Monday, June 16, 2008

Juan McChildfrightener


1. Jimmy always had a strong, adverse reaction to 'old man smell.'

2. Jimmy wished the smelly old man would go away so he could meet the 'giant turd sandwich' the Republicans were forcing his dad to vote for.

3. "So, let me get this straight. You passed McCain-Feingold to clean up Washington, but the congress is more corrupt than ever and you promise more of the same as president? Are the Republicans who nominated you brain-dead, evil, or just retarded?"

4. "Jimmy, you remind me of a little boy I knew back in 'Nam named Nguyen Lao. Then one day I napalmed his village and burned the skin off him and all his little gook friends, too. Bwah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

5. Jimmy finally understands the joke "What's invisible and smells like Ken-L Ration?'

Best of Adjustah
Jimmy wasn't sure what the old man's "personal stem-cell collection" was, but he was pretty sure that he didn't want any part of it...

Best of metalgarth
A young Anakin Skywalker meets Palpatine for the first time and realizes the Dark Side of the Force will get him lots more poontang than being a Jedi will.

Best of Passionate Conservative
Col. Tigh proves that Boomer's not the only skinjob that can reproduce.

Best of Van Helsing
McCain demonstrates his new policy of nipping prostate cancer in the bud with exams starting in grade school.

Best of mega
At first, McCain's choice of a child-VP seemed odd, but when it turned out that it gave the pair an average age of just 55, it suddenly made sense.

Best of Son Of The Godfather
Didn't they get rid of this guy in Poltergeist II?
♫"God is in... His Holy temple..."♫

Best of curly
“McCain Findgold. McCain Spendgold. McCain now needs more gold.”

Best of mpur
ORA: Keep absolutely still... it's vision is based on movement.

Best of prince of leave
Captured on film: the moment when a secret service frisking verges into "bad touch".

26 comments:

Adjustah said...

Jimmy wasn't sure what the old man's "personal stem-cell collection" was, but he was pretty sure that he didn't want any part of it...

Jack Reacher said...

"It's true!" Jimmy thought. "He touched me, and I turned to stone!"

Jack Reacher said...

In the live-action shows based on "Family Guy," the Mr. Herbert character was always a big hit with the kids, mmm hmmm.

Jack Reacher said...

That bastard! He killed Kenny!

Jack Reacher said...

Jimmy reacts to the news that he'll one day be working for the illegals now streaming across the border.

Double the U said...

The secret service protection for McCain was obviously a joke.

metalgarth said...

A young Anakin Skywalker meets Palpatine for the first time and realizes the Dark Side of the Force will get him lots more poontang than being a Jedi will.

Passionate Conservative said...

Col. Tigh proves that Boomer's not the only skinjob that can reproduce.

Van Helsing said...

McCain demonstrates his new policy of nipping prostate cancer in the bud with exams starting in grade school.

mega said...

At first, McCain's choice of a child-VP seemed odd, but when it turned out that it gave the pair an average age of just 55, it suddenly made sense.

Son Of The Godfather said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Son Of The Godfather said...

Didn't they get rid of this guy in Poltergeist II?
♫"God is in... His Holy temple..."♫

Son Of The Godfather said...

Billy savors the sickly-sweet aroma of Ben-Gay and old sneaker.

Dwight Wannabe said...

On a very special episode of Gookfuss and Gallant, Gookfuss concocts a plan to pay for the boy's new treehouse by impersonating the Crypt Keeper on the sidewalks of Universal Studios Theme Park.

curly said...

Johnny tries to remember his Sunday School lessons: McCain and McAbel were the first children born to McAdam and McEve.

curly said...

“…‘Chins We Can Believe In’?...That’s very funny, young man.”

curly said...

“McCain Findgold. McCain Spendgold. McCain now needs more gold.”

Anonymous said...

"Nothing says 'hope and change' like a 72-year-old Beltway Insider who's been in Washington for thirty years, huh, Jimmy?"

mega said...

"Whatever, old man, my dad's still voting for the cool black dude."

mega said...

"No, no, Jimmy. Not Paris Hilton. The Hanoi Hilton. Let me tell you all about it..." As the tales of yore and woe commenced, Jimmy's head began to explode.

Silhouette said...

"...and cough."

mpur said...

ORA: Keep absolutely still... it's vision is based on movement.

curly said...

Dredging up the ghost of Bob Hope to use as his running mate, along with his promise to the leftists to electrocute ‘a certain cynical anti-establishment caption addict’, the Arizona Republican settles on his new campaign theme: “McChange and McHope – Do you want ‘Curly Fries’ with that?”

prince of leave said...

Captured on film: the moment when a secret service frisking verges into "bad touch".

prince of leaves said...

Pandering to the shaggy cryptid vote, McCain shamelessly offers up a fresh child to Cousin It.

prince of leaves said...

"See?" McCain crowed. "I told you $#%&$* in the press back in 2000 that my love child wasn't black!"