1. "Dammit, I don't care if you are a Kennedy. A restraining order is a restraining order. Back. The. Hell. Off."
2. "If I find the bastard who tied this crap to my head, I'll rip his nuts off!"
3. "I got your party unity right here, Senator Arugula!"
4. A rare case of Pre-Pre-Pre-Pre-Pre-Pre-Pre- Menstrual Syndrome.
5. By the age of five, everyone knew little Jeannie was destined to work at the DMV.
Very brady Best of ochagirl
THIS! IS! KINDERSPARTAAAAAAN!
Very Brady Best of Rodney Dill
"Well, I have a bracelet too!"
Best of Jack Reacher
Soccer games involving the children of Postal employees were always the most exciting.
Best of prince of leaves
Thanks to Makenzye's hair-trigger temper and emerging telekinetic abilities, the Parks Department would spend over a quarter-million dollars each season on replacing blown out floodlights at the youth soccer fields.
Best of mega
Michelle Obama, 1970: "Get the F*** off me, F**** honky b***tch before I kill you. I hate you! And my country too!"
Best of robert
Stop calling me "daddy's little princess", goddammit!
Best of Army of Dad
B!tch stole my ball!
Best of Todd
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!!! GOAL!!!!
Best of jj
A young Nancy Pelosi lets everyone know that they will have the most ethical soccer team ever.