Monday, September 15, 2008
An "Outstanding" Mayor
1. “Dear Henry, last night with you was bliss. I fear my . . . orgasm has left me a cripple. I don’t know how I shall ever get back to work."
2. I CAN HAS PARDUN PREZZIDUNT OBOMMA?
3. "And in conclusion, your honor, I'd like to thank the American news media for burying this story and my party affiliation."
4. "Mama's little baby loves shortnin' shortnin'. Mama's little baby loves shortnin' bread."
5. "I plead 'Not Guilty by Reason of White Folks Bein' All Up in Mah Shizzle'"
Best of Dr. Hardcrab
"...and then his hand dropped down to the buttons of her lacey blouse that haltered her ample, waiting bossom....."
Best of The Man
Judge, I did not steal your grandmother's couch to make this suit.
Best of Jack Reacher
Kill mah landlord,
Kill mah landlord...
Best of Rodney Dill
"They're right Kwame, That suit does warrant a seventh Felony charge."
Best of Jay Guevara
"You're right, Kwame, it is a big goddamned word. Now just sound it out."
Best of Submariner
Kwame: Shit man, that honky mus' be messin' my old lady... got to be runnin' cold upside down his head. You know?
Hakeem: Hey home, I can dig it. You know he ain't gonna lay no mo' big rap up on you man.
Kwame: I say hey sky, s'other s'ay I wan say?
Kwame: Pray to J I get the same ol' same ol'.
Hakeem: Eh. Yo knock yourself a pro slick, gray matter live performas down now take TCB'in man.
Kwame: Hey, you know what they say... See a broad, to get that booty yak 'em.
Hakeem: Leg 'er down 'n smack 'em yak 'em
Kwame: Cold got to be. You know? Shiiiiit.
Best of mpur
Sound it out, Kwame. Guh, guh..it's a hard G. Now, ill..good. Now T. That's right, Kwame, Guh-ill-t. Guilty. Good job!
Best of Adjustah
"Gee, kids, I don't know how Fat Albert and Weird Harold are gonna get outta' this one..."