Timmah!Timmah!
1. They knew it was love when they met in the sixth grade, reaching for the same condom in the nurse's office.
2. "You'll get a smoother line in your jeans if you take the Skoal out of your back pocket, Lisa."
3. "I'm just confused about one thing, Jed. Will this baby be my sister or my cousin?"
4. Planned Parenthood looks at this picture and sees three missed opportunities for abortions.
5. Make fun all you want, but these two represent our best hope for out-breeding the Muslims.
Best of Adjustah
Happy Father's Day, Uncle Dad!
Best of The Man
Redneck Genesis: Bubba and Bobby Sue lived in the garden of Eden until Bobby Sue bit into the forbidden Moon Pie and Bubba drank from the fountain of RC Cola.
Best of Son Of The Godfather
"Honey, maybe you should lay off the beer for awhile..."
Best of Chrees
Mrs. Spears realized she had put off having "the talk" with her children way too long.
Best of Chrees
"Let's have our picture taken for the baby since you won't be out of prison for another 20 years."
Best of mpur
Bubba and Jolene Blurmt of Sodomy Creek, Tennesee are pleased to announce the engagement of their daughter Debbie Sue Patty Ann Blurmt to Bubba Damien Blurmt, Jr. also of Sodomy Creek.
Best of robert
Twink. Meet skank.
Best of prince of leaves
Um, sweetie? If your "boyfriend" has a richer tan, bigger earrings, less body hair, and a more expensive hairdo than you, you might want to think twice about your relationship. Especially if he borrows your lipstick.
Best of attmay
"Rejected Romance Novel Covers", now available at bookstores everywhere from Cap This! Press.
Best of mpur
Derek thought it was a pretty sweet deal letting Doreen practice on him for her beautician's license in exchange for sex, but then, then the chickens came home to roost.
29 comments:
Happy Father's Day, Uncle Dad!
When their child found this photo in her teen years it required six more years of therapy.
)Or the Redneck equivalent, about 480 cases of Ice House.)
I am surprised Wal-Mart allowed that photo to be taken. Oh, the Tennessee Sam's Club?
I just love looking at old prom pictures!
It's a redneck Adam and Eve. Bubba and Bobby Sue in the garden of Eden until Bobby Sue bit into the forbidden Moon Pie and Bubba drank from the fountain of RC Cola.
"Honey, maybe you should lay off the beer for awhile..."
It's obvious that something came between her and her Calvin's.
While commonly mistaken for the southern "Southron Redneckus homoerectus", this is a fine example of a breeding pair of, "Jersey Urbanus heteroerectus"
Sarah proves that you can, indeed get pregnant from a toilet seat... after a full night of drunken, unprotected, post-prom sex.
Testicle Tuesday meets and falls in love with the Thursday Babe. The baby was neither of theirs.
Mrs. Spears realized she had put off having "the talk" with her children way too long.
"Let's have our picture taken for the baby since you won't be out of prison for another 20 years."
An entrepreneur at age 17, Kevin already procured his first baby-factory.
"Pssssst, Paul... Word on the street is she's a 'sure thing'..."
ORA: "OK, next. Listen lady, are you sure you want to have your picture taken with every one of the 1989 Denver Broncos?"
While working side by side in the HEPA filtered cleanroom, they came up with the idea of having a child without having to go through that icky physical contact. The idea truly was an immaculate conception.
The best part about redneck hookers is that you can easily negotiate for 2 for 1 special.
"See mom - I don't just shoot blanks!"
The scary thing was that the photographer kinda got off on this photo...
Wiccan engagement/wedding photo.
Bubba and Jolene Blurmt of Sodomy Creek, Tennesee are pleased to announce the engagement of their daughter Debbie Sue Patty Ann Blurmt to Bubba Damien Blurmt, Jr. also of Sodomy Creek.
With that tan and highlights, he obviously isn't the father...
FG ORA: Milk, milk, lemonade. Around the corner fudge is made!
After we git our picher done, we're headed over to the protest to keep them queers from gitten married!
This wasn't the first time that the one-room school house in Sodomy Creek had parents and children in the same room.
Twink. Meet skank.
Mark Steyn, already happy after seeing the truckload of breeders at the Maya Angelou Poetry Festival and Truck Show, was delighted to see another pair of breeders with one in the oven.
It had to happen: first there was the "pregnant man", and now we have the "impregnating woman".
Um, sweetie? If your "boyfriend" has a richer tan, bigger earrings, less body hair, and a more expensive hairdo than you, you might want to think twice about your relationship. Especially if he borrows your lipstick.
Sis?
"Rejected Romance Novel Covers", now available at bookstores everywhere from Cap This! Press.
Derek thought it was a pretty sweet deal letting Doreen practice on him for her beautician's license in exchange for sex, but then, then the chickens came home to roost.
So, do you think grandma has that picture framed and hanging in the living room?
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