Monday, August 25, 2008

Oh, Here Da White Women At

Brender (cross-posted at A True Obamanation)

1. "Your offering pleases me. Your family will be spared in the purges to come."

2. "Another bounteous crop from the People's Sunflower Agricultural Collective #315. Thank you Comrade."

3. "This is from your mommy? Which one is your mommy...? The lady screaming and flashing her titties is your mommy? Which one?"

4. "This isn't arugula! What kind of cracker sh-t is this?"

5. "You stupid cracker b1tch, I can't smoke this."

Best of Passionate Conservative
Jenny suddenly realized the flaw in her plan. For the spores to be released, the flower has to be facing the target.

Best of Dub
Barrack Osama didnt realize that he had Chris Hanson peering over his shoulder as he went for a little squeezy.

Best of mpur
"Now step over to that table there and let's get you registered to vote."

Best of Army of Dad
Only moments before seeing the light from the mess-I-uh this little girl was bitterly clinging to her sunflower.

Best of Silhouette
Obama's first pick for VP was an attempt to make him look relatively experienced.

Best of Army of Mom
Little white girl: I'm a pickin.
BO: N, I'm a grinnin!

19 comments:

Passionate Conservative said...

Jenny remembered the flaw in her plan. For the spores to be released, the flower has to be facing the target.

Dub said...

Barrack Osama didnt realize that he had Chris Hanson peering over his shoulder as he went for a little squeezy.

Jack Reacher said...

"Once my synthetic sunflower growth plan is implemented and fully funded, we will no longer be dependent on natural sunflowers!"

mpur said...

"Now step over to that table there and let's get you registered to vote."

Army of Dad said...

Only moments before seeing the light from the mess-I-uh this little girl was bitterly clinging to her sunflower.

Silhouette said...

Obama's first pick for VP was an attempt to make him look experienced.

Robert said...

The Secret Service is suspicious of the sunflower sent by Kansas governor Kathleen Sebelius shortly after she learned that the veep spot was not to be hers.

Obama holds an example of the brain-washing flowers imported from Omicron Ceti III. (Sorry for obscure Star Trek reference).

Army of Mom said...

Trying to reach out to the 30-somethings, B.O. adopts the Tears for Fears "Sewing the Seeds of Love" as his campaign song.

Army of Mom said...

Mr. Obama, is that your hand on my ass? My dad always said Dems were trying to pick his pockets, but I didn't think he meant it literally.

Army of Mom said...

Stop me if you've heard this one before, B.O., a little white girl and a sunflower walk into the DNC ...

Army of Mom said...

BO: I'm sorry. If your quarry goes to ground, leave no ground to go to. You should have taken my offer. Or did you think none of this was your fault?
Little white girl: I don't murder children.
BO: I do. If I have to.
Little white girl: Why? Do you even know why they sent you?
BO: It's not my place to ask. I believe in something greater than myself. A better world. A world without sin.
Little white girl: So me and mine gotta lay down and die... so you can live in your better world?
BO: I'm not going to live there. There's no place for me there any more than there is for you little white girl. I'm a monster. What I do is evil. I have no illusions about it, but it must be done.

Army of Mom said...

Here's a flower for you, Mr. Obama. Keep the change. Please.

Army of Mom said...

Little white girl: I'm a pickin.
BO: N, I'm a grinnin!

Army of Mom said...

Ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?

Army of Mom said...

Dude, do you have the munchies, too? Think that sunflower might taste good? No? Well, we can grind it up and smoke it then.

Army of Mom said...

Now's your inning. Stand the world on it's ear!
Set it spinning! That'll be just the beginning!
Curtain up! Light the lights!
You got nothing to hit but the heights!
You'll be swell. You'll be great.
I can tell. Just you wait.
That lucky star I talk about is due!
Honey, everything's coming up sunflowers for me and for you!

In case you don't know the song.

Army of Mom said...

Ah-choo.

Sorry, Mr. Obama. I'm allergic. No, not to the flower. To the bullshit.

Army of Mom said...

Sally smiled after putting the "kick me" sign on BO's back. Anthony Michael Hall - in the background - clearly wasn't as amused.

Army of Mom said...

Funny, I don't see any strings on him. *scratching chin* Mom said he was just another DNC puppet.