Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Why Can't Moonbats Keep Their Damn Clothes On?

Weasel Zippers

1. As proof that the ACLU is America's nightmare, I present to you one of their lawyers giving a speech in his underwear.

2. Hot: Mormon Missionaries. Most Definitely NOT: Moonbat Lawyers.

3. In the post-Sandy Berger National Archive, strip searches for former Clinton Aides are now mandatory.

4. When he realized that no one at the bachelor auction was going to outbid Andrew Sullivan, the lawyer began to sob.

5. "I'm a Little Teapot" FAIL

46 comments:

Double the U said...

And now a man with a tape recorder in his penis.

Jack Reacher said...

"I now yield the remainder of my time to the distinguished gentleman from Hanes."

The Man said...

ACLU lawyers converged on Chuck E. Cheese to note that the sign says "shirts and shoes required". There is nothing on the sign that forbids pedophiles from entering without pants.

duke of red said...

Dood, you wouldn't have those yellow stains if you shook it a little more before you put it back up.

duke of red said...

I thought the Supreme Court was against torture?

duke of red said...

I'm confused. Were the guards at Gitmo pulling down their own pants?

duke of red said...

Is this change we can believe in?

Rev. Right said...

"Put your pants back on, you idiot! That's not what we meant by a thorough 'debriefing'!"

julie said...

Terry Stricter, MindHead Honcho: And what is it that we don't do?
Kit: Oh, man!
Terry Stricter, MindHead Honcho: What is it?
Kit: Look, I have to show it to the Laker Girls.
Terry Stricter, MindHead Honcho: You cannot show it to the Laker Girls. I know you want to show it to the Laker Girls but you can never show it to the Laker Girls. Keep Mr Weenie in the pants. Always in the pants.

V the K said...

julie, that is so weird, because I was going to do a Bowfinger caption on one of Friday's pictures

Gagdad Bob said...

"No, you misunderstood. Report to the emergency room if it lasts longer than four hours, not less than four minutes."

mklasing said...

When the ACLU lawyer saw the blue-glove poster proclaiming free proctology exams, he jumped at the chance to cash in on another entitlement.

julie said...

V the K, I just saw Bowfinger Sunday night, so this was fresh in my head. Love that movie.

julie said...

No, really, I'm wearing a mangina. Let me show you how it works...

sonicfrog said...

Fruit Of The Loom's attempt to copy the Michael Jordan / Cuba Gooding Jr. ads fell somewhat short...

Double the U said...

I used to be a 34 but now I am a 40, mmmmm donuts!

Silhouette said...

Chase Devlin: Naked Lawyer, coming this fall to Fox.

Ricky Raccoon said...

“I’ll take ‘Lawyers who’ll do anything for a buck’ for one dollar, Alex.”

prince of leaves said...

Bob Zubrin will to ANYTHING to get attention for his Flex-Fuel plan.

Army of Mom said...

I've got nothing.

Wait, I take that back. I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.

Army of Mom said...

Just another Friday night at the reverse strip club: where you pay people to put their clothes back on.

Army of Mom said...

Suddenly, I want the bull to win in Pamplona.

Army of Mom said...

So, I was telling him that if you just flash the bull, it goes blind and it can't even see you.

Army of Mom said...

Where were you wounded son?
In the buttocks.

The Spanish version of Forrest Gump left a lot to be desired.

Army of Mom said...

Most definitely a steer and not a stud.

Army of Mom said...

El Capitan de Underpants.

Army of Mom said...

It must be cold in that room.

Army of Mom said...

How emasculating when the microphones are the biggest phallises in the room.

mega said...

President Obama's new press secretary had a unique interpretation of the "press briefing". AP dutifully reported it as a mic placement issue, caused by challenges in adapting to Washington's stale traditons.

Whacko said...

Thought balloon:
"What? When Jim Carrey talks from his butt, everyone laughs. But when I talk with my crotch, nothing! What the heck am I doing wrong?"

GregMan said...

"Now let me show you how the guards at Gitmo a$$-raped my client! Please!! LET ME SHOW YOU!!!"

GregMan said...

An ACLU lawyer prepares to show the media what his lawsuit will do to patriotic, law-abiding Americans.

Adjustah said...

"If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you..."

Anonymous said...

For the love of Allah, counselor, hurry up and file those briefs!

Steve O said...

No matter how much you shake and dance... the last drop is in your pants.

Steve O said...

...but now thanks to Enzyte, an extra pair of socks, and prosthetic helper I don't come until the second lap-dance!

Steve O said...

No, I'm not saying it's chubby. YOU are.

Jay Guevara said...

"Oh yeah? You want me to file a brief, do ya? I'll file one for ya right here and now!"

Steve O said...

Dude, just cause he does your thinking for you, doesn't mean he should actually speak for you.

Jay Guevara said...

"...short and stout, here is my handle, here is my...uh...never mind..."

Jay Guevara said...

"You're sure? Mecca is right behind me? Great! Watch this!"

Jay Guevara said...

"You need change for the meter? I've got a roll of dimes right here."

mpur said...

Where is Officer Dick when you need him?

Steve O said...

The judges decide that this contestant's "little Richard" doesn't have enough stage presence to make in the big time.

And to be honest, he works a little blue.

robert said...

Release my client! Or the drawers come off!

Hey honey! Step up to the bar.

David Remes, William Jefferson Clinton Professor or Law, University of Arkansas.

Rodney Dill said...

The Amazing Mr. Limpett