Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Twist ... Snap!


1. Caught in the cross-fire of the mountain-biker/rollerblader wars, desperate refugees comfort each other.

2. "If you really feel that way about it, I'll never wear plaid shorts again."

3. "Oh, stop whining. Coordinating the bandanna with these shorts would have looked super gay."

4. "Don't cry babe, someday you'll make the 'Best of' list."

5. "Oh, come on, you can't be that surprised that Clay Aiken is gay."

Best of Rodney Dill
The ennui of the 2008 election cycle sets in.

Best of Passionate Conservative
The campus production of Aliens went well, except for the Bill Paxton impersonation.

Best of Double the U
Give me a large cup of foamy almond flavored latte with whipped cream and a bag of sun flower seeds or this bitch gets it!

Best of Kaptain Krude
"There, there dear. You knew when we got together I looked like Will Ferrell. I know, I know, I look like Van Wilding. Shh, shh, I'll take the bandanna off."

Best of Jack Reacher
Bystanders at the Takei ceremony weep with uncertainty over just who is the "bride."

Best of Submariner
You can stop now. He isn't listening to your Ron Paul speech - he's dead

Best of Dub
With two victims already by his side, Johnny "Super Scot" Wilson puts another unsuspecting person into the sleeper hold.

Best of Army of Dad
Hug FAIL!

Best of mklasing
Before being arrested by the Bicycle Police Force, Loverboy's Mike Reno choked his last 3 fans.

Best of flyovercountry
I know babe, Obama lost and now our hope is gone. I guess we are going to have to get jobs now.

Best of Army of Mom
Mike Modano's post-hockey acting career was sorely lacking quality roles. His role on Heroes as Preppy Gone Bad never really caught on outside the 14-21 female demographics.

36 comments:

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Example of Failure to THIMK(sic): Attempted kidnapping in the middle of LAPD Crowd Control training manoeuvres.

Rodney Dill said...

The ennui of the 2008 election cycle sets in.

Passionate Conservative said...

The campus production of Aliens went well, except for the Bill Paxton impersonation.

Passionate Conservative said...

I know dear. But we have to be strong for your brother, who gave his life defending his right to wear ugly-ass underwear in public.

Double the U said...

Give me a large cup of foamy almond flavored latte with whipped cream and a bag of sun flower seeds or this bitch gets it!

Kaptain Krude said...

"There, there dear. You knew when we got together I looked like Will Ferrell. I know, I know, I look like Van Wilding. Shh, shh, I'll take the bandanna off."

Jack Reacher said...

"It's not a traditional Hemlich maneuver, but I find it effective."

Jack Reacher said...

Bystanders at the Takei ceremony weep with uncertainty over just who is the "bride."

Jack Reacher said...

"Miss, I'm from Chem Lawn, and I want to tell you about what we just sprayed on this lawn. That burning sensation tells you that it's working."

Submariner said...

You can stop now. He isn't listening to your Ron Paul speech - he's dead

Submariner said...

It's ok dear, at least we now know where YOU'LL be when your laxative kicks in...

Dub said...

With two victims already by his side, Johnny "Super Scot" Wilson puts another unsuspecting person into the sleeper hold.

Dub said...

Sleeper Hold....cheaper than roofies.

Dub said...

BUTT SEKS...YOU'RE TOO HIGH!!

Army of Dad said...

Hug FAIL!

Rodney Dill said...

Heimlich Maneuver... Ur Doin it rong.

mklasing said...

Before being arrested by the Bicycle Police Force, Loverboy's Mike Reno choked his last 3 fans.

Dub said...

Its ok...its ok...his wedgie is not as bad as it appears. Look, he's wearing boxers, and those dont get up in there as much.

mpur said...

Oh, the humanity!

flyovercountry said...

I know babe, Obama lost and now our hope is gone. I guess we are going to have to get jobs now.

Cybrludite said...

"Come with me if you want to live!" - Ang Lee's reimagining of "The Terminator" wasn't a big hit with the fans.

flyovercountry said...

Calm down! I know that Governor Palin is speaking over there, and I know those pants make your ass look big, but you still don't look anything like a moose.

flyovercountry said...

I know those cops shouldn't have beat Joe, but he did strip down to his boxers, and even I threw up a little in my throat when I saw that.

Army of Mom said...

Mike Modano's post-hockey acting career was sorely lacking quality roles. His role on Heroes as Preppy Gone Bad never really caught on outside the 14-21 female demographics.

Army of Mom said...

MIKE MODANO HOCKEY FIGHT: UR DOIN IT WRONG

Army of Mom said...

Rita suddenly regretted her three wishes to the genie: 1) a younger Mike Modano 2) his arms wrapped around her and 3) a little ass.

Army of Mom said...

If the apocalypse happened in Berkely.

Army of Mom said...

San Francisco city officials called out their SWAT team when they heard that Sak's was out of Birkenstocks.

Army of Mom said...

What do you mean all the tickets for the Indigo Girls are sold out?

Army of Mom said...

This Axe Body Spray moment brought to you by Vans, keeping hippies smelly for 30 years.

Army of Mom said...

Bobby, *weeping* I just don't understand how we can be pepper sprayed by cops and my hair gets greasy, but yours just *weeping* stays so beautifully.

Army of Mom said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Army of Mom said...

On the next after-school special: Kimberly Williams-Paisley and Mike Modano create Romeo and Juliet on the campus of UC Berkeley.

Army of Mom said...

How to know your boyfriend is a closet homosexual: when he has more product in his hair than you do.

Submariner said...

Christians have the "Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse."
Leftards have the "Thousand Bike Cops of Frisco."

Dub said...

DRY HUMPING...ATTA BOY!






word verification had "fu" in it. is V trying to tell me something??