Monday, July 14, 2008

Pleasants! I Loves Pleasants!

Sondra K
1. "Yup, another copy of the illustrated Kama Sutra and a tiny white butt plug. I hate these G-8 meetings. Same gifts every year."

2. "My Pet Goat... Oh, yeah, Sarkozy, real f-ckin' funny, a$$-wipe."

3. "Hooked on... P-hone-ics? Ponicks?"

4. "A is for Abu, martyred with rockets/ B is for Barack, with no eyes in his sockets..." Bush loved his autographed First Edition of The Gashlycrumb Jihadis.

5. Only when he got the galleys for his memoirs did Bush realize that hiring SOTG to caption the photos had been a bigger mistake than hiring Scott McLellan.

Best of Passionate Conservative
It's an old Sicilian message, it means that Pelosi sleeps with the fishes.---George Bush was thrilled at the possibilities

Best of Silhouette
ORA - "The secret lies with Charlotte?"

Best of Dub
"Laura always falls for the penis-in-the-popcorn-box trick...so this will really fool her!"

Best of Double the U
And once again Michael Moore ate all the chocolate covered cherries. damn it to hell.

Best of Jack Reacher
Thank you for ordering the starter kit "So you want to write your memoirs." Enclosed please find a sample outline, a list of 1001 excuses (Expanded since the Clinton presidency), and a check for $15 million.

Best of prince of leaves
"What's this? Another construction paper Abu Ghraib diorama in a shoebox? Sheesh -- those Code Pink women really need to grow up."

16 comments:

Passionate Conservative said...

It's an old Sicilian message, it means that Pelosi sleeps with the fishes.---George Bush was thrilled at the possibilities

Silhouette said...

"Oh, a lapel pin that says, 'Say no to over packaging!'"

Silhouette said...

ORA - "The secret lies with Charlotte?"

Dub said...

"Laura always falls for the penis-in-the-popcorn-box trick...so this will really fool her!"

kg said...

The Japanese hosts gave me a barf-bag???? Hey, Dad - I think this gift was for you.

The Man said...

Hey, this one's ticking

Mr. Right said...

"Oh, look... Someone finally gave me a 'pair'! Damnit! Why did they wait until now? I could really have used these the past seven years when dealing with the press, the Democrats and the weasley Republicans in the Congress!"

Anonymous said...

This is funner than that popcorn bucket with the hole in the bottom Dick shares with me on movie night! I'm gonna show this to momma next time she visits just to prove I've got a pair!

Double the U said...

And once again Michael Moore ate all the chocolate covered cherries. damn it to hell.

Army of Mom said...

*singing to himself*

It's my dick in a box!

Jack Reacher said...

Thank you for ordering the starter kit "So you want to write your memoirs." Enclosed please find a sample outline, a list of 1001 excuses (Expanded since the Clinton presidency), and a check for $15 million.

Jack Reacher said...

"It's says it's from Gallant! Hey, wait, that would make me...."

Jack Reacher said...

"Survival kit contents check. In them you'll find:

- One forty-five caliber automatic
- Two boxes of ammunition
- Four days' concentrated emergency rations
- One drug issue containing antibiotics, morphine,
vitamin pills, pep pills, sleeping pills, tranquilizer pills
- One miniature combination Russian phrase book and Bible
- One hundred dollars in rubles
- One hundred dollars in gold
- Nine packs of chewing gum
- One issue of prophylactics
- Three lipsticks
- Three pair of nylon stockings.

Shoot, a fella' could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff."

prince of leaves said...

"What a nice handmade wooden box. I wonder who it's from? Hmm -- 'Ted...Ka...Kay...zin...' Oh crap."

prince of leaves said...

"What's this? Another construction paper Abu Ghraib diorama in a shoebox? Sheesh -- those Code Pink women really need to grow up."

Tim said...

Presidential Dick in a box