said...

The FART POLICE have new containment procedures.

mpur said...

Bart Man, the mascot for the Bart Police was not as well received as had been hoped.

metalgarth said...

Just another day in the life of "Drunky Wunky", the Teletubbie that PBS doesn't want you to know about.

Seoulman (R) said...

Not enven the protective suit could guard against the dangerous gases escaping from Obama's mouth. Minutes later, Robert joined the others in the zombie like chant "Hope and Change."

Dwight said...

Next on the E! Hollywood True Story: Unable to completely resume her girlish figure after being turned into a giant blueberry, Violet Beauregarde's life quickly became a downward spiral of crystal meth and Rain 5.

Seoulman (R) said...

I am making a citizen's arrest against myself for bio-terrorism

Dwight said...

Janet Reno's court ordered burka was still deemed indecent because her face was visible.

Seoulman (R) said...

Minutes later, investigators discovered that the strange white powder on the trunk of the car was powdered sugar from an old doughnut

jj said...

SanFran hazmat suit: Trap door in back.

Army of Dad said...

Hey rookie, you get to search him for contraband.

Dub said...

Based on the odd hump on this persons back, there is a 50/50 chance that my gramma is the one in the suit.

flyovercountry said...

Immediately after Joe was placed on the car for searching, he realized that he probably should have ditched his bank robbery disguise before going out for lunch.

Son Of The Godfather said...

A wise precaution when dating a woman who calls herself "Anne Thrax".

Son Of The Godfather said...

Bay Area common dialogue:

"Sir, do you have anything in your pocket that may stick me or cause me injury?"

"Oh yeth, YETH!"

Uchuck the Tuchuck said...

"Up against the car, Bubble Boy!"

Seoulman (R) said...

Announcer: Being safe while having quicky car sex, just got a lot safer... Thanks to Trojan Auto-erotic body condom. Experience all the pleasure without the dangers that can come from another person.

Submariner said...

algore and Jon F'n Karry both pointed out the similarities to W's suit and claimed he MUST be wearing a wire to give him answers...

Submariner said...

Nothin' ta be seein' here, folks. We're just preparin' ta make another raid on the ditch in Crawford; please ta be movin' along now...

Submariner said...

That ain't an hemorrhagic virus, mate. THIS is an ebola virus!

sonicfrog said...

Yeah, puking in this thing is a bitch.