Monday, May 12, 2008

Old. School.


1. "You little bastards found my lower dentures yet?"

2. "A Chappaquiddick diorama? Why Ted Kennedy, you magnificent bastard!"

3. "Get back to our 'inkwells' and 'chamber pots.' Just how frakkin' old are you, McCain?"

4. "Hey, look, a trilobite exhibit. Those things used to be all over the place when I was a kid. Then they went extinct. Probably due to man-made global warming."

5. "Enjoy your youth while you can. Once my amnesty passes, none of you little sh1ts is ever gonna find a job."

Wicked Best of mega
In a scene eerily reminiscent of the conclusion of Logan's run, the children, who had never seen someone so old before, then crowded around McCain, tugging on his white hair and touching his leathered skin, the joy of discovery punctuated by confusion and a tinge of fear.

Best of Jack Reacher
"Miguel, Maria, there are places where the Rio Grande is this shallow. Really. Tell your family."

Best of lawhawk
Keep bailing kids. That global warming is a real killer and the short ones wont make it.

Best of Seoulman (R)
Check the paternity tests again, this can't be right!

Best of GregMan
"Now kids, this is what your neighborhood will look like after Global Warming makes the sea level rise. Your parents will all drown, your friends will all be dead and your puppy will die too. Hey, why did you all start crying? It's a scientific fact!"

Best of GregMan
"You kids get out of my tide pool!"

Best of curly
“Sure kid, I know what the Jurassic Period is. It’s that time of the month when your wife turns into a real bitchosaurus.”

Best of curly
“Thanks for sponging my drool off the display, kids.”

Best of Army of Mom
Over here is a Zeppelin like I piloted back in ott seven.

32 comments:

The Man said...

Hey Jason, this old exhibit over here talks!

Jack Reacher said...

"Get a load of this Atlantis exhibit. They got it all wrong. It didn't look like this at all."

Jack Reacher said...

Thought bubble
Say, look at V the K's site; I look hot naked."

Jack Reacher said...

"Miguel, Maria, there are places where the Rio Grande is this shallow. Really. Tell your family."

jeff said...

"Oh hi, Barak - I've got some of your voters here."

jeff said...

"Nice diverse crowd of kids - you did well, staffers!"

jeff said...

Kid in middle: "Like I'm ever going to vote for you, honkie!"

mega said...

In a scene eerily reminiscent of the conclusion of Logan's run, the children, who had never seen someone so old before, then crowded around McCain, tugging on his white hair and touching his leathered skin, the joy of discovery punctuated by confusion and a tinge of fear.

lawhawk said...

Keep bailing kids. That global warming is a real killer and the short ones wont make it.

Seoulman (R) said...

You know kids, this reminds me of the time I met Noah, now that was after he built the ark, and he said to me....

Seoulman (R) said...

Bobbing for trash was even more exciting than bobbing for apples

Seoulman (R) said...

Strangely, no teachers seemed to be concerned that five students hadn't returned to the bus.

Seoulman (R) said...

Mom, this old guy keeps offering us candy

Seoulman (R) said...

Check the paternity tests again, this can't be right!

GregMan said...

"Now kids, this is what your neighborhood will look like after Global Warming makes the sea level rise. Your parents will all drown, your friends will all be dead and your puppy will die too. Hey, why did you all start crying? It's a scientific fact!"

GregMan said...

"Did someone say 'Geritol'?!?"

GregMan said...

"You kids get out of my tide pool!"

GregMan said...

"Now, this pool of water represents the sinking ship that the Republican Party has become with me as the nominee. You kids are the Concervatives trying to keep it from going completely under. I'm gonna stand here and blather about Global Warming some more."

GregMan said...

"Oops! I just cr@pped my pants! And it feels good!"

curly said...

“Sure kid, I know what the Jurassic Period is. It’s that time of the month when your wife turns into a real bitchosaurus.”

curly said...

“Thanks for sponging my drool off the display, kids.”

curly said...

“Speaking of fossilized artifacts, let me tell you about my amnesty plan.”

curly said...

“Hey Barack, we found your shoulder pads!”

Army of Mom said...

Hey, mom, check out this fossil!

Army of Mom said...

If you kids will look over here, we have a Rino-a-saurus.

Army of Mom said...

Dad, I don't see any rhinos in this exhibit. Aw, wait. I get it now.

Army of Mom said...

*thought bubble over the kid in the red cap* I'll show you guys for calling me chunky. Stupid a55holes don't notice that the water is yellow.

Army of Mom said...

When Smeagol realized that McCain found the ring in the water, he startled the children away as he began to choke the life out of McCain.

Army of Mom said...

Thought bubble over McCain's head:

It's working. The ring forged in Mordor is mine. BWAHAHAHAHA!

Army of Mom said...

McCain's secret to long life: drinking the Ents' water from Fanghorn Forest.

Army of Mom said...

Over here is a Zeppelin like I piloted back in ott seven.

Army of Mom said...

This is the crummiest wax museum I've ever been in. This old guy doesn't even look lifelike.