Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Somethin' You Want to Tell us, Bert?

1. "Damn, check out the blue sequined shirt. That would look fabulous with these pumps!"

2. Dude, Memorial Day isn't for a whole nother week!!.

3. You have the right to remain fabulous!

4. One moment later, the fashion police officer wrote himself a ticket for wearing black socks with white pumps. He also roughed himself up a bit.

5. Helga hoped that by emphasizing her feminine side, she'd refute the stereotypes about lesbian state troopers.

Best of metalgarth
Security guards for the Folsom Street Fair take the job very seriously.

Best of Dwight Wannabe
And to think it started with a new Manalo Blahnik Taser.

Best of Nose
J. Edgar Hoover - the early years.

Best of Son Of The Godfather
Officer Dangle was overjoyed at the new edition to the Reno Sheriff's Department.

Best of Son Of The Godfather
If you don't obey the lawful order of the Berkeley P.D., they'll scratch your eyes out.

Best of Son Of The Godfather
Krispy Kreme's new "Estrogen Doughnut" had curious side effects.

Best of Jack Reacher
"I'll try 'em on, but I don't think they're gonna work for me. I have a pretty wide stance, you know."

Best of Jonathan
♪ "It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood, a beautiful day for a neighbor. Won't you be my, could you be my...?" ♪

Best of Rodney Dill
Oh, you meant pump action shotgun

48 comments:

metalgarth said...

Security guards for the Folsom Street Fair take the job very seriously.

Dwight Wannabe said...

And to think it started with a new Manalo Blahnik Taser.

jeff said...

"This is the last time I offer myself up for a fundraiser."

"Hey, you know what - these are actually pretty comfortable!"

mega said...

To say that Bert had, uhm, "disturbing tastes in fashion" was to vastly underestimate how humiliated the Indiana State Police felt. Black socks, with light gray slacks and a brown shirt - WTF!!!!!????

Nose said...

J. Edgar Hoover - the early years.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"To Serve and Project"

Son Of The Godfather said...

State troopers alter their uniform code when studies revealed nothing commands respect and attention quite like "F"-me pumps.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Sweet... Is it Thursday already?

Son Of The Godfather said...

The new field sobriety test is gonna be a bitch.

Son Of The Godfather said...

I finally understand why Bob Marley did that terrible thing to the sheriff.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Officer Dangle was overjoyed at the new edition to the Reno Sheriff's Department.

Son Of The Godfather said...

If you don't obey the lawful order of the Berkeley P.D., they'll scratch your eyes out.

mega said...

White. Oh yeah, that's real appropriate for a state police officer. Not.

Double the U said...

Standard issue pumps

Double the U said...

After they take away your firearms, the democrat controlled administration will fight crime this way.

Hoosiergarth said...

just for the sake of accuracy, that guy is a Marion County Sheriff Deputy (or guy in uniform of) not an Indiana State Police officer. Let's not besmirch the wrong law enforcement agency

mixednut said...

My feet are killing me, but dammit, I look good!

Son Of The Godfather said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
metalgarth said...

"sherrif is a cross..." *DING*

What did he say?

He says the sherrif is across the street.

"NO, NO THE SHERRIF IS A CROSS-D" *DING*

As chairman of the welcoming committee, it's a pleasure to present a laurel and hearty handshake to our new CROSS DRESSER?!?!

Son Of The Godfather said...

Krispy Kreme's new "Estrogen Doughnut" had curious side effects.

Army of Dad said...

Patriots can't lose you said. Trust your partner you said. Fat lot off good it did me.

Army of Dad said...

In a new Democrat crime program beat cops will have to walk a mile in a prostitute's shoes before arresting them.

Kaptain Krude said...

"I don't understand why this prostitution undercover sting isn't catching anybody. What am I doing wrong? On the other hand, I've sure met a lot of very friendly people."

The Man said...

Andrew Sullivan likes a man in uniform. Andrew Sullivan LOVES a man in uniform and heels.

Son Of The Godfather said...

I preferred the Candies ad with Jenny McCarthy a tad more.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Dressed to the nines, Bert always enjoyed the annual Policeman's Balls.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Coming to FOX this summer:
Fashion Police

(please check your local listings)

Son Of The Godfather said...

Bert's a decent cop, but it seems like once a month he gets a little moody.

Son Of The Godfather said...

I suspect Super Trooper may take it in the pooper.

Jack Reacher said...

I believe that the officer met a lot of, um, interesting people in the store that sells pumps in that size.

Jack Reacher said...

"I'll try 'em on, but I don't think they're gonna work for me. I have a pretty wide stance, you know."

Son Of The Godfather said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Son Of The Godfather said...

We have located Dr. Spack's first client.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"I don't so much mind the junkies and crack whore's dayin and day out, but these stiletto heels are absolute murder."

mklasing said...

The ripple effect of the recent California Supreme Court opinion on gay marriage was much worse than anticipated.

Passionate Conservative said...

Bert's audition for Reno 911 didn't work out as well as he had hoped.

Jonathan said...

♪ "It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood, a beautiful day for a neighbor. Won't you be my, could you be my...?" ♪

Rodney Dill said...

This gets Larry Craig everytime.

Rodney Dill said...

I'm Gellin'

Rodney Dill said...

Oh, you meant pump action shotgun

racerboy said...

What would you do for a Klondike bar?

divine miss m said...

One night in Bangkok and the tough guys tumble.

racerboy said...

PIMPIN'...UR DOOIN IT WRONG!

divine miss m said...

ORA:

That's just what this country needs: a cop in a frock on a rock.

Van Helsing said...

No no no. When the Sarge said to bring the pump action, he meant the shotgun.

mpur said...

Prohibited from using tazers, law enforcement officers employ new methods for subduing suspects.

shoechick said...

FASHUN...UR DOIN IT WRONG!

mpur said...

Ultimately, Officer Peterson was suspended for tampering with evidence in the infamous Huge Honkin' Feet Hooker murders.