Saturday, May 17, 2008

A Woman With No Discernible Butt Visits the Post Office


1. "No, ma'am... it'll probably be another four to six weeks before we receive your ass. Should have used FedEx."

2. "Thing! This is my customer! Get back to your own damn window!

3. "You want to register to vote in the Democrat primary? I'll need to see some proof of citizenship. Ha ha! Just kidding! Scared you there for a second, though. "

4. "You're 'Bloody Mary?'"

5. "Watch your mouth, missy! You wouldn't want to see me disgruntled, would you?"

20 comments:

Submariner said...

No, hon, putting a stamp on your chest isn't the proper way to become a "mail-order bride."

Anonymous said...

"and here is your perscription for noassatall. "

prince of leaves said...

Marge was later "let go" by the USPS over her disconcerting habit of staring off into space and drooling for long moments while serving customers. Not because it interfered with her job, but because it indicated she was overqualified.

prince of leaves said...

Marge didn't need to see "Susan's" missing ass to suspect she was really a man...she could see his package.

mpur said...

When I said "get your ass out of my post office", I meant that you should go with it.

Jack Reacher said...

"When Hillary is president, I'll also be in charge of rationing your health care. Have a nice day."

Army of Mom said...

Here's your room key. So, you and Mr. Army of Dad are expecting a librarian to join you this evening? But, wait, you only have a king sized bed in that room. Oooooh, I get it. You will be getting it, too.

Army of Mom said...

Here's your room key. Your room is down that blurry white hall.

Army of Mom said...

Now, fill out your application in triplicate, provide us with a DNA sample and perhaps we'll issue you a passport.

Army of Mom said...

Why yes, I am a transgendered postal employee. Isn't working for the government great?

mega said...

Marge yelled, "I'm gonna go postal on your ass!", but then quickly realized she'd been outmaneuvered.

mega said...

Marge offered her a forever stamp, and they both knew something very special had just happened.

Whacko said...

"Let's chit-chat for several minutes and see how agitated the rest of the folks in line become. Jeez, I love this job!"

Anonymous said...

Yes ma'am,... 'your cheeks in the mail'

Whacko said...

Newman from Seinfeld finally got that promotion at the Post Office, lost a little weight, and had that sex change operation he'd always wanted. But his life still sucked.

Submariner said...

I'm sorry, miss, but you forgot to put the zip code on this envelope. Return to the back of the line and see if you can get it right next time.

Gagdad Bob said...

"There must be some mistake. I've been shaking my moneymaker all week, but my bank account shows zero."

attmay said...

A still from the music video for "Baby Got No Back"

attmay said...

ORA: Another victim of Diminished Glutes Syndrome

jeff said...

"Yeah, yeah, so it's flat - do you realize how tough it is to find jeans that fit?"