Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Behold the Sphere

Beyond Binary

(I also think we may have a "Separated at Birth?)

Elton John
Sphere Dood




1. Sargon puts 400 Qatloos on Joe Biden for the Obama Veep spot.

2. Jerry Springer displays the pride of his collection of Gigantic Butt-Plugs.

3. ORA: "Hold on, it's Lord Apophos. I have to take this call."

4. "Ultimately, I propose to pave the entire Earth, as depicted in this model."

5. "And this is the actual size of the black hole the Earth will become when they switch on the CERN supercollider. Bye-Bye."


Best of kam582
Al Gore's son proudly displays his science project, which is a model of earth in 2 months if we all continue to drive our SUV's, eat what we want, and keep our homes at 72 degrees. He got an "F".

Best of Van Helsing
Globes were less interesting after the UN finally managed to impose equality on the entire planet.

Best of divine miss m
♫ ...And I always fill my ballroom
the event is never small
The social pages say
I've got the biggest balls of all ♫

Best of curly
“Now that you’ve seen my commercial grade 8 ball, let me show you some of the other worthless crap that I got from the Sharper Image.”

Best of curly
“…and this is the bowling ball Barack used when he scored a 37.”

Best of Passionate Conservative
"Hey, look what I just passed!"

Best of Submariner
Darwin Award finalist T. Bubba Jones proudly displays the 60000 volt generator moments before hooking it up to his glasses in an attempt to make "real X-Ray specs."

Best of andthenblammo!
"Yeah, I f*cked up buying this Betamax Orgasmatron; no new software for 30 years means I'm stuck with 'Rhoda Gets Raunchy' and 'Joanie Really loves Chachi!' Sigh."

Best of Jay Guevara
"And in this new religion I'm founding, you worship this meteorite, avoid pork, alcohol, and progress, seethe at the drop of a hat, and blow up anyone who looks at you cross-eyed."

Best of mega
Al Gore's "Globe In 2050 If We Don't Solve Global Warming" was snapped-up by the suburban intelligentsia like there was no tomorrow.

Best of Adjustah
The original, non-thermal exhaust port Death Star plans were rejected after Mrs. Tarkin thought that it needed "something in the middle to pull it all together".

Best of Rodney Dill
"No... Seriously... Do not taunt happy fun ball.."

Best of Army of Dad
"...and this sculpture was inspired by Tool's Prison Sex"

Best of Carpe Plogiston
What with daily police reports of a wrecked fences and flattened gardens, Rodney admitted that his steroid experiments on dung beetles might not be neighborhood-appropriate.

Best of prince of leaves
A day later, while the glassy crater that was downtown Denver still glowed, news offices in New York and DC received copies of Jim's martyrdom video.

33 comments:

Submariner said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Submariner said...

"...and with this little beauty, I can project a frozen Sasquatch corpse in any freezer I want..."

Submariner said...

A loyal KOStard proudly displays the "Rovian Mind Ray Generator" he managed to stuff into his pants during a public tour of the White House. Says Karkos, "This proves once and for all that Bush is Satan."

kam582 said...

Al Gore's son proudly displays his science project, which is a model of earth in 2 months if we all continue to drive our SUV's, eat what we want, and keep our homes at 72 degrees. He got an "F".

Van Helsing said...

Globes were less interesting after the UN finally managed to impose equality on the entire planet.

divine miss m said...

♫ ...And I always fill my ballroom
the event is never small
The social pages say
I've got the biggest balls of all ♫

curly said...

“Now that you’ve seen my commercial grade 8 ball, let me show you some of the other worthless crap that I got from the Sharper Image.”

curly said...

Git yur filthy white hands off my Michelle Obama sculpture!

curly said...

Say what you will about Bill’s politics, at least he’s got one black ball more the Obama does.

Jack Reacher said...

"And if you call now, we'll double the order. That's right; two balls!" Billy Mays, the early years.

curly said...

“…and this is the bowling ball Barack used when he scored a 37.”

Passionate Conservative said...

"Nerds in love."

Passionate Conservative said...

"And this is my revenge on the football team. You may not want to see what it does to them, but suffice it to say, they'll never look at a girl the same way again.

Passionate Conservative said...

"Hey, look what I just passed!"

Passionate Conservative said...

Mr. T really meant to say "Get some nut."

Submariner said...

Darwin Award finalist T. Bubba Jones proudly displays the 60000 volt generator moments before hooking it up to his glasses in an attempt to make "real X-Ray specs."

His last words were reported; "Hey, y'all; watch this!"

andthenblammo! said...

"Yeah, I f*cked up buying this Betamax Orgasmatron; no new software for 30 years means I'm stuck with 'Rhoda Gets Raunchy' and 'Joanie Really loves Chachi!' Sigh."

Passionate Conservative said...

"...and next on World's Worst Jobs, we meet the man who has to clean the semen collector at the San Francisco Sperm Bank...

Jay Guevara said...

"And in this new religion I'm founding, you worship this meteorite, avoid pork, alcohol, and progress, seethe at the drop of a hat, and blow up anyone who looks at you cross-eyed."

Jack Reacher said...

Jay guevara: LOL! You're about 1400 years late, though. BTW, can I draw a caricature of you?

mega said...

Al Gore's "Globe In 2050 If We Don't Solve Global Warming" was snapped-up by the suburban intelligentsia like there was no tomorrow.

mpur said...

After the failed Bigfoot's Body hoax, Tom Biscardi displays his next piece of evidence, Bigfoot's Left Nut.

Adjustah said...

The original, non-thermal exhaust port Death Star plans were rejected after Mrs. Tarkin thought that it needed "something in the middle to pull it all together".

Rodney Dill said...

"No... Seriously... Do not taunt happy fun ball.."

Jay Guevara said...

jack,

By all means, please do!

Army of Dad said...

I have a hunch that this isn't the first time he has touched large dark balls.

Army of Dad said...

"...and this sculpture was inspired by Tool's Prison Sex"

Army of Dad said...

"Stupid static ball is broken-not one single hair is standing on end."

Carpe Plogiston said...

What with daily police reports of a wrecked fences and flattened gardens, Rodney admitted that his steroid experiments on dung beetles might not be neighborhood-appropriate.

prince of leaves said...

A day later, while the glassy crater that was downtown Denver still glowed, news offices in New York and DC received copies of Jim's martyrdom video.

Adjustah said...

Seconds later, Skynet became aware...of inappropriate touching.

curly said...

Barack Obama, 47, wrote warmly about his youngest half-brother in his autobiography, describing him as a "beautiful boy with a rounded head."

shoechick said...

Thought bubble over Ryan O'Neal's head "Hmmm, this reminds of Farrah and her big, black hole."