Monday, June 16, 2008

Not the Urkel that I Knew


1. August 18th. Fell off near Bovey Tracey. The pump caught in my trouser leg, and my sandwiches were badly crushed.

2. Bill swerved at the last minute. Fortunately, Hillary got him with the door.

3. The hose connected under the seat collects the Obamessiah's flatulence, which is then sold to his followers, who believe breathing it can cure them of leprosy, erectile dysfunction, and hepatitis C.

4. FG ORA: Gumbel 2 Gumbel returns July 11th with all new episodes, only on TNT.

5. An eager young missionary from the Church of Latter Day Black Communists begins his first day of proselytizing.

Best of curly
“My racist Granny got wrapped around the axle.” His bus made inoperable by all of his old friends thrown under it, Obama is forced to campaign by bicycle.

Best of curly
“Michelle wouldn’t give me the car keys. She’s pissed about something.”

Best of Son Of The Godfather
E.T. was enjoying the ride from the safety of the basket... that is until he too was thrown under a bus.

Best of Son Of The Godfather
Without the training wheels, it looks like he's bitterly clinging to those handlebars.

Best of Son Of The Godfather
I just had a strange vision of Chris Matthews sniffing a bicycle seat.

Best of champaignken
I'll get you my pretty and your little dog too!

Best of mklasing
Another rare shot of Obama riding around searching for the 57th State.

Best of mpur
Farcical

Best of prince of leaves
...Then suddenly, Charles Johnson zips by on his road bike at 50mph, checking Obama with an outthrust elbow and sending him head-over-ass into traffic.

Best of mpur
The government invented bicycles to make black men look dorky.

Best of mandible claw
Of all the Obamessiah's miracles, the most impressive of all was making Dukakis look less dorky in comparison

46 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thank you for the Monty Python reference!

curly said...

Asked why his rear tire was apparently a little low, Barack stated that “I don’t no ways fill tires”.

curly said...

“Thanks for ‘Lennin’ me your bike. I dun ‘Marx’ your sandwich order to say hold the ‘Mao’.”

curly said...

“I’m being paid by Al Gore to perform carbon offsets for white folks’ greed.”

Dwight Wannabe said...

...And the number one reason you should never run over a politician riding a bike:

It's probably your bike.

curly said...

“My racist Granny got wrapped around the axle.” His bus made inoperable by all of his old friends thrown under it, Obama is forced to campaign by bicycle.

Anonymous said...

Hope and Change…I hope America will change their mind about voting for this dweeb, or we’ll all be riding bicycles like good little Maoists.

curly said...

“Michelle wouldn’t give me the car keys. She’s pissed about something.”

Silhouette said...

That rear tire needs a CHANGE!

Son Of The Godfather said...

Bike chains we can believe in.

GregMan said...

While the Obamessiah saves the planet by riding a bicycle, a bitter typical white person zooms past in his Buick.

Son Of The Godfather said...

ORA:
"There's no basement at the Alamo!"

GregMan said...

Why did a vision of President Carter jogging just flash through my mind? Oh yeah, this is another hypocritical far left-wing democrat posing for a phony photo-op for an adoring media.

Son Of The Godfather said...

E.T. was enjoying the ride from the safety of the basket... that is until he too was thrown under a bus.

Son Of The Godfather said...

gregman, I was thinking more of the John Kerry windsurfing pic, but you're correct!

GregMan said...

Out of the picture frame to the left: a bicycle trailer carrying all of the Obamessiah's baggage (Michelle's America-bashing, Jerry Wright's racism, ties to terrorists, commuinists etc). No wonder the rear tire is going flat.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Without the training wheels, it looks like he's bitterly clinging to those handlebars.

GregMan said...

SOTG: I know, I'm showing my age, focusing on Carter and not Kerry...

...and get off my lawn!

Son Of The Godfather said...

I just had a strange vision of Chris Matthews sniffing a bicycle seat.

GregMan said...

After his communist-inspired policies caused the total collapse of the Amerikkkan economy during his first term, even President Obamessiah was forced to ride a bike, as there was no more gasoline available for the presidential limo.

Son Of The Godfather said...

At least he got rid of all those chickens he was carrying...

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Well, you can call her what you want, but Michelle wasn't my 'first lady', if ya know what I'm talkin' about."

GregMan said...

A holier than thou do-gooder communist hurries to see some pictures of tits having sex with animals posted by a sick (intercourse).

champaignken said...

I'll get you my pretty and your little dog too!

mega said...

When the media saw that Obama's rear tire was flat, it lauded him for pushing on in the face of adversity. As MSNBC put it, "The flat tire was, perhaps, an apt metaphor for this man-god's relentless drive to achieve his and our dreams in the face of adversity, which includes a bitter history of racism and discrimination in America."

mpur said...

Farcical

mklasing said...

Another rare shot of Obama riding around searching for the 57th State.

Son Of The Godfather said...

mpur said...
Farcical


Damn, that's good!

curly said...

The hazards of riding a bike that veers far left: Obama nearly rides head-on into an older Ford F-150 driven by an underachieving, overweight, clinging white racist "breeder" with a six-pack of kids.

curly said...

Reverend Wright turn, Clyde.

mpur said...

Son Of The Godfather said...

Damn, that's good!


Thanks. I wasn't sure if anyone would catch it. :)

mega said...

what does ORA mean?

prince of leaves said...

Look on the bright side: at least he isn't wearing spandex.

prince of leaves said...

...Then suddenly, Charles Johnson zips by on his road bike at 50mph, checking Obama with an outthrust elbow and sending him head-over-ass into traffic.

prince of leaves said...

An instant later, in a demonstration of cosmic justice, a speeding bus barrels throug the intersection and runs over the Obamessiah.

mega said...

"What Would Jesus Drive?"
Now we know.

Son Of The Godfather said...

mega said...
what does ORA mean?


Obscure
Reference
Alert

Meaning in order to get the cap, you have to be a sad sack like most of us, and have to have watched an awful lot of t.v. and movies. ;)

mega said...

SOTG, ah, got it, the ORA as invented by Baldwin IV, duh! Thanks.

(self-recursive incomprehensible comment; still working up from SRIC to ORA level)

mega said...

Michelle: "White people drive cars. Blacks ride bicycles."

mpur said...

The government invented bicycles to make black men look dorky.

mandible claw said...

Of all the Obamessiah's miracles, the most impressive of all was making Dukakis look less dorky in comparison

Van Helsing said...

That flat back tire pretty much sums up Obama.

Rodney Dill said...

John Kerry riding a bicycle -- "How ostentatious to ride around on a $2000 bike."
Barack Obama riding a bicycle -- "Wonder where he stole that from."

Rodney Dill said...

"Damn the Kennedy legacy is enough dead weight, but I wish Teddy wouldn't make me pull him around in the kiddy cart."

Rodney Dill said...

Go Fast, Turn Wright

attmay said...

After a rare display of common sense, Obama threw Michael Moore under the bus. The bus broke, but Barry still has to get around.