Monday, July 28, 2008

My ObamassiahTakes the Morning Train, He Works From 9 'til 5 and Then...

Brender and Zeasel Whippers


1. The Lightworker was baffled. "Why would little bunny foo-foo bop the field mice on the head?"

2. "That was a real good thing you did Barry, blowing off those wounded troops so you could hang out with reporters in the hotel bar. That was a good thing. Real good." Lieberman tried to think good thoughts so he wouldn't be wished under the bus.

3. Obama hated riding with Congressman Barney Frank. Every time they passed a playground: "Did him. Did him. Did him."

4. "Sorry, they're out of everything but water and Diet Dr. Pepper. We warned you to get to the bar car before Senator Kennedy."

5. "Is that one? Is that one?" The Lightworker hated it when when white honky senators made him the judge in their games of 'Spot the Crackhouse.'

Best of Van Helsing
"Look, those are the hovels little taxpayers live in." But Obama couldn't bring himself to look; the sight of bitter people clinging desperately to their guns and Bibles made the arugula churn in his stomach.

Best of ThatGayConservative
And that's when Obama awoke to realize that his life in politics was all a dream and he had to ride to work on the bus like everybody else.

Best of Jack Reacher
"Scissors again! Another tie! Will somebody please pick rock or paper?"

Best of Passionate Conservative
After they destroyed the middle class, the only way Congress could see them is in the controlled environment of Suburban Country Safari.

Best of GregMan
"Now pay attention, Holy One. If you have one piece of arugula, and I give you another piece of arugula, how many pieces of arugula do you have?" Senator Lieberman tries to explain basic economics to the Obamessiah.

Best of Double the U
...but HOW do the wheels on this bus go round and round...round and round?

19 comments:

Rodney Dill said...

Lieberman: "So you see this green guy, Gazoo, right here?"
Obama: "Stop it, you're tickling him."

Rodney Dill said...

Obama (thinking): "Where's a F*cking teleprompter when you need one."

Van Helsing said...

"Look, those are the hovels little taxpayers live in." But Obama couldn't bring himself to look; the sight of bitter people clinging desperately to their guns and Bibles made the arugula churn in his stomach.

ThatGayConservative said...

And that's when Obama awoke to realize that his life in politics was all a dream and he had to ride to work on the bus like everybody else.

Army of Dad said...

Joe: I hope those windows are bulletproof.

BO: They weren't but I had them changed.

Army of Dad said...

As Joe tries to teach BO about the economic challenges in this area all BO can think about the piece of arugula caught in his teeth.

Gagdad Bob said...

Obama courageously refuses to throw people under from the back of the bus.

Jack Reacher said...

"Scissors again! Another tie! Will somebody please pick rock or paper?"

Jack Reacher said...

Barry proved he was a man of the people by taking the time to drive through flyover country.

Jay Guevara said...

Thought bubble: "Damn, still in the back of the ..uh..uh..uh.. bus. Wait - does this ..uh..uh..uh.. qualify as the ..uh..uh..uh..back of the bus? It's sorta in the back, sorta not. I have ...uh..uh..uhh hope we can uh..uh..uh..change my seat. Yes, we..uh..can!

Anonymous said...

Seeking a little encouragement from his fellow nonrepresentatives that he had a chance in hell of winning the election, Obama gets himself a surprisingly candid lecture on glass walls and knowing his place.

mpur said...

I don't want to cause no fuss,
But can I buy your Magic Bus?

Passionate Conservative said...

After they destroyed the middle class, the only way Congress could see them is in the controlled environment of Suburban Country Safari.

robert said...

Obama [thinking]: Geez, Joe... is that a booger on your finger?

Obama [thinking]: What sort of neighborhood is this? Thus must be where stinking religious, gun-clinging white trash lives.

GregMan said...

"Now pay attention, Holy One. If you have one piece of arugula, and I give you another piece of arugula, how many pieces of arugula do you have?" Senator Lieberman tries to explain basic economics to the Obamessiah.

GregMan said...

Holy One's Thought Bubble: "Oh Hamas, why do I always get stuck sitting next to a Jooo?"

GregMan said...

"Look, those are the hovels little taxpayers live in."

Good one, Van. It made me snort my arugula out through my nose.

Rodney Dill said...

...and then Obama had and epiphany. Hillary would've been the best hope for the Democratic party.

Double the U said...

...but HOW do the wheels on this bus go round and round...round and round?