Monday, July 14, 2008

Oh, no no no no no no

Sondra K


1. Chelsea was used to saying "They are real, and they're spectacular," but not to her own dad.

2. "Yeah, I got mom's thighs and your nose... thank you so bloody much."

3. "Yeah, looks like mom just stole your date, dad. (Pause) We're not a family in the conventional sense, are we?"

4. "An 'Electra Complex?' I don't know what that is, daddy, but it sounds kinky!"

5. "Do I think Michelle Obama 'gets freaky?' Jeez, dad, can't you keep it in your pants for more than five minutes?"
Best of Jack Reacher
Breasts don't usually eat hands, but Clinton breasts appear to be carnivorous.

Best of Silhouette
I see Hillary's proof reader has been doing the signs for this year's Oscars.

Best of sonicfrog
"What's happenin', Hot Stuff..."

Best of Jay Guevara
"Am I feeling Chelsea's tits? It depends on what your definition of 'tits' is."

Best of Army of Mom
Sooo, that's how it is in that family.

Best of Steve O
Bill was always suspicious of the fact that Chelsea was born nine months after Hillary met with The Joker.

28 comments:

Passionate Conservative said...

Is that a muffin top I see?

Jack Reacher said...

"Is that your friend Dawn, over by the Old Navy? Think you could introduce me?"

Jack Reacher said...

Breasts don't usually eat hands, but Clinton breasts appear to be carnivorous.

Jack Reacher said...

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Chels?"
"Yeah; that way that man handles the tiger cubs gets me hot."

Silhouette said...

I see Hillary's proof reader has been doing the signs for this year's Oscars.

sonicfrog said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
sonicfrog said...

"What's happenin', Hot Stuff..."

sonicfrog said...

"By night's end, I predict me and her will interface."

sonicfrog said...

"Why do you think you're a dork? I don't think you're a dork. I don't think Mom thinks you're a dork..."

sonicfrog said...

"I want a serious girlfriend. Somebody I can love, that's gonna love me back. Is that psycho?"

Nose said...

Honey, let me explain the Arkansas definition of "Relative Humidity."

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Gennifer, Paula, Monica, and now Chelsea - all recipients of "Mr. Gropey's" side-opening blouse. Each gift comes with a coupon for an obligatory manual mammogram.

Anonymous said...

Willy: No guys, this one really IS my daughter...Really

Chelsea: I hate my life

Jay Guevara said...

"I feel your...uh...well, not pain exactly, ..."

"Am I feeling Chelsea's tits? It depends on what your definition of 'tits' is."

sonicfrog said...

"Hillary, she’s gotten her boobies. Oh, and they are so perky..."

Army of Mom said...

And here he is, that master of misinformation, Mr. Know-It-All.

Nothing up my sleeve, presto!

*obscure Rocky and Bullwinkle dialog*

Army of Mom said...

Nope. No sir. I'm not trying to sneak a twinkie into the event. Nope, nothing up my sleeve at all. Right, Chels?

Army of Mom said...

Dad, once and for all, will you stop doing the Bob Dole Viagra ad? And, stop calling me Libby.

Army of Mom said...

Sooo, that's how it is in that family.

*Ferris Bueller line*

Army of Mom said...

No, dad. I will not pull your finger.

Army of Mom said...

You can take the man out of Arkansas, but you can't take the Arkansas out of the man. Up his sleeve you ask? Yep, a can of Bud Light.

Army of Mom said...

Ok, dad. Enough of the Star Wars jokes. Yes, yes, I know you are my father. *sigh* We're already on the dark side, alright?

Army of Mom said...

Ok, dad. Enough of the Star Wars jokes. Yes, yes, I know you are my father. *sigh* We're already on the dark side, alright?

Army of Dad said...

And for my next trick I will show you where my right hand is!

Steve O said...

Bill and his "disappearing hand trick."

Steve O said...

Okay, I can see how he might do the "disappearing hand trick" but where the freak is his entire right arm?!!

Steve O said...

Even Chelsea, with her "JV Rig" is still at risk.

"Hey heeyyyyy! It's my own DNAaaa! It's like feeling myself up! So it's okaaayyy!!"

Steve O said...

Bill was always suspicious of the fact that Chelsea was born nine months after Hillary met with The Joker.