Monday, June 30, 2008

It's MY Bus Now. Mine!

Timmeh!


1. NASA employees extend a "warm" welcome to Hussein Obama's campaign bus upon learning about his plans to defund NASA to pay for Universal Daycare.

2. ♪♫ "The urine on the bus goes splash! splash! splash!..." ♪♫

3. "Hey! You guys! That's a bus, not Paris Hilton!"

4. Why New Yorkers should never become astronauts.

5. Um, guys... you could have just left a Service Comment at the Greyhound website.

Best of curly
“My pecker’s completely numb. I don’t feel noways tires.”

Best of curly
“The flag’s over here, you idiots!”

Best of Silhouette
Astronaut urine superior to Armor All? Next on Mythbusters...

Best of The Man
Ok break's over, back to the soundstage to continue filming the upcoming manned landing on Mars.

Best of mpur
The search for alternative fuels continues.

Best of Army of Mom
And, then, the bitch drives across country wearing a diaper and going after my girl.

Best of Passionate Conservative
"What do you mean, that's not the radiator?????

Best of Submariner
"Bene Geserit Express" my butt...

Best of prince of leaves
Suddenly, over their headseats comes a shout of "PEEEENIS!" from the giggling capcom.
[what, you guys never went to summer camp?]

Best of prince of leaves
"Stop it, Pavel! I cannot pee while you whistle theme to 'I Dream of Jeannie'!"

Best of sonicfrog
Dave Mathews is touring again?

47 comments:

curly said...

“Here ya go, Reverend Wright. We heard you were thirsty.”

curly said...

“My pecker’s completely numb. I don’t feel noways tires.”

curly said...

Apparently it took a couple of rocket scientists to show Obama to piss standing up.

curly said...

“The flag’s over here, you idiots!”

Silhouette said...

Astronaut urine superior to Armor All? Next on Mythbusters...

Submariner said...

The Soviet space program may have fallen on hard times, but the way urine revs an engine after a vodka binge? AWESOME!

Submariner said...

Do we still have anything to fear from the Russian bare, next on "War Stories" with Oliver North.

Submariner said...

no, No, NO Komrade Hillary. It is your space capsule that is supposed to make a splash...

Submariner said...

Hugo fills another tanker with "special Venezuelan crude" for shipment to the U.S.

Submariner said...

A few moments later, Andrew Sullivan was seen exiting the wheel well. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't wipe the smile from his face...

Submariner said...

Wish I was still wearing my Huggy's...

The Man said...

Ok break's over, back to the soundstage to continue filming the upcoming manned landing on Mars.

mpur said...

The search for alternative fuels continues.

attmay said...

"One small step for man my butt! Not one rest stop between here and the moon? That's a pretty big step if you ask me!"

Targetpractice said...

ORA: "Pie Jesu Domine, dona eis requiem." *Whump!*

Army of Mom said...

Major Tom had a message to send his wife, but I'm not sure it had anything to do with sending his love.

Army of Mom said...

Elton John's inspiration for Rocket Man.

*word verification started with BJ*

Army of Mom said...

Dude, does weightlessness make you have shrinkage, too? I thought it was just cold water.

Passionate Conservative said...

John Glenn submitted his idea to help lower energy costs, and was laughed off the test track.

Army of Mom said...

*Gotta go, gotta go, gotta go right now*

Army of Mom said...

And, then, the bitch drives across country wearing a diaper and going after my girl.

Passionate Conservative said...

"What do you mean, that's not the radiator?????

Jack Reacher said...

"Careful, Bob, you almost stepped in my carbon footprint."

curly said...

Piss writing contest talk: “It’s just like you to bring a knife to a gun fight.”

Submariner said...

I dunno, Komrade; Sheehan is a space case and the stench is about right, but I don't think that our urban assault vehicle and spacesuits will blend in with the gang in the ditch...

Submariner said...

Ah, I see your Schwartz is as big as mine. Let's see how well you handle it.

Submariner said...

>snicker< >snicker<
"Bene Geserit Express" my butt...

Submariner said...

Shit! I hate it when I get my Schwartz twisted.

Army of Dad said...

I guess the pay in the Russian space progam is so bad that you can only tell the difference between the bums and the cosmonauts by the outfit.

Chrees said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Chrees said...

Every time I ask you about that tatoo that says "Tutela valui" you tell me to ask Spitzer...

Ricky Raccoon said...

Astronaut # 1 loads port tank of next generation flexfuel space shuttle. Astronaut # 2 loading starboard tank with Obama speeches (not in photo).

prince of leaves said...

Suddenly, over their headseats comes a shout of "PEEEENIS!" from the giggling capcom.

[what, you guys never went to summer camp?]

prince of leaves said...

Yevgeni would later suffocate, after forgetting to "close his barn door" before doing a spacewalk.

prince of leaves said...

"Stop it, Pavel! I cannot pee while you whistle theme to 'I Dream of Jeannie'!"

prince of leaves said...

The forgotten guys who died on the three secret launch attempts before Gagarin peed on the rocket engine instead, which is why the former and not the latter is done for luck.

sonicfrog said...

What, this isn't the "Piss Lightyear" audition??

sonicfrog said...

Dave Mathews is touring again?

Submariner said...

The aftermath of drinkin with Bocephus and smokin' with Willie...

Submariner said...

Uh, guys? The 7-11 guy was pointing to the door around the corner, not my Winnebago...

Submariner said...

Suddenly, everybody in Iowa wants to be Billy Bob Thornton?

Submariner said...

Don't turn around, uh-oh
Der Kommissar's in town, uh-oh

Submariner said...

When a good time turns around;
You must whip it.
You will never live it down;
Unless you whip it.
No one gets their way;
Until they whip it.

So I say - Whip it!
Whip it good!

Submariner said...

Many organizations hold bake sales to raise funds. NASA prefers to have car washes.

curly said...

What does the intended bride of a Russian Cosmonaut get on her wedding night that’s long and hard? A new last name!

curly said...

"Must you always bring up Sully whenever we take a piss together?"

Carpe Phlogiston said...

A malfunctioning $7 million space toidy required the crew to "hold it" for an entire mission. As soon as they're back on terra firma, SOPee called for a modified debriefing.
-OR-
Houston, never never EVER play that environmental babbling brook sound track after we've suited up for re-entry!
-OR-
Lucille, please tell Mission Control to stop chanting, "free willy." We can HEAR them!