Tuesday, June 17, 2008

I Hope You've Had Lunch Already


1. Rosie O'Donnell's casting couch.

2. Michael Moore kisses his wife good-bye and for the forklift to take him to the Democrat National Convention.

3. Jabba-the-Hutt arrives in California to marry long-time companion George Stephanopoulos.

4. Ang Lee's remake of Single White Female, with Rosie O'Donnell in the Bidget Fonda role and a more upbeat ending.

5. Ethanol is the number one reason for skyrocketing global corn prices. Michael Moore's newfound passion for Cool Ranch Doritos is the other one.

Best of GregMan
The World's Fattest Man meets the World's Most Desparate Woman. Romance ensues.

Best of GregMan
I CAN HAS 1,263,445 CHEEZBURGERZ???

Best of Tim
failing to wipe your mouth after dinner can lead to unwanted attention in the Moore household

Best of Chrees
I'm guessing a few too many bacon bras were consumed...

Best of Jack Reacher
Sharon didn't realize the danger she was in until the very moment his jaw unhinged.

Best of Van Helsing
First Michael Moore tried to eat her in little nibbles. Then he lost patience and bit off her head.

Best of prince of leaves
In the final scene of "Lost", Hurley uses his award fee from Oceanic to buy Ben a sex change and himself a haircut and gastric bypass.

Best of mega
To Nora, Adam Gadahn would always be the sexiest man alive.

Best of Steve O
For some reason, they can only make out at low-tide.

Best of Tim
In the future clones like this will produce enough skin for an entire burn ward

Best of Son Of The Godfather
Yeah, Basic Instict III ain't working for me.

Best of Son Of The Godfather
"Oh the huge manatee!"

Best of Army of Mom
Susan gives Dan a congratulatory kiss after he gets his own zip code.

Best of Kaptain Krude
ORA: Never before seen footage of Bender's wild time as a human is released. Futurama's ratings plummet.

53 comments:

Gagdad Bob said...

"Broke Her Back Mounting."

GregMan said...

The World's Fattest Man meets the World's Most Desparate Woman. Romance ensues.

GregMan said...

The only Mexican the border fence could keep out of the U.S.

GregMan said...

I CAN HAS 1,263,445 CHEEZBURGERZ???

Gagdad Bob said...

GET IN MAH BELLY!

Dub said...

If you cant find the hole, just pick a fold and make me feel pretty.

Gagdad Bob said...

He's a babe magnet. Literally. Pulls them into his gravitational field.

Gagdad Bob said...

Wow, a double-breasted birthday suit.

mpur said...

There's a bad moon on the rise.

Tim said...

failing to wipe your mouth after dinner can lead to unwanted attention in the Moore household

Chrees said...

I'm guessing a few too many bacon bras were consumed...

Jack Reacher said...

"I hope you don't get stuck in a fold of fat like my last girlfriend. Took me a week to find her."

Jack Reacher said...

Sully's Google search for "man crack" brought some disappointing results.

Jack Reacher said...

Sharon didn't realize the danger she was in until the very moment his jaw unhinged.

Van Helsing said...

First Michael Moore tried to eat her in little nibbles. Then he lost patience and bit off her head.

prince of leaves said...

A scene from the upcoming celebrity reality series: "On the Road With the Michelins".

prince of leaves said...

Bill was a little short for his weight...about, oh, seven feet.

prince of leaves said...

In the final scene of "Lost", Hurley uses his award fee from Oceanic to buy Ben a sex change and himself a haircut and gastric bypass.

Gagdad Bob said...

The first siamese twins connected at the tongue.

mega said...

To Nora, Adam Gadahn would always be the sexiest man alive.

Steve O said...

I thought I got to second base with that guy, but it was just back-fat.

Steve O said...

For some reason, they can only make out at low-tide.

Steve O said...

Letterman:
And later in the show we'll throw more things off the building. I understand that tonight we have something massive.

Steve O said...

Don't look now, but I think he just ate that nice redneck family.

Steve O said...

Scientists find a way to turn donuts into fat.

Steve O said...

Does this tarp make me look fat?

Steve O said...

Something about this picture reminds me of that episode of South Park where they had the "whore-off."

Steve O said...

Help! I've eaten and I can't get up!

Steve O said...

That giant sucking sound you hear is... oh never mind. I've got to go to bed or I'll be doing this all night.

attmay said...

How NOT to Treat a Choking Victim, example #11

shoechick said...

Thought bubble over the woman's head: Damn you, eHarmony, why did you let this guy post pictures that were 20 years and 1,000 pounds ago?

Tim said...

to feed his child, Gary gently vomits the half chewed food into her mouth.

Tim said...

Vampires are never as sexy in person as they are on the big screen

Tim said...

In the future clones like this will produce enough skin for an entire burn ward

curly said...

“I’m just looking after my investment!” With oil at $140 a barrel, who knew how much all of that blubber was worth.

curly said...

Seeing the name of Allah spelled out in his many rolls of fat, Moslems considered the fat infidel one of their own.

curly said...

Bush lied – Make my chicken fried.

curly said...

“He’s the only guy I know who considers forklifts and heavy duty power assisted hoists as marital aids.”

Son Of The Godfather said...

Yeah, Basic Instict III ain't working for me.

Son Of The Godfather said...

He doesn't sit on the couch, he kinda oozes onto it.

Son Of The Godfather said...

On the "Deal-A-Meal" plan, Oswald discovered Burger King gave him the best deal.

Son Of The Godfather said...

I would show affection for the poor soul hired to wipe my massive ass too.

Son Of The Godfather said...

I remember the ending to Casablanca a little differently...

Son Of The Godfather said...

Sheeeesh... How do you take your coffee, with frosting?

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Oh the huge manatee!"

Army of Mom said...

Susan gives Dan a congratulatory kiss after he gets his own zip code.

Army of Mom said...

When Dan sits around the house, he REALLY sits around the house.

Army of Mom said...

Signalling the end of time, Baby New Year returns to Earth as Mammoth Revelation.

R. Bateman said...

Josie tried hard, but she just kept getting the dates twisted in her mind. Worst of all was when she mixed up "Save The Whales Day" and "Gay Rights Day".

curly said...

“In memory of your Obama enabling hero, the great liberal newsman Tim Russert, I’ve made you ten pounds of Russet potato salad.”….“I love you more than Connie Chung! Promise me we’ll have a huge Chinese feast when she kicks the bucket!”

Kaptain Krude said...

ORA: Never before seen footage of Bender's wild time as a human is released. Futurama's ratings plummet.

shoechick said...

Hmmm...tastes like chicken.

Army of Mom said...

David Partridge really let himself go.

Singing to his Cheetos:
I think I love you, so what am I so afraid of?

the answer: Running out of Cheetos.