Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Yeah, You Wish, Sullivan


1. Master of Arrogance Joe Biden demands that God pull both of his fingers.

2. "Huzzah!"

3. Biden badly overestimates the number of good ideas he's had during 39 years in the Senate.

4. Biden addresses the Nutroots Left and speaks to them on their own level: "Look at my boogers!"

5. "I see by my name-plate I'm about to shift out of phase again. Mr. Data, please reverse the polarity on my quantum stabilization matrix." Joe Biden plagiarizes Star Trek.

Best of Passionate Conservative
"Heh, my hemorrhoids were so bad it took a tube of Preparation H THIS BIG just so I could be with you here today.

Best of Kaptain Krude
"This is how big I get when I look at that pic of Kerri Walsh directly above my head in V the K's banner."

Best of GregMan
ORA: And now, a man with a tape recorder up his nose.

Best of stylinjulie
"Everybody, Stand up for Chuck!"

Best of Silhouette
Invisible flossing.

Best of Jack Reacher
"The chair recognizes the gentleman from Delaware, and requests that he stop shooting rubber bands."

Best of Van Helsing
Biden's next job: Throw your pie between the goalposts and win a kewpie doll.

Best of baslimthecripple
Joe Bidet demonstrates how far he is prepared to take it up the keester to be VP.

Best of Submariner
It's a "good touch" up to this far, then I get uncomfortable...

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
"They're coming to take me away, ho-ho, hee-hee, ha-haaa To the funny farm. Where life is beautiful all the time and I'll be happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats and they're coming to take me away, ha-haaa!!!!! To the happy home. With trees and flowers and chirping birds and basket weavers who sit and smile and twiddle their thumbs and toes and they're coming to take me away, ha-haaa!!! "

Best of Army of Dad
So you have a hot running mate, whoopty freaking do.

Best of Army of Mom
LOVE BOAT ISAAC: UR DOIN IT RONG!

Best of mega
Biden's screen-test for "Dances With Wolves" had gone badly, except for the 'Tatankah' scene, which all agreed he had carried off with great charm and ebullience.

Best of Whacko
Not to be outdone by Michelle, Joe shows off his cool dance move (that's right, he only has one)

59 comments:

Double the U said...

No Mr. Biden, your vote will only count once.

Passionate Conservative said...

Finger exercises left Senator Biden with the ability to stick two fingers up his nose simultaneously.

Passionate Conservative said...

Biden demonstrates just how close he came to beating the stuffing out of John McCain in the Senate Cloakroom for making fun of his plugs.

Passionate Conservative said...

Senator Biden. Fashion pate.

Passionate Conservative said...

Biden really needs to do something about that misaligned jaw.

Kaptain Krude said...

"Okay, Obama, flick that paper football right over here and we'll win this whole ball of paraffin." Nobody could compete with the Obama-Biden fantasy football team during the playoffs. (After November, they'll have a lot more time to sharpen those skills.)

Passionate Conservative said...

"Heh, my hemorrhoids were so bad it took a tube of Preparation H THIS BIG just so I could be with you here today.

Kaptain Krude said...

"This is how big I get when I look at that pic of Kerri Walsh directly above my head in V the K's banner."

Passionate Conservative said...

That's nothing, on my last fishing trip I caught a rainbow trout this big. I named it Barack.

GregMan said...

ORA: And now, a man with a tape recorder up his nose.

GregMan said...

"Not only would Shrillary make a better vice-presidential candidate than me, she's THIS MUCH bigger than me!"

GregMan said...

"I can stick my foot THIS FAR in my mouth!"

stylinjulie said...

"Everybody, Stand up for Chuck!"

GregMan said...

"How big is baby Biden? THIS BIG!"

Silhouette said...

"He's clean. And articulate."

Silhouette said...

Invisible flossing.

Jack Reacher said...

Yes, Senator, the restroom is one floor up. By the look of your clenched jaw, you should hurry.

Jack Reacher said...

Senator Biden takes a guess at the direction of Monday's Dow Jones closing average.

Jack Reacher said...

"Oh, Oh! Mr. Kotter!"

Jack Reacher said...

"The chair recognizes the gentleman from Delaware, and requests that he stop shooting rubber bands."

Van Helsing said...

Biden's next job: Throw your pie between the goalposts and win a kewpie doll.

baslimthecripple said...

Joe Bidet demonstrates how far he is prepared to take it up the keester to be VP.

Submariner said...

