Robert Todd - (Who I think was one of Liz Taylor's husbands)
1. "Dude, I really feel for your alcoholic dad, and your sister in the hospital with terminal leukemia, and your mom about to lose the house, but F--k it. I just won eight gold medals! Not everything's about you, you know."
2. "Wow, Right Guard really does hold up, even in water."
3. "Hey, don't turn away when a dissident is executed in our honor... you'll insult our Chinese hosts."
4. "Look, I'm really sorry Bush gave you a 'good-luck spanking,' but get over it already."
5. "Yeah, we're all bummer that Chris Gorham is leaving Ugly Betty, but, f--k it! I just won eight gold medals!"
Best of Passionate Conservative
So, now that all of this is over with, do you wanna go try a threesome with Sarah Silverman? Matt said she was pretty good.
Best of kam582
Hey man, I'm sorry I peed in the water, but I didn't have time to go before the race started.
Best of Jack Reacher
Sully's search for MEN+WATERSPORTS wasn't a total disappointment for him.
Best of curly
“Gosh I’m hungry for three fried-egg sandwiches loaded with cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, fried onions, and mayonnaise; two cups of coffee, a five-egg omelet, a bowl of grits, three slices of French toast topped with powdered sugar and three chocolate-chip pancakes, and you, you hunkalicious stud-muffin with cream cheese.”
Best of Dub
This almost-gay moment brought to you by the Number 4 and the Letter O.
Best of Submariner
I pledge allegiance, to the pool...
Best of mega
"Spitz, put down the f*@&#ing toaster, and get away from the pool. NOW!"
Best of Chrees
Well, you can always try the "I came in second to Phelps" line, but I'm not sure if it will score you anything...
Best of Army of Mom
Yeah, they all look like that when I'm done with them.
Best of Rodney Dill
"Oh ennui... wash me away."