Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Biden: For Those Who Think Young. Really Young.

Johann Sebastian Schneider

1. "Dammit! This isn't the sexbot I ordered, it's Gary Glitter's!"

2. "Sarah Palin, I've been sent from the future to kill you." The Bidenator failed when eight year old Sarah Palin whipped out her moose rifle and nailed him right in the central processor.

3. "Little girl, do you know when you grow up, get married, raise a family. grow old, and eventually die ... I'll still be in the United States senate?"

4. "So, anyway, the rash should clear up in about two weeks, and it should stop hurting when you pee around then. Oh, and here's a nice credit card from my friends at MBNA for being such a good sport about this."

5. "I'd get used to my basement dungeon, honey. All the milk cartons have pictures of SOTG on them, so it's gonna be a while before they get around to you. Now, put the lotion on your skin."

Best of Passionate Conservative
So, you'll let me copy your essay on Timmy's Pony, and I'll use it in a speech, OK? What do you mean you want five dollars for the essay? Dammit, I can get an essay from Neil Kinnock for nothing!

Best of Whacko
"Look, sweetie, I just want a little of your hair for some plugs. It'll only take a minute and won't hurt a bit."

Best of sonicfrog
Biden may actually have the higher IQ in this case.... maybe.

Best of Chrees
I know the internet hasn't been invented by Al Gore yet, but I think I'll call you LonelyGirl07

Best of Jack Reacher
Nice, making fun of a pathetic political hack, implying perverted motives, when all he really wants is her hair. Read his (plagiarized) story. Educate yourselves. Morons.

Best of prince of leaves
Real nice. Using a perfectly innocent situation to imply that a vice presidential candidate is somehow involved in a sordid sex scandal. You'd never catch *Democrat* blogger doing something as sleazy as...oh wait...

Best of prince of leaves
Until the pictures from Biden's 1973 Alaska junket surfaced and Palin's "bad touch" memories came flooding back, everyone would naturally assumed McCain to be the candidate most likely to go on a PTSD-flashback-induced shooting rampage.

Best of Double the U
To get ready for the debates, Biden decided to start with a girl from the third grade and work his way up to Sarah Palin.

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Art Linkletter Show archival footage - first of many recorded encounters where Joe is told, "HEY jerk, my eyes are up here!"

23 comments:

Passionate Conservative said...

So, you'll let me copy your essay on Timmy's Pony, and I'll use it in a speech, OK? What do you mean you want five dollars for the essay? Dammit, I can get an essay from Neil Kinnock for nothing!

Passionate Conservative said...

"I'd like to deliver some health care to her," thought Senator Biden.

Passionate Conservative said...

Hey, baby, wanna go roll in the hay with the next Vice President?

Passionate Conservative said...

Joe Biden-putting the "Vice" back in "Vice President."

Whacko said...

"Look, sweetie, I just want a little of your hair for some plugs. It'll only take a minute and won't hurt a bit."

The Man said...

It was unfortunate that Biden chose to plagiarize VtheK's identity in his run for office.

sonicfrog said...

Biden may actually have the higher IQ in this case.... maybe.

Chrees said...

I know the internet hasn't been invented by Al Gore yet, but I think I'll call you LonelyGirl07

Passionate Conservative said...

"Gawddammit," thought Biden, "I thought I had called NAMBLA for a takeout order."

Jack Reacher said...

Nice, making fun of a pathetic political hack, implying perverted motives, when all he really wants is her hair. Read his (plagiarized) story. Educate yourselves. Morons.

prince of leave said...

In a strange twist on fiction, a past Joe Biden sends the CIA's first fully-transistorized infiltrator fembot prototype into the future to terminate Sarah Palin.

prince of leaves said...

Real nice. Using a perfectly innocent situation to imply that a vice presidential candidate is somehow involved in a sordid sex scandal. You'd never catch *Democrat* bloggers doing something as sleazy as...oh wait...

prince of leaves said...

Until the pictures from Biden's 1973 Alaska junket surfaced and Palin's "bad touch" memories came flooding back, everyone would naturally assumed McCain to be the candidate most likely to go on a PTSD-flashback-induced shooting rampage.

prince of leaves said...

As a newly-elected Senator, Joe was a bit wary and unsure of himself the first time he was invited to one of Ted Kennedy's "Boston Key Parties".

Double the U said...

To get ready for the debates, Biden decided to start with a girl from the third grade before he could ever take on Sarah Palin.

Submariner said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Submariner said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Submariner said...

V. the K. said...
3. "Little girl, do you know when you grow up, get married, raise a family. grow old, and eventually die ... I'll still be in the United States senate?"

...and drawing my paycheck from the "death tax" me and my Democrat Party colleagues will have foisted on your estate?


Note to self - have a cuppa before posting. Sheesh!

Submariner said...

I know a guy named Dub that'll think you've got a PERFECT build!

Submariner said...

Sorry Sen. Biden; I only go for guys that "Glitter."

duke of red said...

Yep, that's where the boobies will be... RIGHT there... Mmmmm

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Art Linkletter Show archival footage - first of many recorded encounters where Joe is told, "HEY jerk, my eyes are up here!" His pat excuse... "I was bottle-fed."

Jay Guevara said...

Thought bubble: "I'd hit that."