Friday, June 20, 2008

Redneck High School Graduation Photo

Timmah!Timmah!

1. They knew it was love when they met in the sixth grade, reaching for the same condom in the nurse's office.

2. "You'll get a smoother line in your jeans if you take the Skoal out of your back pocket, Lisa."

3. "I'm just confused about one thing, Jed. Will this baby be my sister or my cousin?"

4. Planned Parenthood looks at this picture and sees three missed opportunities for abortions.

5. Make fun all you want, but these two represent our best hope for out-breeding the Muslims.

Best of Adjustah
Happy Father's Day, Uncle Dad!

Best of The Man
Redneck Genesis: Bubba and Bobby Sue lived in the garden of Eden until Bobby Sue bit into the forbidden Moon Pie and Bubba drank from the fountain of RC Cola.

Best of Son Of The Godfather
"Honey, maybe you should lay off the beer for awhile..."

Best of Chrees
Mrs. Spears realized she had put off having "the talk" with her children way too long.

Best of Chrees
"Let's have our picture taken for the baby since you won't be out of prison for another 20 years."

Best of mpur
Bubba and Jolene Blurmt of Sodomy Creek, Tennesee are pleased to announce the engagement of their daughter Debbie Sue Patty Ann Blurmt to Bubba Damien Blurmt, Jr. also of Sodomy Creek.

Best of robert
Twink. Meet skank.

Best of prince of leaves
Um, sweetie? If your "boyfriend" has a richer tan, bigger earrings, less body hair, and a more expensive hairdo than you, you might want to think twice about your relationship. Especially if he borrows your lipstick.

Best of attmay
"Rejected Romance Novel Covers", now available at bookstores everywhere from Cap This! Press.

Best of mpur
Derek thought it was a pretty sweet deal letting Doreen practice on him for her beautician's license in exchange for sex, but then, then the chickens came home to roost.

29 comments:

Adjustah said...

Happy Father's Day, Uncle Dad!

Double the U said...

When their child found this photo in her teen years it required six more years of therapy.

)Or the Redneck equivalent, about 480 cases of Ice House.)

Double the U said...

I am surprised Wal-Mart allowed that photo to be taken. Oh, the Tennessee Sam's Club?

shoechick said...

I just love looking at old prom pictures!

The Man said...

It's a redneck Adam and Eve. Bubba and Bobby Sue in the garden of Eden until Bobby Sue bit into the forbidden Moon Pie and Bubba drank from the fountain of RC Cola.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Honey, maybe you should lay off the beer for awhile..."

Son Of The Godfather said...

It's obvious that something came between her and her Calvin's.

Tim said...

While commonly mistaken for the southern "Southron Redneckus homoerectus", this is a fine example of a breeding pair of, "Jersey Urbanus heteroerectus"

Son Of The Godfather said...

Sarah proves that you can, indeed get pregnant from a toilet seat... after a full night of drunken, unprotected, post-prom sex.

Tim said...

Testicle Tuesday meets and falls in love with the Thursday Babe. The baby was neither of theirs.

Chrees said...

Mrs. Spears realized she had put off having "the talk" with her children way too long.

Chrees said...

"Let's have our picture taken for the baby since you won't be out of prison for another 20 years."

Son Of The Godfather said...

An entrepreneur at age 17, Kevin already procured his first baby-factory.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Pssssst, Paul... Word on the street is she's a 'sure thing'..."

Chrees said...

ORA: "OK, next. Listen lady, are you sure you want to have your picture taken with every one of the 1989 Denver Broncos?"

Son Of The Godfather said...

While working side by side in the HEPA filtered cleanroom, they came up with the idea of having a child without having to go through that icky physical contact. The idea truly was an immaculate conception.

Dub said...

The best part about redneck hookers is that you can easily negotiate for 2 for 1 special.

jeff said...

"See mom - I don't just shoot blanks!"

The scary thing was that the photographer kinda got off on this photo...

jeff said...

Wiccan engagement/wedding photo.

mpur said...

Bubba and Jolene Blurmt of Sodomy Creek, Tennesee are pleased to announce the engagement of their daughter Debbie Sue Patty Ann Blurmt to Bubba Damien Blurmt, Jr. also of Sodomy Creek.

shoechick said...

With that tan and highlights, he obviously isn't the father...

mpur said...

FG ORA: Milk, milk, lemonade. Around the corner fudge is made!

robert said...

After we git our picher done, we're headed over to the protest to keep them queers from gitten married!

This wasn't the first time that the one-room school house in Sodomy Creek had parents and children in the same room.

Twink. Meet skank.

Mark Steyn, already happy after seeing the truckload of breeders at the Maya Angelou Poetry Festival and Truck Show, was delighted to see another pair of breeders with one in the oven.

prince of leaves said...

It had to happen: first there was the "pregnant man", and now we have the "impregnating woman".

prince of leaves said...

Um, sweetie? If your "boyfriend" has a richer tan, bigger earrings, less body hair, and a more expensive hairdo than you, you might want to think twice about your relationship. Especially if he borrows your lipstick.

Kaptain Krude said...

Sis?

attmay said...

"Rejected Romance Novel Covers", now available at bookstores everywhere from Cap This! Press.

mpur said...

Derek thought it was a pretty sweet deal letting Doreen practice on him for her beautician's license in exchange for sex, but then, then the chickens came home to roost.

mpur said...

So, do you think grandma has that picture framed and hanging in the living room?