Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Convenient Home Fish Delivery

Brender

1. God had to punish Springfield for Troy McClure's sick, sick fetish.

2. "Hobbittses wants their fishies, yes-s-s-s-s-s-s."

3. Rick mistakenly thought Obama wanted him clinging to cod.

4. A typo accidentally results in Andrew Sullivan make a Google search for bass-masters.

5. "But Mr. Bush... I thought you liked us white folks!"

Best of GregMan
"Dang it, my wife left me, my dog done run off, the farm is flooded, and here I am, left holding the fish."

Best of GregMan
"This dang ennui just won't loose it's hold on me."

Best of Rodney Dill
Karpe Carp

Best of Chrees
Cleetus knew if that damn fish sang "Take Me to the River" one more time he was going to snap

Best of mklasing
Unfortunately, the idiots on the New Orleans City Council took the "Chocolate City" comment literally and flooded the city with Hershey's syrup.

Best of sonicfrog
It's Lew Zealand and his Boomerang Fish Act... he he!

Best of prince of leaves
In Bizarro Iowa, Matt's spirits are lifted as Spike Lee and Sean Penn float in to rescue him, an act of noble charity which draws public attention to the nefarious Bushhitler conspiracy to blow up the Cedar Rapids levees and kill all the white people.

Best of sonicfrog
Hey, don't laugh. it was the only thing he could find to cover his enormous woody.

Best of GregMan
James Lileks looks on in disbelief as the Oak Island Water Feature malfunctions once again.

27 comments:

Rodney Dill said...

I think we're gonna need a bigger boat.

Jack Reacher said...

Matt discovers his dream of owning waterfront property has tarnished.

Jack Reacher said...

Matt was hoping to mount his fish, but found too many inquisitive neighbors watching.

The Man said...

Well the good news is that I can fish from my front door, so it a'int all bad.

GregMan said...

"Dang it, my wife left me, my dog done run off, the farm is flooded, and here I am, left holding the fish."

GregMan said...

Cletus saved his most important possesion when the flood waters rose: his talking fish.

GregMan said...

Disaster preparedness in Enumclaw was a little different from the rest of the country.

GregMan said...

"This dang ennui just won't loose it's hold on me."

Rodney Dill said...

Karpe Carp

Chrees said...

Cleetus knew if that damn fish sang "Take Me to the River" one more time he was going to snap

curly said...

He told me that:

1. he’s a blowflish, trained by Andrew Sullivan!
2. he’s a personal friend of Ted Kennedy!
3. 72 sturgeons await him in paradise.
4. Amerikkka’s channel bass have come home to rooooost.
5. Luca Brasi sleeps with the fishes.
6. he’s outraged by the price that Whole Foods charges for arugula.
7. Amerikkka’s a mean nation.

mpur said...

Redneck looters are pretty lame.

mklasing said...

Unfortunately, the idiots on the New Orleans City Council took the "Chocolate City" comment literally and flooded the city with Hershey's syrup.

sonicfrog said...

It's Lew Zealand and his Boomerang Fish Act... he he!

sonicfrog said...

♫ I don't know why I love her like I do
All the changes you put me through
Take my money, my cigarettes
I haven't seen the worst of it yet
I wanna know that you'll tell me
I love to stay
Take me to the river, drop me in the water
Take me to the river, dip me in the water ♫

sonicfrog said...

If I have to listen to this stupid fish sing "Don't Worry, Be Happy" one more time, I'm gonna scream!!!

sonicfrog said...

Inflatable sex toys for hill billies...

curly said...

Nobody does waterboarding like Iowa does waterboarding.

curly said...

Flounder? Damn near pounded her!

racerboy said...

I can haz tartut sauz?

prince of leaves said...

In Bizarro Iowa, Matt's spirits are lifted as Spike Lee and Sean Penn float in to rescue him, an act of noble charity which draws public attention to the nefarious Bushhitler conspiracy to blow up the Cedar Rapids levees and kill all the white people.

prince of leaves said...

"On the bright side, once I'm done replacing the carpets and wallboard, that FEMA trailer'll come in handy as a new fishin' camp."

prince of leaves said...

Matt insisted to the National Guard patrol that he wasn't really a looter, but they still found his story fishy.

mega said...

In red states, when you want fish for dinner, you go get one.

mega said...

Arkansas Lent.

sonicfrog said...

Hey, don't laugh. it was the only thing he could find to cover his enormous woody.

GregMan said...

James Lileks looks on in disbelief as the Oak Island Water Feature malfunctions once again.