1. Frank was such a hardcore pedophile, he went after them while they were still in the womb.
2. Conversions to the Mormon Church jumped 20% after an ad campaign highlighted the alternative lifestyle.
3. "My Disability SSI goes up $50 per month if our kid has Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. Another gin and tonic, please."
4. On the left, Sh-ts. On the right, Giggles.
5. Lamaze classes... trailer park version.
Best of Submariner
Normally I consider a pregnant woman to be among the most beautiful creatures God put on Earth.
Best of Jack Reacher
Knowing that a smaller baby will reduce stretch marks, Beth strives toward that goal with nightly infusions of alcohol and tobacco.
Best of Dub
Is that a belt on the table, or one of her stirrups?
Best of Passionate Conservative
That's right. Keep on breeding. I can feel the collective IQ of the country dropping, even as we speak.
Best of mega
The shotgun wedding now complete, Tom wondered how one little visit to Match.com could have led to such a total nightmare.
Best of flyovercountry
Pregnant lady thought bubble. Wait a minute, isn't this how I got this way in the first place?