Monday, August 18, 2008

Rielle Life


1. "What an ass," Rielle thought. Coincidentally, that's what everyone at every John Edwards campaign rally thought.

2. Rielle Hunter spent an hour and a half trying to figure out how to load film into a digital camera.

3. "Make sure you get a close-up of the nape. If that hairdresser didn't leave an even line, I'll scratch her eyes out."

4. "Don't tell me she's going to make another YouTube video of herself talking about shoes again."

5. Andy Warhol returns from the dead and produces an 18 hour movie of nothing but the back of John Edwards's head.

Wicked Best of Jack Reacher
"I told her my wife doesn't understand me, which is true, given that she's pretty whacked out with her chemotherapy."

Best of Army of Dad
John fondly recalls the nights spent with his new love-she was bouncing and behaving!

Best of kam582
Well, I guess I'm headed for that "other" America.

Best of mega
"Psst...I'll give you 10 percent of my $114,000 if you show me where the power switch is on this stupid thing."

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
She's thinking, "Turn this way! I need photographic evidence of stubble burn patterns that match my thighs."

Best of Passionate Conservative
"No, Rielle, that's not what I meant when I asked you if you wanted to make a tape..."

Best of curly
“I’m a Pisces, Rielle is an Aquarius, and my wife has Cancer.”

Best of Chrees
Figures...I bang the one Democrat that doesn't believe in abortion.

Best of Army of Mom
Psst. Mr. Edwards. Don't move. There is a giant black furball hovering over your perfectly quaffed hair.

25 comments:

Army of Dad said...

A quick spritly step and smug smile on his face...hard to believe all that was from sex with a woman!

Army of Dad said...

Jeez, you would think that Edwards would know that he doesn't have to cover up being gay by having an affair with a woman. He is a Democrat for crying out loud!

Army of Dad said...

John fondly recalls the nights spent with his new love-she was bouncing and behaving!

Army of Dad said...

Rielle said to "Work it Breck girl!" John worked it for all he was worth.

kam582 said...

Well, I guess I'm headed for that "other" America.

mega said...

Edward's channeling effort in front of a full camera crew was a great success. Unfortunately, the undead-dude told Edwards his career was over, he'd go back to being a hack ambulance chaser, and crackwhore-groupie Rielle would give birth to his quintuplets in a year.

mega said...

"Psst...I'll give you 10 percent of my $114,000 if you show me where the power switch is on this stupid thing."

Carpe Phlogiston said...

She's thinking, "Turn this way! I need photographic evidence of stubble burn patterns that match my thighs."

Rodney Dill said...

Edwards dancing to the Chicken Rielle

Jack Reacher said...

"Excuse me, which way is the hotel restroom?"

Jack Reacher said...

"I told her my wife doesn't understand me, which is true, given that she's pretty whacked out with her chemotherapy."

Jack Reacher said...

"I figured I was ready for the 3am phone call, but when it came, it just said It's a girl."

Passionate Conservative said...

"No, Rielle, that's not what I meant when I asked you if you wanted to make a tape..."

Passionate Conservative said...

Rielle worked hard to help Edwards conceal the fact that he was secretly gay. Even Edwards was not expecting to what extent.

curly said...

“I’m a Pisces, Rielle is an Aquarius, and my wife has Cancer.”

curly said...

“So much for Ann Coulter’s ‘faggot’ comment!”

Van Helsing said...

Rielle even checked the bottom of the camera, but couldn't find the instructions anywhere.

Chrees said...

Gary Hart lite

Chrees said...

Thought balloon: Figures...I bang the one Democrat that doesn't believe in abortion.

Army of Mom said...

Psst. Mr. Edwards. Don't move. There is a giant black furball hovering over your perfectly quaffed hair.

Two Dogs said...

Got nothing, but.....

Think something about stealing the Bob Dole pen thing. And then laugh.

Submariner said...

Unfortunately, John forgot to tell Rielle that it wasn't a Polaroid and she pulled the film to see the pictures she'd taken...

Army of Mom said...

John Edwards chose the stage for his next career. Playing Maria just seemed a natural since he has been singing "I feel pretty" for so many years.

Submariner said...

Thought bubble; "Well-coifed, clueless and feelin' gooooooood!

REDTEAM said...

Is that a doppleganger of a very young looking Bill Clinton directly behind John Edwards' right shoulder? The resemblance is uncanny.