1. As proof that the ACLU is America's nightmare, I present to you one of their lawyers giving a speech in his underwear.
2. Hot: Mormon Missionaries. Most Definitely NOT: Moonbat Lawyers.
3. In the post-Sandy Berger National Archive, strip searches for former Clinton Aides are now mandatory.
4. When he realized that no one at the bachelor auction was going to outbid Andrew Sullivan, the lawyer began to sob.
5. "I'm a Little Teapot" FAIL