It's a "good touch" up to this far, then I get uncomfortable...

Submariner said...

Joe tries to appeal to the Catholic Crowd by doing his impression of Notre Dame's "touchdown Jesus."

Submariner said...

Missed it by THAT much!

Carpe Phlogiston said...

To prove he's sober enough to be Vice President, Joe self-administered a field sobriety test live on Meet The Press... and failed. It would be replayed at NBC Christmas parties like foreverrr.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

During a boring filibuster, Joe begrudingly accepts a Republican's double dare to stick his fingers in his ears and see if they'd touch. The subsequent loud POP confirmed suspicions... he's full of hot air.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Don't tell me you can't hear that pitter patter coming from the ceiling. I tell you, this freaking chamber is infested with rats!

-or-

"They're coming to take me away, ho-ho, hee-hee, ha-haaa To the funny farm. Where life is beautiful all the time and I'll be happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats and they're coming to take me away, ha-haaa!!!!! To the happy home. With trees and flowers and chirping birds and basket weavers who sit and smile and twiddle their thumbs and toes and they're coming to take me away, ha-haaa!!! "

Carpe Phlogiston said...

When caught in a lie, Biden always falls back on his Ralph Kramden impression - "One of these days, Alice, bang, zoom, straight to the moon!"

Dub said...

When I look at the volleyball player in the banner ad in conjunction with this picture, I cant help but to wonder which asshole she's pointing at.

Army of Mom said...

You do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself around, that's what its all about!

Army of Mom said...

And, when my boy tried to play cops and robbers, I would instruct him not to use finger guns because guns can kill people. Rather, he should just use his finger laser beams and zap the hell out of 'em.

Army of Mom said...

I laid some serious cable in there. Does anyone have some air freshener?

Dub said...

Senator Biden....seating for 3.

Passionate Conservative said...

Who wants a cinnamon stick?

Jack Reacher said...

My baloney has a first name...

Army of Mom said...

Sometimes when I get really nervous, I take my index fingers and put them under my armpits ...

Submariner said...

Hey Barry! I have an idea for the campai*.*.*. Uh, never mind - just gas.

Submariner said...

Tonight on "Match Game 08"...

Submariner said...

Hey, Barry; sniff these and see if you can guess where they've been!?!

Submariner said...

Uh, Joe? You need both a forefinger and a THUMB for your forehead. Thanks for playing.

Army of Mom said...

JAZ HANDS: UR DOIN IT RONG

Army of Mom said...

Mork calling Orson.

Nano-nano.

Army of Mom said...

Biden tries a Bob Dole gimmick grasping his pen in an effort to appeal to the right-thinking (pun intended) voters.

Army of Mom said...

ORA:
Where will you be when your laxative kicks in?

Army of Dad said...

So you have a hot running mate, whoopty freaking do.

Army of Mom said...

Biden in his best Cartman voice: Screw you guys. I'm going home.

Army of Dad said...

"Disco" Joe Biden shows off his moves.

Army of Mom said...

LOVE BOAT ISAAC: UR DOIN IT RONG!

Army of Dad said...

Nose pickers ready sir!

Army of Dad said...

Joe, it's two thumbs up.

Army of Dad said...

Um, Joe when Eminem said to put one finger on each hand up, he didn't mean those fingers.

Army of Dad said...

"I have another idea I stole"

mega said...

As Biden demonstrated the obsolete and much-maligned index-finger-pointing maneuver from the '70s, he couldn't help but smile. Fact is, the curled-in index finger method sucked all the joy out of politics, and old timers like Biden remembered fondly the days when you could let that finger muscle strrrreetcccchhhhh to make your point. Mmmmmmmmm. The olden days.

mega said...

Biden the gasbag explains to reporters how huge his member gets every time he's near Palin. Apparently something about "liking' her personally, even though she's wrong on the issues, or some other Bidenistic shit.

mega said...

Biden's screen-test for "Dances With Wolves" had gone badly, except for the 'Tatankah' scene, which all agreed he had carried off with great charm and ebullience.

Kaptain Krude said...

"Can I make a creepy pedophile smile? Yes I can!"

Army of Mom said...

Proof that Biden has an anal probe and is under alien control.

I love to singa about the moona and the junea and the springa. I love love to singa about a sky of blue or me for you ....

Whacko said...

Not to be outdone by Michelle, Joe shows off his cool dance move (that's right, he only has one) on Ellen Degenerate.