Wednesday, May 14, 2008

"Why do lefty women named 'Tina' always look like this?"*


1. "Dammit, where'd I put that f**kin' tricorder." Ensign Ro, the menopausal years.

2. "What do you mean I'm too pretty for Code Pink?"

3. "Damn, you take a nap on the beach, the next thing you know, some guys from Wood's Hole are attaching a location transponder to you."

4. Pepe slunk away quietly in the background, recognizing that there were some jobs even he wouldn't do.

5. First Tip O'Neill and now *this?* Has Cap This added "Fat Bitch Wednesday" to its repertoire?

Best of mega
With Domino's on speed dial, Tina's elapsed time from idea-of-pizza to eating-pizza stood at a remarkable 30 minutes and 4 seconds.

Best of Son Of The Godfather
"Too... much... effort... to... actually... hold... cellphone... up to... mouth..."

Best of GregMan
Holding a bloodied rib bone from her last victim in her right hand, Shelob looks around for dessert.

Best of Jack Reacher
Obama supporters who spent significant time in West Virginia didn't seem to gather support for their candidate, although they visited every barbecue place they could find.

Best of Army of Mom
Look, it bears the white hand of Sarumon and the ass of Baskin Robbins.

Best of Seoulman (R)
Sue E. pictured above demonstated yesterday outside McDonald's yesterdays. She stated she was upset when the sign 0 Trans-fat appeared, "It was so personal, like they had it in for me"

Best of Army of Dad
Damn, she just pulled out the tranq dart. Reload!

Best of Jonathan
"My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard...at which point I devour them whole."

Best of curly
♫ I am illegal, they the illegal, I am the walrus,
Coo coo kachoo ka coo coo kachoo ♪

Best of divine miss m
When it says "party size" on the bag, it doesn't mean "party of one."

Best of Submariner
Tina; "Enough already with the 'Hefty, Hefty, HEFty' chants..."

Best of attmay

Thursday babe as chosen by guest Blogger, the Michelin Man, who had his access privileges removed on Friday.



* Tina Fay doesn't... yet.

53 comments:

mega said...

With Domino's on speed dial, Tina's elapsed time from idea-of-pizza to eating-pizza stood at a remarkable 30 minutes and 4 seconds.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Isn't an "activist" supposed to be, you know... active?

Son Of The Godfather said...

When did they start using white sausage casings?

Son Of The Godfather said...

Is that 5 o'clock shadow?... Looks like La Raza needs La Razor.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Rosario O'Donnell

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Subby, your prom date's... been eaten."

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Too... much... effort... to... actually... hold... cellphone... up to... mouth..."

Son Of The Godfather said...

"I dunno... She said something about making way for a "hyperspace bypass", then started reading some extremely bad poetry..."

Son Of The Godfather said...

We Title This Picture:
People For Whom The "Little Teapot" Song Was Written Especially For

The Man said...

Eric Estrada has really let himself go.

GregMan said...

"You kids stop pointing that harpoon at me!"

GregMan said...

Man, The Blob has really let himself go.

GregMan said...

Packing on the pounds Americans won't pack on.

GregMan said...

Holding a bloodied rib bone from her last victim in her right hand, Shelob looks around for dessert.

Jack Reacher said...

Obama supporters who spent significant time in West Virginia didn't seem to gather support for their candidate, although they visited every barbecue place they could find.

Jack Reacher said...

"Yeah, she's a senator now, and running for president, but ask her why she never calls her undocumented butter cup."

curly said...

“California will be a Mexican province within ten years, whether you dumbass gringos elect Obama, the Hildabeast or McLame. So learn to speak Spanish, get over it, and f*** you, you stupid white m****** f******s!”

curly said...

Give me your fired, your whores, your fat asses yearning to breed with me.

curly said...

“One more mucho coolo wisecrack and you are dead meat, Pedro.”

curly said...

“Boys! You missed an amerikkkan flag over there!”

curly said...

“Sure, Stinko de Mayo celebrates when we beat the French…So what if even Elton John beat the French! Get drunk, rape and pillage the white devils!”

curly said...

“I’ll tell you what, m***** f*****! If I was a moslem whore instead of a Mexican whore, and they made exploding vest in size XXXXL, I would put a hurting on your evil country’s white ass!”

Army of Dad said...

What no beer in hand?

Army of Dad said...

"Hey dick, I am waiting for Thursday just like the rest of you!"

Army of Mom said...

Hey guys, I'm heading over to the stinger to get my sunglasses washed. I'll see ya Thursday.

Army of Mom said...

Isn't that cute? She's got two pigs wrestling under her shirt.

She doesn't? Oops, my bad.

Army of Mom said...

Look Mr. Frodo, its one of them oliphants.

Army of Mom said...

Look, it bears the white hand of Sarumon and the ass of Baskin Robbins.

Army of Mom said...

No no no. You no come back. We kick out Michaer Moore because he eat all buffet. You no come back. Buffet crosed.

Army of Mom said...

When Tina sits around the park, she really sits around the park.

Army of Mom said...

is that a fat roll in your pocket or are you happy to see me?

Army of Mom said...

Ring the bell!

Tina's got more rolls than a Golden Corral buffet.

Seoulman (R) said...

Sue E. pictured above demonstated yesterday outside McDonald's yesterdays. She stated she was upset when the sign 0 Trans-fat appeared, "It was so personal, like they had it in for me"

Seoulman (R) said...

here she is folks, Miss Illegal Alien.... She's half mule and half coyote

Seoulman (R) said...

Operation Mooove On gets another member

Anonymous said...

Covered under the Marine Mammals Protection Act.

Army of Dad said...

Damn, she just pulled out the tranq dart. Reload!

Anonymous said...

The Mother of those two fat little buggers at McDonalds.

Jonathan said...

"My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard...at which point I devour them whole."

Jonathan said...

I CAN HAZ CHEEZBURGER...AND FRIES, AND CHOCO SHAKE...SOOPERSIZED?

curly said...

♫ I am illegal, they the illegal, I am the walrus,
Coo coo kachoo ka coo coo kachoo ♪

mklasing said...

The poor white boy's attempted disguise by wearing a sombrero did not fool Conchita as she nevertheless devoured him whole.

Submariner said...

I'm about fed up with your hidin, SOTG. That prom ain't gonna wait all night...

Submariner said...

Call me "Cake." Take a piece and pass me around...

>crickets chirping<

Submariner said...

Oh no you di-n't!

divine miss m said...

When it says "party size" on the bag, it doesn't mean "party of one."

Jay Guevara said...

Tina: "Anyone seen my thong?"

Heckler: "No, and no one ever will."

Submariner said...

Tina; "Enough already with the 'Hefty, Hefty, HEFty' chants..."

Submariner said...

Question: How did eHarmony match this couple up?
Answer: She indicated a... what do you mean "there's only one..."

Submariner said...

Miss Quahog 2008:
(And trust ol' Subby on this - the emphasis is on the second syllable.)

attmay said...

Peace though sitting on people.

attmay said...

Thursday babe as chosen by guest blogger, the Michelin Man, who had his access privileges removed on Friday.

Submariner said...

Oh, c'mon V, posting a pre-wake party? Can't you just let the Kennedy clan have their grief over Teddy's deteriorated liver-induced seizure's in private?