Saturday, July 12, 2008

Lunchroom Etiquette

1. "I like you, lunch-lady. I think I'll kill you last."

2. "Billy, it's come to the attention of the District Commissarr that you don't love The Obama as much as the other students. We think you might benefit from some time in 'The Box.'"

3. "Frank, you and Hotlips kept me an Trapper John up all night. Use some lubricant next time!" The Livonia Elementary players present M*A*S*H.

4. "Where the f--k is that waiter with my Parmesan!"

5. "iPods. Designer backpacks. Nike Air shoes... and we still qualify for free school lunches. God bless America!"

Best of sonicfrog
"Gilligan's Table"

Best of mpur
"No, Ma'am, I don't want any free milk."

Best of Double the U
I am sorry Miss Dibbens, but your not as hot as the other teachers I sleep with.

Best of Jay Guevara
"These are not the Graham crackers I knew."

Best of Jack Reacher
"Lady, can I just eat my waffles in peace?"

Best of prince of leaves
"What do you mean you don't like your falafel, Billy? What are you, some kind of incipient pre-school racist?"

Best of robert
Jeremy, if you bite my nipple one more time, I'm gonna knock you into next week.

Best of Kaptain Krude
"I better not find any pickles in my sandwich. Oh, God help you if I find a pickle in my sandwich. For every pickle that I find, I'll kill you." Stewie Griffin's first year in school created some friction among the lunch staff.

20 comments:

Achilles said...

"No, Ms. Reno, none of us have been abused. Please don't burn our houses down."

Double the U said...

"Tofu lasagna, whole wheat gluten free bread sticks, and low acid,low sodium organic tomato sauce... to think my father would complain about something called 'Salisbury's steak'"

sonicfrog said...

"Gilligan's Table"

Double the U said...

No Mike you may not play tag after lunch...or dodge ball, touch football, "it" or any game that involves competition, running or some sort of score. You can however kiss Billy like your diversity manual instructed you.

mpur said...

"No, Ma'am, I don't want any free milk."

Jack Reacher said...

An ACORN worker registers new voters, all of whom coincidentally registered as Democrats.

Jack Reacher said...

Jane's lectures to the children on the four basic food groups were discontinued when school officials learned she labeled them "Chips, cake, Twinkies and pie."

Double the U said...

I am sorry Miss Dibbens, but your not as hot as the other teachers I sleep with.

Jay Guevara said...

"Hey, where the f@@@'s my arugula?"

Jay Guevara said...

"These are not the Graham crackers I knew."

Jack Reacher said...

"Lady, can I just eat my waffles in peace?"

prince of leaves said...

"What do you mean you don't like your falafel, Billy? What are you, some kind of incipient pre-school racist?"

prince of leaves said...

"Look, Billy, I know you're one of those La Leche kids, but if you don't stop trying to nurse off me every time I walk by, you're getting detention."

prince of leaves said...

"Ms. Barnes, Timmy says you're a ball-busting battle-axe. What does that mean?"

robert said...

Timmy, if you bite my nipple one more time, I'm gonna knock you into next week.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Little Timmy later told the nice policemen his first hunch that things weren't right was when Martha the Lunchlady announced a ban on milk cartons in honor of National Udder Day.

Double the U said...

Miss Dibbins, you still have that spit ball on your face... from last week.

sonicfrog said...

Gilligan - The Early Years.

Kaptain Krude said...

"I better not find any pickles in my sandwich. Oh, God help you if I find a pickle in my sandwich. For every pickle that I find, I'll kill you." Stewie Griffin's first year in school created some friction among the lunch staff.

Double the U said...

That whole "Let's get Mikey" thing was funny... like twenty years ago.