Friday, September 26, 2008

Arrgh! My Eyes!

geomatic 1
1. Frank was such a hardcore pedophile, he went after them while they were still in the womb.

2. Conversions to the Mormon Church jumped 20% after an ad campaign highlighted the alternative lifestyle.

3. "My Disability SSI goes up $50 per month if our kid has Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. Another gin and tonic, please."

4. On the left, Sh-ts. On the right, Giggles.

5. Lamaze classes... trailer park version.

Best of Submariner
Normally I consider a pregnant woman to be among the most beautiful creatures God put on Earth.
Normally...

Best of Jack Reacher
Knowing that a smaller baby will reduce stretch marks, Beth strives toward that goal with nightly infusions of alcohol and tobacco.

Best of Dub
Is that a belt on the table, or one of her stirrups?

Best of Passionate Conservative
That's right. Keep on breeding. I can feel the collective IQ of the country dropping, even as we speak.

Best of mega
The shotgun wedding now complete, Tom wondered how one little visit to Match.com could have led to such a total nightmare.

Best of flyovercountry
Pregnant lady thought bubble. Wait a minute, isn't this how I got this way in the first place?

38 comments:

Submariner said...

LAP DANZ - UR DOIN IT RONG!

Submariner said...

Normally I consider a pregnant woman to be among the most beautiful creatures God put on Earth.
Normally...

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Those new All-You-Can-Eat dinners at Denny's are so popular, even women are unzipping their pants and taking off their belts.

-OR-

The Ron Popeil mailorder weight loss alternative to the LAP-BAND® System. You're doing it wrong!

Jack Reacher said...

Knowing that a smaller baby will reduce stretch marks, Beth strives toward that goal with nightly infusions of alcohol and tobacco.

sonicfrog said...

More unearthed pictures prove Sarah Palin WAS pregnant with Trig

Dub said...

I CAN HAS EYE BLEECH?

sonicfrog said...

Come on V, this hurts!

Worst. Phallic. Phriday. EVER!!!!

Dub said...

SEXY THUZDAY....NO AOM, THIS "WOMAN" DOEZ NOT QWALIFY.

Dub said...

In Matamoros, if you're even 5 minutes late to the show you'll miss the great "Guess where I'm hiding my beers" game. Next up, Ping Pong Ball Fun, followed by the coveted donkey show.

Dub said...

Is that a belt on the table, or one of her stirrups?

Dub said...

I TOLD YOU PEOPLE THIS WAS GONNA HAPPEN WHEN SHE TOOK THAT FRUMPY SWEATER OFF!!!!

Dub said...

This week, on "Where Are They Now"...its "Say Goodbye to Summer" girl after a few bad years.

mpur said...

Mark was a good sport and played along, but secretly he was pissed that his "best friends" thought it would be funny to have his fiancee as the bachelor party stripper.

Anonymous said...

What happens in P.I., stays in P.I.

Passionate Conservative said...

Um, them beer goggles are on too tight, dude.

Passionate Conservative said...

Rosie Perez, the later years.

Army of Dad said...

This is how Dub sees all women above 100 pounds.

We dub this, Dub Vision Fridays.

Passionate Conservative said...

That's right. Keep on breeding. I can feel the collective IQ of the country dropping, even as we speak.

Passionate Conservative said...

OK we had the "summer" girl, the "fall" girl, what the f is this, the "I got drunk and knocked up" girl?

Passionate Conservative said...

White panties, black bra? You BITCH!

flyovercountry said...

Next on Newswatch 10, A baby shower goes very wrong.

Graphic content warning.

Chewman said...

What you see at a gay bar on ameture nite. Thats a beer gut not a baby!

Dub said...

You guys are so cruel. I think AOM's smile is radiant in that picture. But what's with AOD's pose??



(note, I've not specified which is which)

Carpe Phlogiston said...

This comes straight from Katie Couric's email account:
"Boys, that's called Line Dancing in Moose Country"

Army of Mom said...

Dub - you wish you could see me in my bra and panties.

Nice. Really nice.

Army of Dad said...

Yeah you got us dub, didn't realize you would recognize us from the mail order bride annual ball.

Army of Dad said...

'Course we left once we realized what the event was. I guess this is what your kind does when the hour gets late.

Dub said...

Army of Mom said...
Dub - you wish you could see me in my bra and panties.



*goes to your blog to see if that photo is published yet*

Submariner said...

Army of Mom said...
Dub - you wish you could see me in my bra and panties.


With advance apologies to AoD-
I, for one, would rather see you OUT of your bra and panties...

Army of Dad said...

No worries subby, I know you are cherrfully playing around.

Passionate Conservative said...

Lemme guess, it's not Thursday anymore, is it?

Chrees said...

Chewman, the proper term is "gunt"

Submariner said...

MUFFIN TOP; UR DOIN IT PERTY WELL AKTULLY

mega said...

The shotgun wedding now complete, Tom wondered how one little visit to Match.com could have led to such a total nightmare.

prince of leaves said...

Exxxotica's private Club Room is proud to offer strippers thematically appropriate to shotgun wedding bachelor parties.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Bait & Switch? Caveat Emptor
IslanderXXX.net's album of smiling, nubile nymphettes so distracted Zeke that he'd ignored a cereal box disclaimer on the SUBMIT NONrefundable Deposit NOW page: "Contents may have settled."

Kaptain Krude said...

Sully fumed, "I've got that exact outfit! And the same sizes, too!"

flyovercountry said...

Pregnant lady thought bubble.

Wait a minute, isn't this how I got this way in the first place?