1. Smack-Smack, the world's first panda crackwhore.
2. "There, this shipment of embryonic panda stem cells should keep Nancy Pelosi alive for another week."
3. "There, this injection of panda urine will... so, sorry, why exactly does Andrew Sullivan take injections of panda urine?"
4. The People's Republic of China... the modern, thriving nation where elite wildlife biologists wear plastic flip-flops.
5. A Chinese, caught right in the middle of playing joke.
Best of Dub
PANDA BEAR REACH AROUND....UR DOIN IT...WELL, I DONT KNOW...I GUESS THAT LOOKS LIKE HOW I'D IMAGINE IT...NOT THAT I'VE THOUGHT ABOUT IT....MUCH.
Best of Passionate Conservative
And now a scene from SAW V: Beijing.
Best of The Man
In Russian Emnuclaw, animals have sex with you.
Best of Whacko
Just two more injections, some phony documents, and the panda will be ready for the 2012 Olympic women's gymnastics competition.
Best of Double the U
Thanks Bob, this is the only way to get panda semen, you are being a real sport about the whole thing.
Best of Submariner
The "Chinese Michael Jackson" had slightly different urges and gave all of his "Mao Juice" to a different toddler group.
Best of Silhouette
Wang, your company drug test came back clean for pot, heroin, or coke. But corporate is real concerned about how much bamboo you seem to be eating.
Best of flyovercountry
The very moment Jackie Chan decided on a movie career.