Friday, August 15, 2008

Welcome to the AoS Lifestyle

Brender

1. A Former U.S. Attorney fired by the Bush Administration, hits rock-bottom. Later, he will be murdered by ace.

2. "I'm hungover, and I'm lying in a pool of effluent... from here, a McCain presidency looks pretty good."

3. Oh, hi Dad.

4. Unlike most liberal celebrities, Bea Arthur followed through on her threat to move to Italy if McCain won.

5. Opening a Bud produces a rather different sensation than biting into a York Peppermint patty.


Best of Rodney Dill
You go to the Boardwalk with the beer you have, not the beer you wish to have or will have at a later time...

Best of Double the U
Old Bob still has it, fell off a dock and didn't spill a drop of beer.

Best of Passionate Conservative
If I sit in the water while I drink, no one can tell when I piss myself.

Best of sonicfrog
Roger Daltrey has really let himself go.

Best of Jack Reacher
All in all, dating Heidi Fleiss probably wasn't the best thing that happened to Tom Sizemore.

Best of andthenblammo!
"I'm pretty sure I've got everything I need for a great boating weekend, but I just can't shake a nagging feeling that I've forgotten something............"

Best of mpur
EuroDisney's Pirates of the Caribbean attraction was decidedly less animated than the American version.

Best of curly
Even the mermaids are ugly and dysfunctional in the Boston Harbor.

Best of Submariner
Apparently, Quentin Taratino is remaking "The Incredible Mr. Limpet."

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
The nightmare's always the same - just before Laura finds him huddled in a corner, sucking on an empty, wrapped up in the Mission Accomplished banner with his pants soaking wet - The Shrub's imagining himself a Katrina victim.

Best of Adjustah
Scarred irrevocably by the sight of Simon Le Bon fondling his grapes, Antione retired to Venice to simply drink those brain cells away in peace and quiet.

55 comments:

Rodney Dill said...

You go to the Boardwalk with the beer you have, not the beer you wish to have or will have at a later time... -- Rumsy

Submariner said...

Giuseppe's career as a gondoleer didn't advance quite as fast as expected, but he was sure business would pick up once he bought a boat.

Submariner said...

Dub prepares for another round of "critique that babe" on Cap This!

Submariner said...

The one role to which even Paul Newman couldn't bring an element of class.

Submariner said...

...and once Gavin could handle the long neck, he graduated to podium mics.

Double the U said...

Old Bob still has it, fell off a dock and didn't spill a drop of beer.

Passionate Conservative said...

While the purchase of Anheuser-Busch by InBev may be good for the company, the Marketing Department still needs to improve their advertising campaigns.

kam582 said...

Rain? What rain?

kam582 said...

Mike Phelps thinks he can swim? Does he live in the water like me? I coulda been a contender.

Passionate Conservative said...

If I sit in the water while I drink, no one can tell when I piss myself.

sonicfrog said...

Roger Daltrey has really let himself go.

sonicfrog said...

Variety reports that filming continues on the Hemmingway sequel "Old Man In The Sea".

Silhouette said...

The first post-Katrina Mardi Gras was a bit damp, but no one let that stop them.

Kaptain Krude said...

"Just sitting by the dock of the bay,
Watching the ti-ide roll away,
sittin' in my easy chair,
then I go and float over the-ere,
Sittin' by the dock of the bay,
It's 'getting wasted' ti-ime.
*burp*"

GregMan said...

"Damn global warming. This used to be the gutter. Now it's the lake."

GregMan said...

John Edwards finds a new patsy to take the blame for his love child.

Submariner said...

Quinn the Eskimo gives up his dogsled for more enjoyable pursuits.

Van Helsing said...

Creditors took his gondola, but once he's put away enough Buds, he'll be able to take tourists for a ride on his belly.

Jack Reacher said...

The effects of Michael Moore's cannonball dive into the pool were felt some distance away.

Jack Reacher said...

All in all, dating Heidi Fleiss probably wasn't the best thing that happened to Tom Sizemore.

Dub said...

River mud meets Bud-mud.

andthenblammo! said...

"I'm pretty sure I've got everything I need for a great boating weekend, but I just can't shake a nagging feeling that I've forgotten something............"

mpur said...

EuroDisney's Pirates of the Caribbean attraction was decidedly less animated than the American version.


VR: zssbrrt (French beer belch)

Chrees said...

Dan, "drinks like a fish" is a metaphor...

Chrees said...

Awwwww, mama, can this really be the end? To be stuck inside of Venice with the Memphis blues again...

Submariner said...

Thanks to rigor mortis, we don't really need CSI to figure out what George Eads was doing when he died.

Submariner said...

John F'n Kerry's post-2004 career was the stuff of washed-up politician legend.

Submariner said...

Grazie, eHarmony.

curly said...

“Thanks for the lift, Senator Kennedy!”

curly said...

♪ How dry I am ♫

curly said...

Subby thought bubble: “Sure, Rosie O’Donnell’s wet enough, but am I drunk enough?”

curly said...

Oliver Stone’s “Flipper's New Adventure” spends more time blaming society’s ills on George Bush than it does on the remarkable Dolphin.

curly said...

Even the mermaids are ugly and dysfunctional in the Boston Harbor.

jj said...

Howard Dean's retirement years, "Damn you Barack, you weren't supposed to raise MY taxes"!

curly said...

“Look at me! I’m a Bottlenose Dolphin!...Get it?...Get it?”

Submariner said...

Curly said...
Subby thought bubble: “Sure, Rosie O’Donnell’s wet enough, but am I drunk enough?”


Dude! There aren't enough recreational pharmaceuticals in this hemisphere...

Submariner said...

Apparently, Quentin Taratino is remaking "The Incredible Mr. Limpet."

Submariner said...

Screw Stella; where's Mabel?

mega said...

When New Orleans Flood - Part 2 hit, most were like "Been there, done that."

mega said...

The Bureau of Prisons staged an elaborate fake scene to back-justify its $8 million expenditure on wicking prison uniforms.

mega said...

Kicking thousands of Roma out of the cities seemed like a really good idea, at first.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

The nightmare's always the same - just before Laura finds him huddled in a corner, sucking on an empty, wrapped up in the Mission Accomplished banner with his pants soaking wet - The Shrub's imagining himself a Katrina victim.

Whacko said...

"Drink no wine before its time. Now seems to be a good time."

Adjustah said...

Scarred irrevocably by the sight of Simon Le Bon fondling his grapes, Antione retired to Venice to simply drink those brain cells away in peace and quiet.

Adjustah said...

I know that this is Venice, but this is every French teacher I ever had...

Adjustah said...

The delicious part about starting up Angelo's home-made FartHovercraft™ was fuelling up first thing every morning.

Army of Dad said...

Move along people, nothing to see here except the standard Kennedy family training. Have to be able to float and still drink your beer while your girlfriend drowns.

Army of Dad said...

Valet parking at the Kennedy compound.

Army of Dad said...

*Drunk signing* "Like a virgin, touched for the very first time..."

Army of Dad said...

In case of a water landing smelly priate hookers can be used as a flotation device.

Army of Dad said...

Gills no longer available in Bud Lite.

mega said...

Jay Leno could bring an everyday-guy vibe, no matter where he went, even in stuck-up Old Europe.

curly said...

Swiftboating: Yur doin' it wrong!

curly said...

Michael Dukakis endorses Obama…and Budweiser, the King of Beers®!

Anonymous said...

John Kerry does Nick Nolte in the European version, Down and Out in Venice.