(I also think we may have a "Separated at Birth?)
1. Sargon puts 400 Qatloos on Joe Biden for the Obama Veep spot.
2. Jerry Springer displays the pride of his collection of Gigantic Butt-Plugs.
3. ORA: "Hold on, it's Lord Apophos. I have to take this call."
4. "Ultimately, I propose to pave the entire Earth, as depicted in this model."
5. "And this is the actual size of the black hole the Earth will become when they switch on the CERN supercollider. Bye-Bye."
Best of kam582
Al Gore's son proudly displays his science project, which is a model of earth in 2 months if we all continue to drive our SUV's, eat what we want, and keep our homes at 72 degrees. He got an "F".
Best of Van Helsing
Globes were less interesting after the UN finally managed to impose equality on the entire planet.
Best of divine miss m
♫ ...And I always fill my ballroom
the event is never small
The social pages say
I've got the biggest balls of all ♫
Best of curly
“Now that you’ve seen my commercial grade 8 ball, let me show you some of the other worthless crap that I got from the Sharper Image.”
Best of curly
“…and this is the bowling ball Barack used when he scored a 37.”
Best of Passionate Conservative
"Hey, look what I just passed!"
Best of Submariner
Darwin Award finalist T. Bubba Jones proudly displays the 60000 volt generator moments before hooking it up to his glasses in an attempt to make "real X-Ray specs."
Best of andthenblammo!
"Yeah, I f*cked up buying this Betamax Orgasmatron; no new software for 30 years means I'm stuck with 'Rhoda Gets Raunchy' and 'Joanie Really loves Chachi!' Sigh."
Best of Jay Guevara
"And in this new religion I'm founding, you worship this meteorite, avoid pork, alcohol, and progress, seethe at the drop of a hat, and blow up anyone who looks at you cross-eyed."
Best of mega
Al Gore's "Globe In 2050 If We Don't Solve Global Warming" was snapped-up by the suburban intelligentsia like there was no tomorrow.
Best of Adjustah
The original, non-thermal exhaust port Death Star plans were rejected after Mrs. Tarkin thought that it needed "something in the middle to pull it all together".
Best of Rodney Dill
"No... Seriously... Do not taunt happy fun ball.."
Best of Army of Dad
"...and this sculpture was inspired by Tool's Prison Sex"
Best of Carpe Plogiston
What with daily police reports of a wrecked fences and flattened gardens, Rodney admitted that his steroid experiments on dung beetles might not be neighborhood-appropriate.
Best of prince of leaves
A day later, while the glassy crater that was downtown Denver still glowed, news offices in New York and DC received copies of Jim's martyrdom video.