Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Du Werdest Eine Krankenschwester Braunchen!


1. "So, this is where the white women be at."

2. "I see you've admitted Chris Matthews. I guess that 'tingling in his legs' turned out to be the first signs of a massive stroke."

3. "Well, Hussein, I 'hoped' you were qualified to 'change' a patient's bed-pan, but you couldn't even manage that. Now, get a janitor to clean up the mess you made."

4. ORA: "MPS means 'member of the preferred sex,' that one stumped John Edwards, too."

5. "But this just says 'All work and no play make Barack a dull boy' over and over again... and 'boy' is spelled wrong."

Best of Nose
Yes sir, I looked at your resume. I don't know what "Community organizer" is.

Best of Double the U
I don't care who you are, and I don't care if you were running for President of the universe, two plus two is not 643.

Best of Jack Reacher
"That's not a bad drawing of Timmy the Turtle, but I still don't think you're art school material."

Best of Tim
Community organizer? Umm no that's not a real job Sir.

Best of Chrees
"I'm happy to see you brought The Pet Goat to read to the children...it's one of their favorites."

Best of Chewman
Hey Miss.... I like big butts and I can not lie

Best of The Man
Yep, I just cured cancer with this printout and a paper clip.

Best of The Man
Sorry Mr. Obama, I don't care who you are. You cannot sign-up McCain for Hospice no matter how old he is.

Best of Jay Guevara
"This is not the piece of paper I knew."

Best of mpur
So what is this "HMO"? Is that a discriminatory designation?

Best of Jay Guevara
"Do I have to write my middle name here? Couldn't I just put my middle initial?"

Best of Son Of The Godfather
"Can I leave the part about 'communicable diseases' blank for now?"

Best of R. Bateman
Obama pre-screens his choices for fat intern under the desk.

Best of Rodney Dill
Oh yes, you can get your GED before the election.

Best of dickey swollenz
Is this the list of skanks on their period in the Democratic Party that are fatter, and older than you?

Best of Jay Guevara
"See here where my birth certificate says I'm Muslim? Well, gimme that White-Out. Get it? White-out! I kill me!"

39 comments:

Nose said...

Honey, you ain't no Scarlett Johansson.

Nose said...

Yes sir, I looked at your resume. I don't know what "Community organizer" is.

Double the U said...

I don't care who you are, and I don't care if you were running for President of the universe, two plus two is not 643.

Jack Reacher said...

"That's not a bad drawing of Timmy the Turtle, but I still don't think you're art school material."

Jack Reacher said...

"I locked my bike to the flag pole outside. Will it be okay there?"

Tim said...

After loosing the election, Barak is sad to learn he has no other marketable skills or professions to fall back on.

Tim said...

Community organizer? Umm no that's not a real job Sir.

Chrees said...

"I'm happy to see you brought The Pet Goat to read to the children...it's one of their favorites."

Chrees said...

"Well, you can hope that someone else will change the diapers, but you're the one that wanted a photo op in the children's ward."

metalgarth said...

Carl decided after a '9 Duff Lunch' with Homer at Moe's that Milhouse's mother wasn't so bad once she lost the Coke bottle glasses.

Chewman said...

Hey Miss.... I like big butts and I can not lie

The Man said...

Yep, I just cured cancer with this printout and a paper clip.

The Man said...

Sorry Mr. Obama, I don't care who you are. You cannot sign-up McCain for Hospice no matter how old he is.

The Man said...

Andrew Sullivan had what removed from where?

curly said...

“Look, white clinger b!tch…either type it in exactly as I say, or I’m gonna have Michelle come over her and open a can of ‘Hope & Change’ on your big Hillary-lovin’ ass.”

Jay Guevara said...

"This is not the piece of paper I knew."

Jay Guevara said...

"So if I sign right here you'll sew Michelle's mouth shut?"

curly said...

“Don’t go Chris Matthews on me – quit rubbing your ham hocks agin’ my leg!”

curly said...

“Yessirree Bob, Al Gore’s internet is sumphin’.”

curly said...

“…and you say some California cracker who goes by the nom de plume of ‘curly’ wrote these clinging, racist caps? Find this ‘curly’ and bring him to Michelle’s office, at once.”

curly said...

“Botulism has a new definition in wikipedia: The irrational cult-like belief in ‘Barack Obama The Unifying Liberal’.”

mpur said...

So what is this "HMO"? Is that a discriminatory designation?

Jay Guevara said...

"Do I have to write my middle name here? Couldn't I just put my middle initial?"

curly said...

“That’s right, sir. Form Z-193 allows you to apply for an ‘Under The Bus Crowd Control’ permit.”

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Yeah baby, we can make it work, but we need to be careful... I'll go by the nickname 'Shakazulu', and you can go by 'Larry Sinclair'".

Son Of The Godfather said...

I think "Obama Girl" has lost a little of her edginess.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Can I leave the part about 'communicable diseases' blank for now?"

Son Of The Godfather said...

"I will not. Have Sex. With that woman."

R. Bateman said...

Obama pre-screens his choices for fat intern under the desk.

curly said...

“…and at 5:30 you address the Plumbers Union convention. A real bunch of clingers, so avoid discussing gun grabbing, gay weddings, and new taxes; just stay on topic with vague promises of ‘change’ and ‘hope’. Oh yeah, leave Michelle at home. These poor guys deal with fecal matter all day, so the last thing they want is to get another load from your wife.”

jeff said...

Sir, the doctor said to give you an asprin, not a colonoscopy.

No sir, we don't have any Democrat surgeons - ours like keeping the money they earn.

No sir, we don't have a "Presidential Candidate Discount" here.

Rodney Dill said...

Oh yes, you can get your GED before the election.

Jay Guevara said...

"No kidding? Are you sure there are only 50 states?"

Adjustah said...

"Ha! Ha! Ha! No, seriously. They told me that if I was nominated, I'd never have to pay taxes again..."

Double the U said...

Ever the bureaucrat Obama questions why there was only one form with six questions to get a new stapler in this office.

shoechick said...

'Scuse me while I whip this out.

dickey swollenz said...

semi ORA

Is this the list of skanks on their period in the Democratic Party that are fatter, and older than you?

mega said...

"Yes, I do wear the lavalier mic at all times. When you're the Messiah, every utterance is sacred."

Jay Guevara said...

"See here where my birth certificate says I'm Muslim? Well, gimme that White-Out. Get it? White-out! I kill me!"