Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Cleaning Out My Closet


1. "All Hail K! All Hail K! Oh, K, can you see..."

2. Just practicing. On November 5, this will be a gas oven with the pilot light out.

3. "Look! Dirt!" The MSM searches Sarah Palin's junior high locker.

4. "Nope, Narnia's not in this one, either."

5. "Hey, is it true the new school janitor used to be on TV? You know, Mr. Eads?"

Best of Passionate Conservative
Welcome to the world's smallest Crystal Meth lab.

Best of Jack Reacher
"I knew it! He traded his store-brand pastries for Pop Tarts! That little bastard."

Best of sonicfrog
Jimmy's so whacked out on meth, he thinks his locker is a vagina.

Best of The Man
Stephen King's latest attempt to appeal to the tween market centers around a relationship between a boy and his locker, until the locker eats him.

Best of flyovercountry
I wish the PD could afford a real drug sniffing K9. This is getting old.

Best of flyovercountry
Let me see, yeah, I think I could live in here if Pelosi keeps screwing up.

Best of mega
As the Black Hole sucked in its 400th victim head-first, the media continued to insist it was a, quote, "totally harmless French science experiment".

Best of mklasing
In 2010, the last white man desperately looks for "hope and change" before being summarily executed by Michelle Obama.

Best of prince of leaves
Jimmy was expelled after the campus cops caught him running an illegal orthodontics clinic between classes.

Best of Dactyl
Ok, I got the fake teeth, the urine sample, the toy microscope and the colostomy bag, now all I need is a sweat sock and some rat poo and I win the scavenger hunt!

Best of Rodney Dill
BUELLER!!!

Best of Double the U
Oh look, another one!

Best of Army of Dad
The Metaphor Council presents: An Obama Presidency.

Best of Army of Dad
Billy was so happy that the nice principle told him he could keep any gum he found!

29 comments:

Passionate Conservative said...

Welcome to the world's smallest Crystal Meth lab.

Passionate Conservative said...

I know he's got that Playboy somewhere in here.

Passionate Conservative said...

Now that's wasted! The question is, does beer puke clean up in a locker?

Jack Reacher said...

"I knew it! He traded his store-brand pastries for Pop Tarts! That little bastard."

sonicfrog said...

Dammit! I know my shoes are in here somewhere....

sonicfrog said...

Jimmy's so whacked out on meth, he thinks his locker is a vagina.

Dub said...

Just another Democrat burying his head and pretending things are just great.

The Man said...

Stephen King's latest attempt to appeal to the tween market centers around a relationship between a boy and his locker, until the locker eats him.

The Man said...

nom...nom...nom...

flyovercountry said...

I wish the PD could afford a real drug sniffing K9. This is getting old.

flyovercountry said...

Let me see, yeah, I think I could live in here if Pelosi keeps screwing up.

mega said...

As the Black Hole sucked in its 400th victim head-first, the media continued to insist it was a, quote, "totally harmless French science experiment".

mklasing said...

In 2010, the last white man desperately looks for "hope and change" before being summarily executed by Michelle Obama.

prince of leaves said...

Jimmy was expelled after the campus cops caught him running an illegal orthodontics clinic between classes.

prince of leavew said...

Jimmy's unusual interest in custom-fit dental dams got a little out of hand after his Illinois-mandated kindergarten sex ed classes, but by high school he had turned it into a side business that eventually paid for dental college.

Jay Guevara said...

"Eurrrrrrope!"

mega said...

After six minutes of watchng Ashton clean lockers, the Microsoft Windows logo finally dissolved in on the screen, and the agony was over. Another $50 million down the tubes.

Dactyl said...

Ok, I got the fake teeth, the urine sample, the toy microscope and the colostomy bag, now all I need is a sweat sock and some rat poo and I win the scavenger hunt!

Jay Guevara said...

"I'm looking in here, Barney, but what's supposed to happen? Mr. Frank? OH, Mr. Frank!"

Rodney Dill said...

BUELLER!!!

Double the U said...

Oh look, another one!

Jack Reacher said...

Sully's remake of High School Confidential, naturally enough, featured a lot of scenes like this one.

Army of Dad said...

Feed me Seymour!

Army of Dad said...

The Metaphore Council presents: An Obama Presidency.

wv: icjktocj

Army of Dad said...

GLORY HOL UR DOING IT WRONG!

Army of Dad said...

Billy was so happy that the nice principle told him he could keep any gum he found!

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Pelosi was forcefully "sequestered" in an unnamed school locker after her partisan diatribe, setting off a national scavenger hunt. Seth's excited "Eureka!" echoes with the discovery of what appears to be her dentures.

Army of Dad said...

Public education might be getting over funded since it looks like that now have in locker hot tubs and "Spa Maintenence Specialists" to maintian them.

Kaptain Krude said...

"...oh, they'll pay. You'll see, they will all pay. Yes, my precious, they'll all pay. Looking down their oh-so-precious noses at me, too good for me, that's what they think they are. But they will pay, yes, you just wait. I'll scrub and scrub for them, but just you wait. They'll pay..."