Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Stool Sample

Frank IBC


1. "I swear to Allah, Sullivan, if you ask to 'push in my stool' one more time, the bus is gonna be goin' over a big, fat, English-fairy speed-bump."

2. "Demand for my farts has grown exponentially, hence the larger tubes."

3. Shouldn't there be a tall, conical hat on his head? I mean, in addition to the pipes coming out of his ass?

4. ♫ "People... people who need people... are the luckiest people I know..." ♫

5. "I have an inflatable rubber cowboy. We do it on the stove."

Instantly promoted best of Gagdad Bob
"And I'm the same person today, except back then I had the pipe in my mouth and talked out of my ass."

Best of R. Bateman
And, hey, if you babes need yet another reason to revere me as your god...I'm serious...it's this long.

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
The secret's out... in preparation for every speechifying event, Bamarama has to be plugged into hot air ductwork and overinflated to the recommended DNC hyperbole psi. Balance is still a serious problem, though; he always pulls to the left once he gets rolling on the open stage.

Best of metalgarth
Carl's Poetry Readings never really caught on at Moe's Tavern

Best of Son Of The Godfather
"Yes, my tie is caught in my fly... Next question?"

Best of Son Of The Godfather
"My sincerest hope is that this election won't be about race... And I'm speaking directly to the honkies out there..."

Best of Jack Reacher
"Ideally, the bong should be about this wide."

Best of mpur
"And then Scarlett wrote: 'I want to rub my alabaster breasts against your Mandingo chest', and that was when Michelle found my email archive."

Best of Adjustah
IM IN UR FREEZER EATIN UR JELLO PUDDIN POPS DIDDLY DOO BOP DOP BEEBOP...

34 comments:

R. Bateman said...

And, hey, if you babes need yet another reason to revere me as your god...I'm serious...it's this long.

Army of Mom said...

And the Sorting Hat puts him in Slytherin!

Army of Mom said...

Yet another comedy routine performed by B.O.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

The secret's out... in preparation for every speechifying event, Bamarama has to be plugged into hot air ductwork and overinflated to the recommended DNC hyperbole psi. Balance is still a serious problem, though; he always pulls to the left once he gets rolling on the open stage.

metalgarth said...

Poetry Readings never really caught on at Moe's Tavern

Foz said...

Whoa there Andrew... back off on the pressure in the yellow feed tube, can't you see his pants are getting big!

Son Of The Godfather said...

"I have an inflatable rubber cowboy. We do it on the stove."

Barack drives it home on the range?

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Could someone assist Mr.Matthews in the front row here? His leg seems to be having a seizure."

Chrees said...

America's Messiah comes home to roost

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Yes, my tie is caught in my fly... Next question?"

Chrees said...

Doctors will have new tools available to them under my health care plan...

Son Of The Godfather said...

"That wasn't the white, racist grandma I knew... That wasn't the Reverend Wright I knew... That wasn't the Bill Ayers I knew... That wasn't the... Hey! Who the (intercourse) keeps replacing all the people in my life with replicants?"

Son Of The Godfather said...

Cylon Hybrid: "Number 12 is active and online! Jump!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

We Title This Picture:
A Tool And His Stool

Son Of The Godfather said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Son Of The Godfather said...

"...So that is why Winnie the Pooh should shape U.S. foreign policy... You see, the wonderful things about Tiggers is that Tiggers are wonderful things!..."

*aide whispers in his ear*

"I'm sorry, I'm informed that the character of 'Piglet' may be offensive to some of my most ardent supporters and their faith... Also, in order to appease my P.C. supporters, the term 'Tigger' has been changed to 'Tegro'"

Son Of The Godfather said...

"My sincerest hope is that this election won't be about race... And I'm speaking directly to the honkies out there..."

Son Of The Godfather said...

Obama tries to answer the public outcry about his killing a seal that was less than a week old.

Shamelessly stolen from an e-mail Glenn got over at Instapundit

mpur said...

Once the curtain is pulled aside, we see that the Obamamessiah is nothing more than a lame black guy on a cheap stool backstage.




Tegro...most excellent!

Gagdad Bob said...

"And I'm the same person today, except back then I had the pipe in my mouth and talked out of my ass."

curly said...

"I’m a man of hope and change, a man for the socialist new age nirvana, unburdened by logic and free from any false sense of patriotism. I’m diversity and multi-culturalism personified, a post-neo-con Islamic sleeper that is seeking the demise of Amerikkka by being ecologically correct. My picture has been downloaded by every weirdo commie in the country, and fruitcakes and white girls faint when they see me. My shit don’t stink and I’ve got pipes coming outa my ass to supply a gaseous form of crack that causes leg tremors in the liberal media.”

curly said...

These are not the crack pipes I once knew.

Jack Reacher said...

"Ideally, the bong should be about this wide."

Jack Reacher said...

"So I'm just wondering--was Michael supposed to be the Ebony or the Ivory. It could go either way, if you ask me."

Jack Reacher said...

Better go to Freeeee Credit
Report Dot Com....

curly said...

"Take my wife...please!"

curly said...

Crack pipes we can believe in.

curly said...

"Bitter? Damn near chewed her head off!"

curly said...

“In an effort to appeal to the ‘sticky eye’ vote, the modified Presidential Seal has been omitted, the phallic pipes have been added, and the bulge of my unit is in full view. Go nuts, former Hillary supporters, go nuts!”

robert said...

People were left wondering just who's arm is reaching into Obama's pants.

Barack answer the question on everyone's mind: Is it twue what they say about the way the way you people are ...gifted?

mpur said...

"And then Scarlett wrote: 'I want to rub my alabaster breasts against your Mandingo chest', and that was when Michelle found my email archive."

sonicfrog said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
shoechick said...

It may not be very long ladies, but it is this big around.

Adjustah said...

IM IN UR FREEZER EATIN UR JELLO PUDDIN POPS DIDDLY DOO BOP DOP BEEBOP...