1. "I wonder how mom learned to deep throat a can this big?"
2. "This should give me the boost I need to get away from Barney Frank."
3. "All right, whoop-ass, let's get you opened. "
4. Andrew Sullivan is only mildly disappointed by his Google search for 'young boy licking a black can.'
5. "Aw, thit, the pull-tab'th thtuck on my tongue thtud."
Best of mega
Amy Winehouse: "See, the difference is, I would never go out on my bicycle after huffing a can of keyboard cleaner spray."
Best of Jack Reacher
Billy tried for hours to produce notes from his harmonica, before someone told him it was actually a tennis ball can.
Best of prince of leaves
After a week in the hospital and some lingering brain damage, Billy learns that the nitrogen gas gizmos in Guinness cans are not intended to be huffed.
Best of Passionate Conservative
Wow, candy and a new bike? Thank you Mr. McKellen!
Best of kam582
Future mayor of a large eastern city in America.
Best of Tim
Soon after winning his first little league championship, little Johnny starts his downward descent
Best of curly
“Look! I’m Rielle!... ‘Which end of the camera should I point towards Edwards?’”