Friday, September 12, 2008

Ummm.... Yeah



1. "And your uptight neocon parents wanted a traditional wedding.

2. ♫Penis-man, penis-man, does the things a penis can... ♪

3. "Wait til you see the rest of the cowboy."

4. "Well, off to teach sex ed to kindergartners."*

5. You know, it wasn't my intention to have a Phallic Friday, but now I'm thinking I should put up a picture of Keith Olbermann to complete the dickhead trifecta.

Best of Whacko
Overdosed on V*agra. Looks like he's gone way past the 36 hour "call you doctor" point.

Best of Tim
Katie had originally wished for a politician but figured this was close enough

Best of kg
Billy leaves no doubt which brain he's thinking with.

Best of Jack Reacher
Billy wondered "What if those spam ads for penis enlargement really worked? And what if I went for all of them?"
Billy wonders no more.

Best of Chrees
Pictured: the giant hardon collider that will destroy the world!

Best of sonicfrog
OK. Ha Ha. I get it. Fairies love Cock.

Best of Son Of The Godfather
And a Heimlich-erotica fetish is born.

Best of Jay Guevara
"He's going to the costume party as a journalist."

Best of mega
Tom rolled his eyes. "No matter what sick games we decide to play, the watch stays on. Deal with it."

Best of flyovercountry
This was the last year that the Southeast High School seniors were allowed to write and perform their own musical. Regardless, "Man of La Big Penis" was a huge hit.

Best of Army of Mom
Ike's coming, where's your raincoat?

Best of Rodney Dill
"Ok, I'm uh... pretty sure I need the rain poncho now."

Best of Submariner
...and finally, I'd like to thank the NEA for electing me Union President on the first ballot...



* Not a reference to anyone running for president. How dare you assume such a thing, you bigot!

56 comments:

Tim said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Passionate Conservative said...

Nancy, can you rub my ribs a little faster?

Tim said...

After becoming addicted to cat musk, Billy maintained an active imaginary life!

Tim said...

Ribbed for her pleasure!

Whacko said...

Overdosed on V*agra. Looks like he's gone way past the 36 hour "call you doctor" point.

Tim said...

Katie had originally wished for a politician but figured this was close enough

kg said...

Billy leaves no doubt which brain he's thinking with.

Jack Reacher said...

Billy wondered "What if those spam ads for penis enlargement really worked? And what if I went for all of them?"
Billy wonders no more.

Jack Reacher said...

Former U.S. attorneys, fired by the Bush administration, develop a performance art sketch to dramatize their terminations.

Passionate Conservative said...

"Hey, Nancy, you're sitting on one of my balls..."

sonicfrog said...

...the actress playing the fairy put on a fine performance, showing great skills as a thesbian; however, the guy playing the penis looked a little stiff...

Chrees said...

Pictured: the giant hardon collider that will destroy the world!

sonicfrog said...

OK. Ha Ha. I get it. Fairies love Cock.

Chrees said...

As Nancy said, erections have consequences.

sonicfrog said...

Here is a fine example of Obama's kindergarten sex ed curriculum.

sonicfrog said...

Man, he looks bored. I guess being a penis isn't all it's cracked up to be. Either that, or he's gay.

sonicfrog said...

New to "Caption This", it's "Phallic Phriday"!!!!!

Tim said...

Another tragic case of Gigantism

racerboy said...

I want his job.

sonicfrog said...

Cindy always was a size queen.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Yeah, it's exciting being a dick and all, but cleaning the roof's a bitch."

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Oh Cindy, get yer umbrella... I gotta pee."

Son Of The Godfather said...

Henry would have a tough time trying to explain to Cheryl why he came home smelling like ass.

Son Of The Godfather said...

And a Heimlich-erotica fetish is born.

Submariner said...

Dick wondered if Hope would kiss him goodnight?

Submariner said...

Well, I must say that this is one of the more unique ways I've seen for a UC Berkeley student to spend their trust fund. But the results will be about the same.

Submariner said...

Is it just me or does the penis look like the drummer on the freecreditreport.com commercials?

Submariner said...

Wouldn't Lorena Bobbitt have fun with him?

Submariner said...

Well, you know what they say, Marge: "It takes two hands to handle a Whopper!"

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Not to be outdone by a Japanese entrepreneuress - http://tinyurl.com/boyfriendpillow - French designer Ima La Douchebag rose to the challenge, unveiling, "the other white meat... for really frustrated insomniacs."

A matching condom-shaped pillowcase was recalled following several untimely suffocations. Smug conservative zealots contended it was god's will.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

"Ridden hard and put away wet" takes on a whole new meaning in the Wimpalong Cassidy Dom/Sub suite at the Mustang Ranch.

Anonymous said...

Scene from XXX version of Peter Pan. Tinkerbell always wanted to land on Peter's unit, bow cha cha wow wow!!

Jay Guevara said...

"He's going to the costume party as a journalist."

Son Of The Godfather said...

Carpe Phallus

mega said...

Tom rolled his eyes. "No matter what sick games we decide to play, the watch stays on. Deal with it."

mega said...

Realizing there were, simply, no more fetish combinations possible after this clip, Clips4Sale sadly put up the .wmv and converted itself to a business news portal.

mega said...

The wild party in the Lehman Bros. cafeteria entered its third non-stop day, as the staff awaited the inevitable multi-billion dollar government bailout and their seven-digit severance packages.

Steve O said...

Why do the Dicks in this world always get the pretty girls?

mpur said...

"Chuck, the costume really isn't necessary. We already know you're a giant prick."

mega said...

Can't we just leave Bristol alone? What she chooses to do with a giant human condom is her business.

flyovercountry said...

This was the last year that the Southeast High School seniors were allowed to write and perform their own musical. Regardless, "Man of La Big Penis" was a huge hit.

Army of Mom said...

Tammy thought bubble:
Wow. Pole dancing is a lot different than I thought.

Army of Mom said...

Dude if you think I'm swallowing, you are sadly mistaken.

Army of Mom said...

There is not enough Booty Eaze in the world to even make me consider it.

Army of Mom said...

Hey Dick, didn't anyone tell you this was a costume party?

Army of Mom said...

Ike's coming, where's your raincoat?

Army of Mom said...

With a hot chick wrapped around him, Dick starts thinking of math problems to put off the mess.

Army of Mom said...

*Tammy humming Violent Femmes song and thinking*

Don't shoot shoot shoot that thing at me!

Army of Dad said...

Takes a lot of balls to wear that costume out in public.

Army of Dad said...

At least I am not the only one who has a hot chicks wrapped around me.

Rodney Dill said...

"Ok, I'm uh... pretty sure I need the rain poncho now."

Submariner said...

...and finally, I'd like to thank the NEA for electing me Union President on the first ballot...

Submariner said...

"Look, I'm really happy about the paying gig and all, but what does a bathtub have to do with getting a boner?" Being a method actor was going to cost Billy yet another job.

Submariner said...

Yeah, he's fun at swap-meets and all, but there's always this @ss hole following him around...

sonicfrog said...

The janitor was overheard saying that if she kept rubbing on him like that, that he would rather quit than clean up the inevitable mess that was sure to come.

sonicfrog said...

Ezri Dax's career certainly took a tailspin after her stint on DS9.