Friday, August 15, 2008

Hot Cornhole Action

AoSHQ


1. After hearing his new girlfriend was really into cornholing, Mark wasted a small fortune on Vaseline.

2. "Hell0? Hello? We brought the TP for your bunghole."

3. "V the K? Do you feel like voting for McCain yet, or do you want to spend a few more days in the snake pit?"

4. The Realtor proudly showed the only home in the Bay Area that listed for under $400,000.

5. "OK, now that you've seen one, can you tell one from your ass?"

Best of Jack Reacher
"Daddy said if we ever miss Mommy, we just need to write a note to her and drop it in here."

Best of Dub
Glory Hole...UR DOING IT WRONG!

Best of Submariner
Looks like the hose, again...

Best of Silhouette
Lamest. Miniature golf course. Ever.

Best of curly
“That’s right! John Edwards is straight! He made it with a WOMAN!”

Best of mega
The portable Saudi burying-and-stoning system in America's parks caught people off guard and, well, made them a bit nervous. Needless to say, learning about Islam and confronting their own irrational phobias would solve the problem.

Best of prince of leaves
Chinese authorities worked hard to improve public restroom facilities in Beijing ahead of the Olympics.

Best of Adjustah
"Seriously, Sweetheart! In my defense, I just thought that maybe your parents had put in a new outhouse! Please apologize to your Grandmother."

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Due to severe funding cutbacks, the National Park Service has begun replacing single-sex enclosed restrooms with low-cost unisex open air portajohns made from recycled Katrina mobile homes and kitty litter. A spokesman dismissed the formaldehyde issue as "the least of the user's problems."

Best of Rodney Dill
Whack a mole... Gitmo style

Best of kam582
The Smith's, having never ventured further than 2 miles from their home, did not realize that they had left out several vital parts of their new outhouse.

25 comments:

Jack Reacher said...

"Daddy said if we ever miss Mommy, we just need to write a note to her and drop it in here."

Jack Reacher said...

Young Democrats examine the "ballot box" where military ballots from overseas are dropped.

Dub said...

Glory Hole...YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG!

Passionate Conservative said...

Chuck would have given her the courtesy of a reach-around, but he doesn't like girls that much.

Submariner said...

Looks like the hose, again...

Submariner said...

Sometimes Marie needed a little extra coaxing to play the "hide the salami" game...

Silhouette said...

Lamest. Miniature golf course. Ever.

Jack Reacher said...

Waiting for the "Hidden Imam." FAIL.

Chrees said...

Lisa Sanchez (pictured above) never understood why everyone called her "Dirty"

mega said...

"Pleeaassse let me out...so hot and thirsty....I swear I'll vote for Obama." The Portable Republican Reeducation Centers were helping the peasants to understand their Bad Thinking and join the annointed, voluntarily.

curly said...

August, 2009: President Obama's Department of Fairness introduces a new afternoon TV programming genre, the ‘hope opera’.

curly said...

“That’s right! John Edwards is straight! He made it with a WOMAN!”

mega said...

The portable Saudi burying-and-stoning system in America's parks caught people off guard and, well, made them a bit nervous. Needless to say, learning about Islam and confronting their own irrational phobias would solve the problem.

prince of leaves said...

Introducing RAID(tm) Estranged Wife Motels: The ballbusting harpies check in, but they don't check out.

prince of leaves said...

Chinese authorities worked hard to improve public restroom facilities in Beijing ahead of the Olympics.

prince of leaves said...

"Oh look! Morlocks!"

Adjustah said...

"Seriously, Sweetheart! In my defense, I just thought that maybe your parents had put in a new outhouse! Please apologize to your Grandmother."

Army of Dad said...

"Daddy it's not what you think."
"Sorry sir, I was just helping your daughter get her bag-sandbag!"

Meeting Suzy's dad didn't go well for Tom.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Only two people attended the commemoration of the Senator Larry Craig Memorial Glory Hole. The couple (names withheld by request) stated they were attracted by the Eternal Tapping Foot sound emanating from the box.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

The first confirmed sighting of the mound of the new species of carpenter ant (Camponotus architectus erectus) didn't cause much alarm until the tricky things began attracting human prey by mimicking the cry of a small child trapped in an abandoned building.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Due to severe funding cutbacks, the National Park Service has begun replacing single-sex enclosed restrooms with low-cost unisex open air portajohns made from recycled Katrina mobile homes and kitty litter. A spokesman dismissed the formaldehyde issue as "the least of the user's problems."

Carpe Phlogiston said...

The least illegal business idea coming out of the Apprentice spin-off reality show, Inner City Entrepreneurs: Nonviolently rip off tourists by setting out "wishing wells" in high traffic areas of local parks. Though it netted nothing besides a few used syringes, some candy wrappers, and a nest of baby rats, Bama was quoted saying, "Now that's what I means by change!" He invited any contestant still out on bond to give a keynote ebonics address at the DNC.

Rodney Dill said...

Whack a mole... Gitmo style

kam582 said...

The Smith's, having never ventured further than 2 miles from their home, did not realize that they had left out several vital parts of their new outhouse.

curly said...

In the remake of the movie “Dune”, thumpers are renamed “Larry Craig Tappers”; and yes, the sandworm always comes.