Wednesday, August 27, 2008

The Real Reason The Russian Birth Rate Is Plummeting

1. After seeing coverage of the protests on their behalf, the Iraqi population voted unanimously in favor of "Bombs."

2. ♫"Manatee, my manatee/How your whiskers tickle me/In places no one ever sees/My large and supple manatee.." ♫

3. Another photograph from alt.binaries.gouge-my-eyes-out-with-a-fork

4. Vladimir Putin's carefully staged "Welcome Home" events resulted in 100% of Russian troops re-enlisting for another tour of Georgia.

5. "We love you long time... 30 kopecks... (Belch)."


Wicked Best of Rodney Dill
Oh the huge manatees

Best of Silhouette
Celebrating glorious victory over moose and squirrel.

Best of Kaptain Krude
Great, the only boobs on the Internet I don't want to see.
And yes, this caption could also go with the previous picture.

Best of Army of Dad
And Then Dub's Head Exploded.

Best of Passionate Conservative
Gravity has really taken its toll on Jenna Jameson.

Best of Jack Reacher
Celebrations on a continued whaling ban were enthusiastic and sincere.

Best of Submariner
Upon reaching port, Jack Sparrow took one look at the hookers awaiting him and his crew and left for the edge of the world again...

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
In a misguided attempt to help the endangered species - Ursus maritimus - the Russian chapter of the Polar Bear Club decided to release several members into the wild.
Follow-up: Male bears showed no interest. One even snorted, "Potential mates? You're kidding? We just thought they were really ugly seals!"

Best of shoechick
I CAN HAZ LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS CHEEZBURGER?

Best of kam582
The swimsuit competition of the Miss Russia Pageant took a turn for the worse when the judges realized that all the pretty girls were on the internet trying to find a man from the USA.

Best of Dub
...meanwhile, at the Krispy Kreme shareholders meeting....

Best of attmay
Fat Broads In Bikinis: Doing their part to spread Teh Ghey to less fabulous areas of the world since 1951.

40 comments:

Silhouette said...

They all still remember when they were bridesmaids at the Virgin Mary's wedding.

Silhouette said...

Celebrating glorious victory over moose and squirrel.

Silhouette said...

I'd still rather hang with them than the smelly hippies below.

Perhaps 'hang' wasn't the best word choice.

Kaptain Krude said...

Great, the only boobs on the Internet I don't want to see.

And yes, this caption could also go with the previous picture.

Kaptain Krude said...

Sully stared at his monitor in astonishment. "Mom?", he whispered incredulously.

Army of Dad said...

ATDHE is revamped for the newer Cap This fans.


And Then Dub's Head Exploded.

Army of Dad said...

Russia's synchronized swimming veterans welcome home their team from Bejing.

wv: iownv

Passionate Conservative said...

The "Miss Russia" contest ended, ironically, without a winner, and that included the audience.

Passionate Conservative said...

Gravity has really taken its toll on Jenna Jameson.

Passionate Conservative said...

"...Damn," thought Neo, " I really should watch what pills I'm taking from Morpheus..."

Jack Reacher said...

I no longer wonder why Russia's alcoholism rate is so high.

Jack Reacher said...

After realizing that capturing Georgian coastal towns will result in more scenes like this, Putin mutters darkly "Vat vas I tinking?"

Dub said...

Sexy....YUR DOIN IT WRONG!







ATDHE....now that is funny stuff!

Jack Reacher said...

Celebrations on a continued whaling ban were enthusiastic and sincere.

Submariner said...

Nothin' ta be seein' here folks; just a typical Kennedy family reunion at Hyannisport. Please ta be movin' along, now...

Submariner said...

Upon reaching port, Jack Sparrow took one look at the hookers awaiting him and his crew and left for the edge of the world again...

Double the U said...

Flew in from miami beach b.o.a.c., didnt get to bed last night
On the way the paper bag was on my knee, man I had a dreadful flight

Silhouette said...

Please find enclosed: One Russian bride. Contents may have shifted during shipment.

divine miss m said...

Gravity is extra-strong near Tunguska.

Anonymous said...

Contrary to what you may have heard, you can not always drink them pretty. And just trying can kill ya!

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Following the humiliating gaffe in a hastily drafted announcement for the Russki Radio Network, intended to temper Brazilian oil news, Putin shot the messenger who'd misinterpreted the teletype:
"Vast oil deposits discovered near Chernobyl!"
should have read
"Huge fat deposits discovered near Chernobyl!"

Carpe Phlogiston said...

In a misguided attempt to help the endangered species - Ursus maritimus - the Russian chapter of the Polar Bear Club decided to release several members into the wild.


Follow-up: Male bears showed no interest. One even snorted, "Potential mates? You're kidding? We just thought they were really ugly seals!"

shoechick said...

Is it Thursday already?




Someone had to say it!!!

shoechick said...

I CAN HAZ LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS CHEEZBURGER?

shoechick said...

This is what Hugh Hefner's "Girls Next Door" look like without the benefit of makeup and airbrushing!

Silhouette said...

Sports Illustrated should have known better than to fly the supermodels to Chernobyl for the photo shoot.

Dub said...

"In Russia, our jobs are to serve as mold for the production of ball-peen hammers. Hooray!"

Rodney Dill said...

Oh the huge manatees

Rodney Dill said...

Calgon wash us away!

attmay said...

Baywatch: Caspian Sea

Verify word: vlabb

Rodney Dill said...

"My Thong is ridin' up my crack."
"How would you know Ethel?"

kam582 said...

The swimsuit competition of the Miss Russia Pageant took a turn for the worse when the judges realized that all the pretty girls were on the internet trying to find a man from the USA.

Jack Reacher said...

"Svetlana, if we put on sheep costume, we might have chance with Dub."

Submariner said...

Helga cries while Olga waves the red flag to "surrender."

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Christian Dior's Maxim - Old men should never wear Speedos in public.
Emergency Coco Chanel Corollary - Ditto old gals and bikinis.

-or-

Photographic evidence the Kremlin doesn't want you to see... Mother Russia is really showing her age.

Dub said...

...meanwhile, at the Krispy Kreme shareholders meeting....

attmay said...

Fat Broads In Bikinis: Doing their part to spread Teh Ghey to less fabulous areas of the world since 1951.

Anonymous said...

Speaking of Smelly Pirate Hookers, I am afeared I can smell them from here.

Submariner said...

"Protester Groupies" as promised by the PoliSci professors...

mpur said...

Upon further review, Russia determined that 40 years was too long of a tour of duty for their sailors.