Saturday, May 10, 2008

Pugsley Addams Visits His Local Library

Americana

1. "I don't get it. How can Heather have two Mommies?" "It's called a turkey baster, Billy."

2. "Mommy! Billy's hoggin' Our Bodies, Ourselves and he won't share!"

3. John Gray is full of sh1t. If women really were from Venus, they'd be adapted to survive in a broiling atmosphere of high pressure sulphuric acid.

4. "So, where in the Dewey decimal system do I find stroke books?"

5. "As a matter of fact, Mr King, I'd rather get shot in Iraq than have to read your over-written schlock anyway."

Best of Son Of The Godfather
"Who the f*ck is 'Waldo', and why do I care where he is?"

Wicked Best of Seoulman (R)
Harry Potter and the Witches of Code Pink

Best of Son Of The Godfather
Note Written In Margin: "Billy, I'm in 'Periodicals'. Find an excuse to wander over here. Love, Mary Kay."

Best of curly
“Billy! Shhhhh! Here comes the leather dog collar wearing, arugula juice drinking, child hating, abortion promoting, dog shit eating, Pinto driving, New York Times ‘Letters to the Editor’ writing, unmentionable body parts piercing, Vulcan-whore-with-a-slave/dog-fetish imitating, Bush/Cheney loathing, Obama loving, sadomasochistic, progressive ultra-liberal Code Stink Democrat librarian, with her loop handled, chain reinforced, spike studded, rabies infected pit-bull certified, PETA condemned dog leash. Apparently your loud sighing while reading the “NAMBLA Weekly” is drawing stern consternations from the hetro homeless bums sleeping in the corner.”

Best of curly
“Cool! VtheK’s ‘Caption This!’ is finally out in book form, with chapters dedicated to Subby, SOTG, AoM, PoL, Silhouette and the others. Thank goodness they edited out Curly’s worthless crap.”

Best of Seoulman (R)
America's 57 States! An I can almost read book

Best of divine miss m
The only friends Dominic has either debate, recite, or are here on a 6-month student visa from New Delhi.

Best of attmay
"Hey Cindy, look! It's one of those papery things Mom and Dad used to play with before they invented video games! What did they call them again?"

30 comments:

Jack Reacher said...

"I may be only seven, but even I can see the Marxism crap is insane. So, what's Chomsky's excuse?"

Jack Reacher said...

"Timmy, who's JenJiss Khan?"
"Tina! Mom told you not to read John Kerry's Senate testimony!"

Jack Reacher said...

Timmy stumbled across a document detailing Oil For Food payments to numerous U.N. personnel, as well as European government officials. Timmy suffered a tragic "accident" before he could tell anyone, though.

Jack Reacher said...

"Obama, you magnificent bastard! I read your book!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

Little girl's got a bigger package than Obama (but perhaps not Hillary).

Son Of The Godfather said...

Billy's history book from the year 2158 showed the demise of America stemmed from an administration based on "hope", but little else.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Thought Bubble:
"Who the f*ck is 'Waldo', and why do I care where he is?"

Son Of The Godfather said...

Note Written In Margin:
"Billy, I'm in 'Periodicals'. Find an excuse to wander over here. Love, Mary Kay."

Son Of The Godfather said...

Thought Bubble:
"Gonna fart, blame little sister."

curly said...

“Billy! Shhhhh! Here comes the leather dog collar wearing, arugula juice drinking, child hating, abortion promoting, dog shit eating, Pinto driving, New York Times ‘Letters to the Editor’ writing, unmentionable body parts piercing, Vulcan-whore-with-a-slave/dog-fetish imitating, Bush/Cheney loathing, Obama loving, sadomasochistic, progressive ultra-liberal Code Stink Democrat librarian, with her loop handled, chain reinforced, spike studded, rabies infected pit-bull certified, PETA condemned dog leash. Apparently your loud sighing while reading the “NAMBLA Weekly” is drawing stern consternations from the hetro homeless bums sleeping in the corner.”

curly said...

“Cool! VtheK’s ‘Caption This!’ is finally out in book form, with chapters dedicated to Subby, SOTG, AoM, PoL, Silhouette and the others. Thank goodness they edited out Curly’s worthless crap.”

curly said...

“It says here that while everything’s big in Texas, everything in California is long, narrow and bent in the middle.”

curly said...

Future members of the ‘Eggheads and African-Americans for Obama’ coalition.

mega said...

"Chapter 3.

As soon as Mom isn't looking, give your sister a huge wedgie."

Seoulman (R) said...

Mom, are presidential knee pads like the kind I wear when I skateboard

Seoulman (R) said...

America's 57 States!
An I can almost read book

Seoulman (R) said...

Harry Potter and the Witches of Code Pink

Seoulman (R) said...

How to Honor Kill Your Baby Sister and Get Away With It for Dummies

Seoulman (R) said...

Mom, look, Curious Obama and the Deceived Voter is here. See, there is the reporter with the yellow hat.

Mom, what is the reporter in the yellow hat doing to Curious Obama? It looks like a picture in the magazine dad hides in the garage.

divine miss m said...

The only friends Dominic has either debate, recite, or are here on a 6-month student visa from New Delhi.

Kaptain Krude said...

"OOOoooh, so THAT'S what I'm supposed to do with my penis!" The lightbulb over Billy's head went on with an audible click.

Rodney Dill said...

"Fat, dumb, and stupid is no way to go through life son... Oh.... In that case would you like a glass of Chivas with your comic book and twinkies Master Kennedy."

Son Of The Godfather said...

Seoulman (R) said...
Harry Potter and the Witches of Code Pink


Love it!

attmay said...

"Hey Cindy, look! It's one of those papery things Mom and Dad used to play with before they invented video games! What did they call them again?"

Double the U said...

hehehehe, "Everything you wanted to know about sex but were afraid to ask." hehehe.... ummm Cindy, what is this word?

Army of Mom said...

*shaking my head*

I'm soooo not on my A game. I was reading V's caps and wondering why this little boy would be studying about TVAs and strokes. Took me re-reading it to GET it.

*bimbling off to read/watch porn, so I can get back to my A game*

Army of Mom said...

Um, looks like Billy REALLY enjoyed that book judging by the wet spot in his pants.

Army of Mom said...

Hey Sally, I found a really neat poetry book. Check this out:

There was a chick named Army of Mom.
All the guys thought she was da bomb.
She had great big cans
Worked well with her hands
And, made Army of Dad glad he was a dude.

Army of Mom said...

Here's another, sis, called Looking for a Date.

There were two fellas looking for chicks.
SOTG and Subby bragged about the prowess of their dicks.
But, lo and behold, what wasn't really told was that what they had in their pants were actually bricks.

V the K said...

Actually, AoM, it's the little girl looking for the stroke books.