Thursday, July 31, 2008
Sharon Stone - Nurse
1. How to tell if you've got a really good HMO.
2. "Here, sweetie, let me nationalize that for you." Hillary loved role-playing.
3. "Ah, my dissertation on cold fusion is almost flawless."
4. General Hospital's transformation to soft-core pr0n was so gradual, not even the hausfraus and unemployed gay men who made up its core audience noticed.
5. "So, in this next scene, I got double-penetrated and have a flashback to my previous life as a fugitive con-woman" J.J. Abrams makes his first pr0n movie.
Best of Double the U
Sandy Burger's secretary.
Best of The Man
The media reported today that Former President Clinton checked into a hospital for an "indefinite" amount of time.
Best of Army of Mom
I heard that you were feeling ill, headache, fever and a chill.
I came to help restore your pluck, cuz that I'm the nurse who likes to f***.
Best of mega
"This Will excludes the girl who just spent the last 11 years dressing up in hot fetish outfits for my pleasure."
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
The practical joker lobbyist who helped draft the initial HIPAA regulations never imagined that not one Congressman would read the bill's details before voting. Thus it was that paragraphs 196.2 and 872z - "filing cabinets must not exceed 2 drawers in height" and "all nurses will wear stockings, garters and heels" - became federal law.
Best of Uchuck the Tuchuck
"...and under no circumstances is the patient to become sexually aroused...oops."
Best of attmay
"So, Mr. Beavis, it says you have been diagnosed with...Mr. Beavis? Mr. Beavis? Quick, somebody get the defibrillator, we may have a code blue!"