Thursday, August 21, 2008

They've been naughty




Best of Dwight
How Joe Francis evaluates curtain swatch colors.

Best of mega
John Edwards interviewed several new candidates for the crucial videographer position, in his SC mansion.

Best of Jack Reacher
Sometimes they drop their toys behind the couch, and spend hours trying to figure out how to retrieve them. It's so cute.

Best of Chrees
"Dad, there's something I need to tell you about the money I've earned to pay for college..."

Best of mega
By cleverly positioning the Michael Phelps poster behind the couch when his daughters' friends were visiting, Bob was finally able to get the stroke photo he'd always wanted.

Best of Army of Mom
Army of Mom has the best book club meetings.

Best of shoechick
Ok, seriously, what is up with the one in the middle in her wedge heel, comfy shoes? How many times has she heard anyone say - Oh yeah, baby, I love those spongey shoes, forget the stilletos and the 4 inch f*ck me shoes - bring on the wedgies?

43 comments:

Submariner said...

Eeny, meeny, miny, GO!

Submariner said...

Now THAT'S what I'm talkin' about - a nice comfy couch for my rec room.

Submariner said...

Why yes, girls; I AM Corporal Punishment...

Adjustah said...

Uh, sorry, but is this the room for the Olympic Volley Ball team tryouts??

Dwight said...

How Joe Francis evaluates curtain swatch colors.

mega said...

John Edwards interviewed several new candidates for the crucial videographer position, in his SC mansion.

Jack Reacher said...

Sometimes they drop their toys behind the couch, and spend hours trying to figure out how to retrieve them. It's so cute.

Chrees said...

"Hey, wait a minute. This is the third Thursday in a row you've asked for some sort of inspection. What kind of website is this?"

Chrees said...

"Dad, there's something I need to tell you about the money I've earned to pay for college..."

Dub said...

A granny-panny (and the far left one might be a tranny....for the 'anny' hat trick) buffet??

Dub said...

If you look closely, you'll see that her tattoo says "I make bad decisions"....a quality that Dub usually finds attractive.

mpur said...

The really disturbing thing is I count 7 feet in that picture.

mpur said...

3 girls, 1 couch

Dwight said...

"I dunno, Honey. I bought the couch off Craigslist from the Dean of Discipline of an English all-girls boarding school. The ad said 'As-is' and he wasn't kidding."

Army of Dad said...

"One, two three ends to spank! Ah, ah, ah."

The Muppets took some interesting turns after Jim Henson died.

mega said...

By cleverly positioning the Michael Phelps poster behind the couch when his daughters' friends were visiting, Bob was finally able to get the stroke photo he'd always wanted.

Army of Dad said...

See, this is why brunettes are smarter than blondes. This is much easier on their knees.

Mr. Right said...

John Edwards (off camera): "Okay, so which one of y'all wants to help me father Andrew Young's next love child?"

lawhawk said...

Damnit! I've got to stop leaving my digicam hanging around V the K's place.

lawhawk said...

Next up on Spike Channel:

The Dating Game (the uncensored years).

Army of Mom said...

Auditions for the next Mrs. Army of Dad.

Army of Mom said...

Ladies, I see you met Cpl. Punishment. Let me introduce you to Major Wood.

Army of Mom said...

That's ok, Dub. It happens to every guy at some point.

Army of Mom said...

How many of you noticed the flowers in the background?

That's what I thought. The gay guys don't count.

Army of Mom said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Army of Mom said...

Baldilocks and the Three Girls

On the couch in the living room, there were three pink tacos. Army of Dad was hungry. He tasted the pink taco from the first girl.

"This pink taco is too hot!" he exclaimed.

So, he tasted the pink taco from the second girl.

"This pink taco is too Asian," he said

So, he tasted the last girl's fish taco.

"Ahhh, this fish taco is just right," he said happily and he ate it all up.

Army of Mom said...

After he'd eaten the three girls' fish tacos he decided he was feeling a little sadistic. So, he walked into the living room where he saw three girls. Baldilocks sat behind the first girl.

"This ass is too big!" he exclaimed.

So he sat behind the second girl.

"This ass is too big, too!" he whined.

So she tried the last and smallest girl.

"Ahhh, this girl is just right," he sighed. But just as he settled into the girl, she broke into screams!

Army of Mom said...

Baldilocks was very tired by this time, so he went upstairs to the bedroom. After banging the three girls, of course, he fell asleep.

As he was sleeping, three big hairy bears came home.

"Someone's been eating my fish tacos," growled the Papa bear.

"I wish someone had been eating my fish taco," sighed the Mama bear.

"What's a fish taco?" cried the bear cub.

They decided to look around some more and when they got upstairs to the bedroom, Papa bear growled, "Someone's sleeping in my bed!"

"I wish someone had been sleeping in my bed, too" said the Mama bear

"What are you guys talking about?" questioned Baby bear.

Just then, Baldilocks woke up and saw the three bears. He screamed, "Why are you getting out the lubricant!" And he jumped up and ran out of the room.

Baldilocks ran down the stairs, opened the door, and ran away into the forest. And he never returned to the home of the three bears. The three girls, on the other hand, he had their phone numbers.

The End.

Army of Mom said...

This image only illustrates a 'fairy tale' for the men who critique their panties.

Army of Mom said...

Three bad girls,
Three bad girls,
See their bums,
See their bums!

They all ran after
The farmer's wife

Lucky bitch.

Army of Mom said...

Three is a magic number.
Yes it is, it's a magic number.

Army of Mom said...

Cap this brought to you by the No. 3.

Army of Mom said...

Spank you very much, V.

Army of Mom said...

Army of Mom has the best book club meetings.

Army of Dad said...

I hope that couch has been Scotch Guarded.

Army of Mom said...

Army of Mom has the best Bunko games.

Guess what the winner gets in this game?

Army of Mom said...

Army of Mom has the best PTA meetings.

Army of Mom said...

PTA - acronym for pussy, tits and ass.

President of our PTA: Army of Dad

Army of Mom said...

Darth Vadar walks in and says: Which one of you is named Luke? Cuz, I'm your daddy.

Army of Dad said...

It was a long and hard campaign. I want to thank you three for all of your help. Your dedication is inspiring.

Now I just have to find my Vice President.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Candi was the first BBW to comply with NHTSA's (Natl Ho's on Tacky Sofas Administration) safety regulation that both headlights and tramp stamps be placed at eye level.

shoechick said...

Ok, seriously, what is up with the one in the middle in her wedge heel, comfy shoes? How many times has she heard anyone say - Oh yeah, baby, I love those spongey shoes, forget the stilletos and the 4 inch f*ck me shoes - bring on the wedgies?

Van Helsing said...

At last the ACLU finds a situation where it does not disapprove of spanking.