Saturday, September 27, 2008

Time For Some Football


1. "Coach, you're right. That snap was pathetic and I promise to anally rape Jeff until he gets it right."

2. "Hold me closer, tiny linebacker."

3. "You want me to fumble on the three yard line? OK, coach, how much do you owe 'Knuckles' this time?"

4. "But, coach, keeping score is really bad for my self-esteem."

5. "We're going to take them like JP Morgan took WaMu!" Jake hated coaching WASP teams.

Best of prince of leaves
Opposing teams were usually so freaked out about the siamese-twin McKenzie brothers being in the game that they'd forget to complain about the extra man on the field.

Best of prince of leaves
Before he learned to control his supernatural powers, the teenage Zeus would involuntarily spawn off a lesser god or two whenever he found himself in a stressful situation.

Best of Jack Reacher
First Assistant Director Thad McKenzie informs two extras that they're in the wrong costume for the Capital One commercial.

Best of Chrees
Uh, coach...Touchdown Jesus hasn't visited us in the last three games... I'm turning atheist.

Best of Army of Dad
Dang guys you could have told me cargo pants are out before the game.

Best of mega
"Coach, those damn Joggers For Obama are on the field again. They say they won't leave until we agree the team with the most minorities wins."

13 comments:

prince of leaves said...

Opposing teams were usually so freaked out about the siamese-twin McKenzie brothers being in the game that they'd forget to complain about the extra man on the field.

prince of leaves said...

Before he learned to control his supernatural powers, the teenage Zeus would involuntarily spawn off a lesser god or two whenever he found himself in a stressful situation.

Jack Reacher said...

First Assistant Director Thad McKenzie informs two extras that they're in the wrong costume for the Capital One commercial.

Achilles said...

Coach Cleat's inspirational speeches always began in "In my day, we didn't wear gloves on the field like pussies..." and inevitably ended with a rant about the burning hemorrhoids on his ass.

Chrees said...

Uh, coach...Touchdown Jesus hasn't visited us in the last three games... I'm turning atheist.

Army of Dad said...

Dang guys you could have told me cargo pants are out before the game.

Army of Dad said...

If you say you are an 'OG' while pointing to your pants one more time you are going to be riding the damn bench!

Submariner said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Submariner said...

C'mon Coach, we couldn't tackle our way out of a plathtic bag. Shouldn't you thend uth to the showers right thith very thecond?

Silhouette said...

Three years ago, we were the Warriors, but they told us that was racist. Then, we were the Generals, but they said that was warmongering. Last year, we were the Crusaders, and they went apeshit.

So this year, we're the Global Warming Greenies.

mega said...

"Coach, those damn Joggers For Obama are on the field again. They say they won't leave until we agree the team with the most minorities wins."

Dub said...

G SPOT...UR OFF A LITTLE BIT

Dub said...

Am I the only one who notices the marking on the field, that would appear to say they're on the 55 yard line at "mid" field??