Monday, September 22, 2008

The Title of This Post Is NOT "Monkey in the Middle"

Juliana

1. "Hi. Since we took over Congress, gas has gone from $2.20 per gallon to $4.00, and unemployment has gone from 4% to 6%. And *you* thought we hadn't accomplished anything."

2. "Hey, no fair, Nancy! Since when do you get exclusive possession of the eye AND the tooth?"

3. The phrase "Nyuck Nyuck Nyuck" comes irresistibly to mind."

4. "So, anyway these two black guys walk into a bar and... oh, crap, there's one of those people behind me, isn't there?"

5. "OK, so we did absolutely nothing to prevent the mortgage meltdown, but we did pass 12 non-binding resolutions against the Iraq War? Shouldn't that count for something?"

Best of Seoulman (R)
She's Hope, I am Change and coming to CBS this Fall we star in the new comedy "Benson's Back"

Best of Double the U
Alright, nobody try anything or the ... ah.. the... THIS one gets it.

Best of Passionate Conservative
Harry Reid's attempts at a Vulcan Neck Pinch were futile.

Best of Jack Reacher
"Just keep your distance, or I'll power on her speech module, and then you'll be sorry."

Best of Jack Reacher
"I'm a pickin'...Damn, doesn't anyone grin any more?"

Best of jj
Reid: Uh, Nancy, that gentleman from the bank is here. He wants to repo the botox.

Best of sonicfrog
Jesus Crap! The Democrats can't even get an oreo right!

Best of Submariner
"...and due to an unfortunate mix up in the Capitol restroom, my Preparation H and Granny Nan's botox were switched..."

Best of prince of leaves
CapThis Old Standby #2306034: ...Then suddenly, the man behind them disjointed his jaw and bit off their heads in one swift, bloodless motion.

Best of mklasing
"Keep it together Nancy, I know he has a gun on your back, but we have to always always always pretend to love black people, so just keep smiling."

Best of Army of Mom
Next on MSNBC: When Harry Met Nancy.

Unfortunately, there is no madcap love story here. It is truly a tragedy.

21 comments:

Seoulman (R) said...

The real American Gothic

Seoulman (R) said...

She's Hope, I am Change and coming to CBS this Fall we star in the new comedy "Benson's Back"

Double the U said...

Alright, nobody try anything or the ... ah.. the... THIS one gets it.

Passionate Conservative said...

Harry Reid's attempts at a Vulcan Neck Pinch were futile.

Passionate Conservative said...

The man standing behind Reid and Pelosi could only think..."Now where did I put my slingshot?"

Jack Reacher said...

"Just keep your distance, or I'll power on her speech module, and then you'll be sorry."

Jack Reacher said...

"I'm a pickin'...Damn, doesn't anyone grin any more?"

Jack Reacher said...

"And so biking to work is a great alternative transportation method. Now, if you'll excuse us, our fleet of armored Suburbans just pulled up."

Jay Guevara said...

"Uh, Nance, just a tip from a friend: ixnay on any more asticplay urgerysay.

(looking over his shoulder)

Oh, and don't use a sunlamp either.

jj said...

Reid: Uh, Nancy, that gentleman from the bank is here. He wants to repo the botox.

sonicfrog said...

Jesus Crap! The Democrats can't even get an oreo right!

flyovercountry said...

Ladies and Gentlemen, this nice man behind us has shown us the error of our ways and we pledge to you that from this day forward, we will only tell the truth and nothing but the truth.
Because of that, we really have nothing to say.

Thank you and drive home safely.

Dub said...

Ladies and Gentlemen, my esteemed colleague and I are pleased to announce to you on this day that as a result of all of our hard work we have finally answered the age old question of "Where the white women at".

Submariner said...

"...and due to an unfortunate mix up in the Capitol restroom, my Preparation H and Granny Nan's botox were switched..."

prince of leaves said...

"Harry...HARRY! For the last time, I'm not your ventriloquist dummy!"

prince of leaves said...

CapThis Old Standby #2306034: ...Then suddenly, the man behind them disjointed his jaw and bit off their heads in one swift, bloodless motion.

robert said...

Man in the middle thought cloud: I can actually feel the IQ points being sucked from the room.

Pelosi thought cloud: Damn, Harry... did you eat cabbage again?

Dingy Harry thought cloud:

Don't worry Nancy, that's not one of the black guys Sandra Bernhardt threatened to send after Palin.

mklasing said...

"Keep it together Nancy, I know he has a gun on your back, but we have to always always always pretend to love black people, so just keep smiling."

mpur said...

Nancy & Harry are escorted to the bus after failing to...well, do pretty much anything they had promised to help Obama win the election.

Submariner said...

The American people collectively; "Something wicked, this way comes..."

Army of Mom said...

Next on MSNBC: When Harry Met Nancy.

Unfortunately, there is no madcap love story here. It is truly a tragedy.