Tuesday, June 10, 2008

WTF?

Melllvar... I mean, Timmeh!


1. The little boy from May 20th grew up to be a gigolo, servicing the AARP delegation to the DNC convention. This came as a surprise to no one.

2. A typical delegation to the Denver convention just realize who they've nominated for president of the United States. Suddenly, there aren't enough booze and drugs in the whole wide world. A similar scene would be repeated at the RNC convention, but with even tackier clothing.

3. The annual meeting of the John Tesh Fan Club drew record attendance.

4. In 2023, the B-52's gathered for their final reunion tour.

5. Entertaining at the Sun City Senior Center and being paid with a six-pack of warm Coors was one of many career lows for Denny Terrio.

Wicked Best of Gagdad Bob
CBS rejected Tennessee Williams' early draft of The Beverly Hillbillies.

Best of The Man
Obama worried about attracting white voters who didn't go to college, so far his outreach program to 134 trailer parks has been a resounding success.

Best of Double the U
"Look it buddy, you wanted the nastiest, wildest most experienced hookers I could find. I got them, now give me my finders fee." said V the K to the guy as he drank his beer.

Best of mpur
Wow. And I thought my family reunions sucked.

Best of shoechick
Suck it up Grandma, we still have the Yaegermeister shots lined up and a 12 pack of Bud on ice in the bathroom.

Best of Tim
A very 1975 Christmas

Best of Jack Reacher
A rare look inside a meeting of the Federal Reserve.

Best of jeff
"Hi, I'm a gigolo. And I don't make nearly enough to deal with this stuff."

Best of mega
Kurt still hadn't drawn the connection between his outfits and the kinds of women he was meeting.

Best of Silhouette
The moment he broke the news that he was gay, Grandma puked, Ma went for the gin, but Cousin Denny just winked.

Best of robert
Election night, 1976. Cronkite says Carter wins. Granny holds a cold can of beer to her head and pukes.

Best of curly
I told you not to:
a. eat the tomatoes from Mexico.
b. borrow one of McCain’s Depends.
c. get emotional involved in the election.
d. do a Vulcan Mind Link with a can of RockStar.

Best of trigger girlie
Bubba has learnt the hard way that he has to sacrifice quality for quantity when it came to paying for hookers with foodstamps.

Best of trigger girlie
Everyone pretended like nothing has happened and tried to drown hidden emotional trauma in alcohol after Grandma Betsy's re-enactment of Sharon Stone's "Basic Instinct" moment

Best of Army of Mom
Larry couldn't stop the binge drinking after he misplaced his pet rock.


52 comments:

The Man said...

The short list for McCain's VP that the media doesn't want you to see.

The Man said...

Obama worried about attracting white voters who didn't go to college, so far his outreach program to 134 trailer parks has been a resounding success.

The Man said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Man said...

What Andrew Sullivan does when he's not blogging #345

Double the U said...

"Look it buddy, you wanted the nastiest, wildest most experienced hookers I could find. I got them, now give me my finders fee." said V the K to the guy as he drank his beer.

Gagdad Bob said...

CBS rejected Tennessee Williams' early draft of The Beverly Hillbillies.

mpur said...

Wow. And I thought my family reunions sucked.

shoechick said...

Subby, SOTG and Army of Mom...you guessed it - your prom dates are here. You get to choose who goes where.

shoechick said...

Mom? And Grandma? What are you guys doing with Danny Terrio?

shoechick said...

Suck it up Grandma, we still have the Yaegermeister shots lined up and a 12 pack of Bud on ice in the bathroom.

Tim said...

-a very 1975 Christmas

-The GILF's are ready

-The true life of giglios, now on Lifetime

Jack Reacher said...

How to tell when The Partridge Family has passed its sell-by date.

Jack Reacher said...

A rare look inside a meeting of the Federal Reserve.

Jack Reacher said...

Smile, Middle America: This is how Barack Obama sees you!

Jack Reacher said...

A rare look inside the Senate committee that gave the Air Force tanker contract to EADS.

Jack Reacher said...

A rare look inside a meeting of the Senate staffers who produced the Windfall Profits Tax bill.

Chrees said...

In reality, time travel doesn't support the hype

Chrees said...

One barf-o-rama a la "Stand By Me" coming up, courtesy of Jim Beam and Granny.

jeff said...

The Golden Girls - the Early Years.

jeff said...

