Friday, July 11, 2008

Gettin' Some Tail


1. "See, they all come back from the Enumclaw zoo with inflamed genitals."

2. "Tell the Chinese embassy we won't settle for less than $6 a pound."

3. Misguided scientists try to promote gay marriages in tigers, in order to add "diversity" to the species.

4. "Yeah, they're cute and all, but, dammit, Hillary needs a nice handbag for the convention."

5. A rare glimpse of Siegfried and Roy's secret kitty pr0n operation.

Wicked Best of Rodney Dill
'Yep... Jesse Jackson got to this one too.'

Best of duke of red
"Thassa nice-a p**sy, huh?"
I don't know why they have an Italian accent

Best of The Man
Due to unreasonable and asinine food guidelines, the DNC delegates better enjoy tiger nut soup and toejam sandwhiches on soy bread.

Best of Jack Reacher
Sorry, but Obama said you're not the tiger cub he knew. Under the bus you go.

Best of turtle
And you thought domestic cat piss was cheesing? Wait 'til you get a shot of this!

Best of Army of Mom
Chakotay's life after Voyager was sad, indeed.

Best of sonicfrog
...I'll sneak up behind him and stick my thumb up his ass. that'll really piss him off...

Best of prince of leaves
In true multicultural fashion, Ralph Nader consults an obscure oracle to determine whether he should run again this year.

Best of Steve O
Hey! Everybody DOES have one!

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Rashneesh the snake handler would soon learn a very painful lesson. Snakes, you can safely pick up by the tail. Tigers... not so much.

Best of Mr. Right
"...And this is where we insert the spring, like so... and voila! Another new 'tigger' for Animal Kingdom!"

22 comments:

Rodney Dill said...

'Yep... Jesse Jackson got to this one too.'

mpur said...

"It's quite simple, really. One hole is a male, two holes is a female."

duke of red said...

"Thassa nice-a p**sy, huh?"

I don't know why they have an Italian accent

duke of red said...

"Sometimes, when I get really horny, I stick my finger in here, like this!"

Van Helsing said...

"You see? Purina tiger chow makes their farts smell just like my wife's perfume."

The Man said...

Due to unreasonable and asinine food guidelines, the DNC delegates better enjoy tiger nut soup and toejam sandwhiches on soy bread.

Jack Reacher said...

Work continues on extracting planks for the DNC presidential platform.

Jack Reacher said...

Sorry, but Obama said you're not the tiger cub he knew. Under the bus you go.

turtle said...

And you thought domestic cat piss was cheesing? Wait 'til you get a shot of this!

Whacko said...

Look, I think his nuts have been cut off!"

Army of Mom said...

Crikey, she's a beauty! Where's Terri to stick her finger in its ass to see if its a male or female? What do you mean it has balls? I still need to see Terri stink her finger in its ass, ok?

Army of Mom said...

Chakotay's life after Voyager was sad, indeed.

sonicfrog said...

...I'll sneak up behind him and stick my thumb up his ass. that'll really piss him off...

Uchuck the Tuchuck said...

Gourmands agreed: Despite the difficulty in preparation "Bengali Tiger Stuffed Tiger" was worth the trouble.

prince of leaves said...

In true multicultural fashion, Ralph Nader consults an obscure oracle to determine whether he should run again this year.

Steve O said...

Hey! Everybody DOES have one!

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Ravi loved playing practical jokes on the new interns. "Look closely... you can see the light at the other end of the tunnel."

OR

Soon after his transfer to the zoo's Big Cats exhibit, Rashneesh the snake handler would learn a very painful lesson. Snakes, you can safely pick up by the tail. Tigers... not so much.

Double the U said...

Yup (heh-heh) that is exactly what I thought when I saw it.

Mr. Right said...

No, Ravi, you're doing it wrong!

It's eeny-meeny-miney-mo, catch a tiger by his TOE!

I've never even heard anyone say it eeny-meeny-miney-mick before...

Mr. Right said...

"I always thought you were supposed to get tiger's milk from the FEMALE tiger..."

Mr. Right said...

"...And this is where we insert the spring, like so... and voila! Another new 'tigger' for Animal Kingdom!"

Paul said...

And when you're done here, you get to take the Bear out for his daily bike ride.