Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Ben Affleck at His Ben Affleckiest

Timmah!
1. "Ha-ha! Chris Hansen will never find me behind all these firm, ripe chocolaty buttocks."

2. "It called 'frottage,' some Algerian kid with man-boobs taught me about it."

3. Ben Affleck killed and eaten by a tribe of pygmies? It's like Hollywood is seeing right into my dreams!

4. "More squirming! Dammit Kwame, I demand more squirming!"

5. Spike Lee remakes The Wizard of Oz, with all-Black munchkins and Ben Affleck, unsurprisingly, as Dorothy.

Best of duke of red
Boys singing: "We're f**king Ben Affleck....."

Best of Silhouette
Camouflage fail.

Best of attmay
Diff'rent Strokes: The Movie, starring Ben Affleck as Philip Drummond. Coming this holiday season to a theater near you for reasons beyond human comprehension.

Best of Double the U
Ben Affleck went to their African village and told them that he was a very famous and talented entertainer from America. The tribe didn't know any better.

Best of Adjustah
The boys were thrilled when the crazy, white stranger agreed to help them test their catapult...

Best of shoechick
I CAN HAZ OREO??

Best of curly
Sally Struthers has really let herself go.

Best of mega
Obama's cabinet was young and multicultural, but frankly, would have lacked credibility without at least one rich white guy.

27 comments:

shoechick said...

Ebony and Ivory...live together in perfect harmony.

Chrees said...

The moment Ben realizes the ignominy for making "Jersey Girl" and "Gigli" will never end.

mpur said...

ORA: Ben Affleck and the cast from the upcoming film Michael Rockefeller, the Untold Story.

duke of red said...

Boys singing: "We're f**king Ben Affleck....."

Silhouette said...

Fine, you win. You've adopted more trophy orphans than Angelina.

Silhouette said...

Camouflage fail.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Wallet check.

-->INSERT DAWN'S HEAD EXPLODING HERE<--

attmay said...

The kid second from the right looks a little too happy to be between two other boys.

attmay said...

Diff'rent Strokes: The Movie, starring Ben Affleck as Philip Drummond. Coming this holiday season to a theater near you for reasons beyond human comprehension.

Double the U said...

Ben Affleck went to their African village and told them that he was a very famous and talented entertainer from America. The tribe didn't know any better.

Jack Reacher said...

Ben Afflect believes that, because he's a celebrity, he can cut ahead of others in this Zimbabwe line for diesel fuel. His dismembered body was found shortly thereafter.

Jack Reacher said...

Ben's demonstration of how U.N. peacekeepers will treat their children was a bit too graphic for the villagers' taste.

Rodney Dill said...

"Anyone seen my mu-latte?"

Rodney Dill said...

I for one adore my new oompa-loompa overlords.

mega said...

The UN Human Rights Council continued its journey into self-parody today, welcoming as new members a bunch of African kids in funny costumes, and Ben Affleck.

mega said...

Adopting one pathetic African kid became so "me too", with major celebrities now feeling that picking up 10 to 15 at a time was required to earn serious do-gooder status.

R. Bateman said...

In an attempt to improve relations within the Democrat party, Hollywood starts its "hug a black kid" campaign.

Adjustah said...

The boys were thrilled when the crazy, white stranger agreed to help them test their catapult...

shoechick said...

I CAN HAZ OREO??

jeff said...

(kid on left) Kwame's hand on my chest, Affleck's on my butt... I just can't win today.

curly said...

Sally Struthers has really let herself go.

curly said...

What kind of insurance should a white Hollywood idiot have when visiting a black amerikkka-hating moslem country? Affleck? No, Aflac!

curly said...

Q: What do gay actors have for breakfast while in Africa?
A: Cocoa Puffers

curly said...

Q: What do you call a Hollywood vulture who wants to be black?
A: Vulgar!

Adjustah said...

All together now, "Maaaaaaaaatt Daaaaaaaaamon!" Yeah, that was awesome!

mega said...

Obama's cabinet was young and multicultural, but frankly, would have lacked credibility without at least one rich white guy.

Two Dogs said...

The ginormous, detached, floating head of Ben A-flake has been rumored to terrify all the little Luo tribal boys.

Holy Christ that photograph is terrofying.

Sorry.