Thursday, July 31, 2008

Sharon Stone - Nurse


1. How to tell if you've got a really good HMO.

2. "Here, sweetie, let me nationalize that for you." Hillary loved role-playing.

3. "Ah, my dissertation on cold fusion is almost flawless."

4. General Hospital's transformation to soft-core pr0n was so gradual, not even the hausfraus and unemployed gay men who made up its core audience noticed.

5. "So, in this next scene, I got double-penetrated and have a flashback to my previous life as a fugitive con-woman" J.J. Abrams makes his first pr0n movie.

Best of Double the U
Sandy Burger's secretary.

Best of The Man
The media reported today that Former President Clinton checked into a hospital for an "indefinite" amount of time.

Best of Army of Mom
I heard that you were feeling ill, headache, fever and a chill.
I came to help restore your pluck, cuz that I'm the nurse who likes to f***.

Best of mega
"This Will excludes the girl who just spent the last 11 years dressing up in hot fetish outfits for my pleasure."

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
The practical joker lobbyist who helped draft the initial HIPAA regulations never imagined that not one Congressman would read the bill's details before voting. Thus it was that paragraphs 196.2 and 872z - "filing cabinets must not exceed 2 drawers in height" and "all nurses will wear stockings, garters and heels" - became federal law.

Best of Uchuck the Tuchuck
"...and under no circumstances is the patient to become sexually aroused...oops."

Best of attmay
"So, Mr. Beavis, it says you have been diagnosed with...Mr. Beavis? Mr. Beavis? Quick, somebody get the defibrillator, we may have a code blue!"

31 comments:

Double the U said...

Oh, so that is where my hospital records went.

Double the U said...

Sandy Burger's secretary.

Army of Dad said...

It's all about the panties you know.

*inside joke*

Chrees said...

Grey's anatomy finally revealed...

The Man said...

The media reported today that Former President Clinton checked into a hospital for an "indefinite" amount of time.

Dub said...

This site is falling apart. First we had the big ass woman and her sidekick, Princess PiePanNipples.....and now we have a "sexy" nurse with an unsightly bulge in her panties. It wouldnt be so bad, but I think her bulge is bigger than mine.

Army of Mom said...

So, that's your problem, Dub. Her bulge is bigger than yours.

*you said it, buddy. My condolences to Mrs. Dub*

Army of Mom said...

I heard that you were feeling ill, headache, fever and a chill.
I came to help restore your pluck, cuz that I'm the nurse who likes to f***.

Army of Mom said...

*giggling at Army of Dad's comment*

Kaptain Krude said...

"Sir, I'm supposed to take your temperature, and I don't think that's a regulation thermometer, anyway."

mega said...

"This Will excludes the girl who just spent the last 11 years dressing up in hot fetish outfits for my pleasure."

mega said...

Karen held her lover's "instructions" two feet away, and was finally able to read them. But the sudden realization that she was ready for reading glasses just totally killed the mood.

Double the U said...

Excuse me while a whip this out.

mpur said...

Well, it's obvious she's not the head nurse.

Army of Mom said...

Doc cured my camel toe, but the side effects are, well, you be the judge.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Lenscrafters received the American Optometric Association's tacit approval of a totally revamped eye exam only after members received proof of concept private lap demos at the annual AOA convention. In a near-unanimous confirmation of accuracy, most were heard yelling, "Halleluhja, I can SEE again!"

Passionate Conservative said...

Andrew Sullivan woke up in a cold sweat, screaming "Get it away from me! Get it away!

ochagirl said...

"Dub said . . .
...and now we have a "sexy" nurse with an unsightly bulge in her panties."


I'm not the only who noticed!!! It's just a protruding mons venus*. Just tell yourself that. You'll sleep better at night.

I for one, though, welcome our shemale overlords.

WhytheheckamIlookingathercrotchwhenI'mnotalesbian?!

*I should know . . . it looks like I have a package, too. XP

Anonymous said...

Munchkinland General Hospital.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

The practical joker lobbyist who helped draft the initial HIPAA regulations never imagined that not one Congressman would read the bill's details before voting. Thus it was that paragraphs 196.2 and 872z - "filing cabinets must not exceed 2 drawers in height" and "all nurses will wear stockings, garters and heels" - became federal law.

Adjustah said...

Time for some Preparation V...

Submariner said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
lawhawk said...

Mr. Blackwell warns all that wearing pink panties with white stockings is a big fashion faux pas. But, he'll overlook that in this case.

Uchuck the Tuchuck said...

"...and under no circumstances is the patient to become sexually aroused...oops."

Army of Dad said...

Where is the other end of the stethascope?

attmay said...

"So, Mr. Beavis, it says you have been diagnosed with...Mr. Beavis? Mr. Beavis? Quick, somebody get the defibrillator, we may have a code blue!"

attmay said...

Animaniacs: Too Hot For TV edition

Rodney Dill said...

"Uh... could be postpone my bloodpressure check for a few more minutes?"

Submariner said...

If all HM's looked like this, we'd never have an empty berth on a ship...



PIMF

Submariner said...

Eunuch test, Mk 1 Mod 0

Submariner said...

That reminds me, anybody got some bubble gum?