"Hi, I'm a gigolo. And I don't make nearly enough to deal with this stuff."

Chrees said...

You'd drink too in order to forget the stack of Jack Daniels empties, mom's commemorative plate collection, and the constant upskirt views of Granny.

mega said...

Some Hillary supporters refused to accept the truth, but also, those meet-up parties were just plain fun.

mega said...

It's like a McCain event, except for the kid.

mega said...

Kurt still hadn't drawn the connection between his outfits and the kinds of women he was meeting.

mega said...

When Alice realized the choice for the night boiled down to Chesthair vs. the Orange Lady, all she could do was hold a cold soda to her head and try not to hurl.

mega said...

Laugh all you want. They still managed to throw a TV off the balcony and glue all the furniture to the ceiling.

Silhouette said...

A barfer, a bartender, and a barfly...walk into a bar...

Silhouette said...

The moment he broke the news that he was gay, Grandma puked, Ma went for the gin, but Cousin Denny just winked.

robert said...

Election night, 1976. Cronkite says Carter wins. Granny holds a cold can of beer to her head and pukes.

curly said...

I told you not to:

a. eat the tomatoes from Mexico.
b. borrow one of McCain’s Depends.
c. get emotional involved in the election.
d. do a Vulcan Mind Link with a can of RockStar.

curly said...

Until she saw Maude barfing in the wastebasket, Bernice thought that she was the only one in the room who saw an apparition of the deceased Maurice Gibb of the Bee Gee singing “Stayin’ Alive”.

mega said...

The pink micromini was Maude's way of saying, 80 is the new 17.

mega said...

Maude leaned over to hurl when Kenny grabbed a brew and announced he had spent the family's last $4,000 on an 18 foot Roman column for the front lawn.

prince of leaves said...

Ahh, the parties you young'uns missed, not being around for the 1976 Bicentennial celebrations.

mega said...

The combined Cindy Sheehan for Senate / Rachael Corrie Remembrance Day event at the Motel 6 just had a weird vibe.

mega said...

Kenny and the backup singers for his Molly Hatchett tribute band "Flirtin With Disaster", in between sets, scarfing up the free beer in the break room, and makin' the best of yet another non-paying gig.

trigger girlie said...

Bubba has learnt the hard way that he has to sacrifice quality for quantity when it came to paying for hookers with foodstamps.

trigger girlie said...

Orlando Bloom finally found a new genre to star in after he was rejected from Pirates of the Caribbean III: Butt Pirates of the Ohio Geriatric Facility

trigger girlie said...

Everyone pretended like nothing has happened and tried to drown hidden emotional trauma in alcohol after Grandma Betsy's re-enactment of Sharon Stone's "Basic Instinct" moment

R. Bateman aka Pendark said...

Grandma did her best to make Christmas seem the same after Grandpa was gone.

Army of Mom said...

Two more satisfied customers of the Zohan try to recapture the pleasure with their new hairstylist, the Tony Manero wannabe.

Army of Mom said...

Nothing says Army of Dad family reunion time like American flags and breaking out the booze. Wait, there has to be a firearm in that room somewhere.

*hope you're having fun in Minnesota this week, AoD!!!

Army of Mom said...

No one told me the family reunion had a theme this time? Now I have to go find my legwarmers and feather my hair.

Army of Mom said...

Ok, grandma, as soon as we're doing listening to Wolfman Jack on the radio, I'm heading out to streak!

Army of Mom said...

Larry couldn't stop the binge drinking after he misplaced his pet rock.

Army of Mom said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Army of Mom said...

Oh yeah, ShoeChick, I most definitely have dibs on the Denny Terrio dude ... the boys can take on the uh,er, experienced gals for prom. :)

Army of Mom said...

Put that beer down, Larry, and turn on Dallas. I don't want to miss that handsome J.R. and his drunk wife, Sue Ellen. We gotta find out who shot the poor boy.

Army of Mom said...

Finally, we found the inspiration for Greater Tuna Red, White and Blue.

p.s. I think this is a Texas thing, but you'll laugh hysterically if you ever get to see these guys perform. It is like every small Texas town. :)

Adjustah said...

That reminds me, please, please, please never, ever make a GTA:IV movie...

Artfldgr said...

Today the 'Cougers' release their new album "68 frat party"

Rodney Dill said...

No Velma, I said go buy a TIVO, not a Steve-o

WV: picvdvd