1. "Dammit, I don't care if you are a Kennedy. A restraining order is a restraining order. Back. The. Hell. Off."2. "If I find the bastard who tied this crap to my head, I'll rip his nuts off!"
3. "I got your party unity right here, Senator Arugula!"
4. A rare case of Pre-Pre-Pre-Pre-Pre-Pre-Pre- Menstrual Syndrome.
5. By the age of five, everyone knew little Jeannie was destined to work at the DMV.
Very brady Best of ochagirl
THIS! IS! KINDERSPARTAAAAAAN!
Very Brady Best of Rodney Dill
"Well, I have a bracelet too!"
Best of Jack Reacher
Soccer games involving the children of Postal employees were always the most exciting.
Best of prince of leaves
Thanks to Makenzye's hair-trigger temper and emerging telekinetic abilities, the Parks Department would spend over a quarter-million dollars each season on replacing blown out floodlights at the youth soccer fields.
Best of mega
Michelle Obama, 1970: "Get the F*** off me, F**** honky b***tch before I kill you. I hate you! And my country too!"
Best of robert
Stop calling me "daddy's little princess", goddammit!
Best of Army of Dad
B!tch stole my ball!
Best of Todd
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!!! GOAL!!!!
Best of jj
A young Nancy Pelosi lets everyone know that they will have the most ethical soccer team ever.
41 comments:
Punctuated Evolution - Turns out that Title IX is the trigger behind the sudden rise in hypertestosterone aggression disorder.
Erratum - shoulda been "punctuated equilibrium" (it's too early on a Saturday)
Little Gwynneth displays a trait required of all Jr. Charter Members of Future Doms of America - choler
-or-
You Won't Be An Orphan For Long!The updated Annie calls for an angry little girl who can belt out, "He TOUCHED Me!" and make an audience believe Daddy Warbucks is a perv.
Word Verify - gzxlut (!)
"Well, I have a bracelet too!"
Soccer games involving the children of Postal employees were always the most exciting.
During a break in play, little Jeannie notices her boyfriend Chung sitting between the legs of a model, and seriously blows a gasket.
Thanks to Makenzye's hair-trigger temper and emerging telekinetic abilities, the Parks Department would spend over a quarter-million dollars each season on replacing blown out floodlights at the youth soccer fields.
As little Makenzye's rage issues emerged, her parents would come to regret sending her to that Junior Krav Maga class.
"Aggressive? You wanna see aggressive? Get your fat, Explorer-driving, burrito-eating, postman-shtupping, Obama-voting ass out here and I'll SHOW you aggressive, Mommy!"
Michelle Obama, 1970: "Get the F*** off me, F**** honky b***tch before I kill you. I hate you! And my country too!"
As we step back in time, we see a very young Joy Behr expressing her opinion to a soccer game referee, right before she was banned for life.
Even then, people knew she was destined to end up associated with other disturbed people on a show like "The View".
Little Hillary wishes the rest of her team into the cornfield but is upset that its the last time she can use the power. Funny enough she makes the same face years later at a presidential debate.
"Yeah, you better run!"
"You red carded ME? I'll give you a reason to red card me, you son of a b***h!"
Stop calling me "daddy's little princess", goddammit!
A young Army of Mom practices yelling at the officials. Her technique has been perfected during Sunday afternoon Cowboys games.
Little Piper: Stop saying those mean things about my mommy or you'll be wearing my tiara where the sun doesn't shine!
Those things Alcee Hastings said we'll do to Jews and Blacks? Kick my shin again, kid, and I'll show you ...
Is the game over yet? I want my post-game Oreos and Sunny D NOW!
Listen, Ref. Those are legs, not roots. Now get off your duff and keep up with the action!
Daddy, I'd like to see you in this get up trying to run after the ball. Now shut up unless you'd like to get out here!
For the last time, we're not the Ladybugs, we're the Scorpions! And we're not cute! Shut up or I'm yanking out your vocal chords!
For the last time, I did not foul Carlos Ruiz. It was a dive! 10.0 from the Honduran judge. Give me a break, ref!
Next time I kick her in the nuts!
(soccer players unclear on certain concepts... or at least off on their timing)
I got your potty power right here!
(With 3 kids in soccer, I've heard it plenty of times):
"MOM!!! YOU'RE EMBARRASSING ME!!!!"
I said I wanted to do ballet!
B!tch stole my ball!
I CAN HAZ FRE KICK?!
Playing just for fun, FAIL.
I said I wanted PINK uniforms!
MSNBC digs deep for the next Palin "scandal,": once pitched a fit in AYSO.
RON PAUL!!
Rodney says:
"Well, I have a bracelet too!
Well played, sir! Awesome.
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!!! GOAL!!!!
Little girl yelling,
Come on you second graders, you call that physical? I got a kindergarten little sister can hit harder than that. I wanna see snot fly out of these wussies when you hit them. I wanna see some smash mouth second grade soccer out here.
A young Nancy Pelosi lets everyone know that they will have the most ethical soccer team ever.
Army Of Daughter is also on the Dub Hate Parade.
"What do you mean Dub thinks my mommy has fat thighs? Crap, that's genetic!!"
DAMBIT! Hope & Change stole the frakkin' ball again!
THIS! IS! KINDERSPARTAAAAAAN!
*is unfashionably late and just unfashionable*
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