1. "I can't believe Denny's took an hour and a half to seat us."
2. "Yeah, Mrs. Biden and I used to come here all the time when it was a Samb... um, when it used to have a different name."
3. "Are you enjoying your arugula, foie gras, and toast corners, Senator Obama?"
4. Michelle Obama was so pleased with the service, she was briefly proud of her country.
5. "OK, Barry, Michelle, let me explain why 4% is not a 'generous' tip."
Best of jj
No Barry, these are not alfalfa sprouts, they are hair plugs.
Best of Chrees
Damn it Joe, will you let me finish my waffle?!?
Best of Dub
See, I told you guys I would make a great Waffle House Organizer.
Best of flyovercountry
Joe, that is a fascinating story, tell us again about how you were once trapped in the senate restroom for 5 minutes.
Best of mega
As Biden's monologue entered its third hour, Michelle thought "I will never say 'how's it going Joe?" again.
Best of Jack Reacher
"Actually, Barry, they're called waitresses, or severs. You're not supposed to say 'Hey, Servant!'"
Best of prince of leaves
"You miserable bitch, you ruined my life! Er, I mean, couldja pass the syrup, honey?" Barry and Michelle froze in mid-bite, caught off-guard by Joe's latest gaffe.
Best of Rodney Dill
"I don't know why you let Hillary drive for you... She never could park right."
Best of lawhawk
Okay, for this caper, we're all going to have names. You're going to be Mr. Brown. You are Mr. Pink. And over there, that's Mr. Blue and I'm Joe.
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
The morning after the previous night's orgiastic on-stage display of french kissing & groping, an awkward silence envelopes both couples... nervously awaiting results of hastily ordered STD tests.